There are a few mohels who have been in Florida for a very long time, such that "everyone" in certain circles uses them. In fact, before calling me, this couple called my friend Rabbi Howie Seif (the Knife), who was unable to serve because he was leaving town, but he gave them my name.
I do the same for him when I get calls when I am away.
But even Rabbi Seif wasn't the first mohel they lined up. All of their friends use a certain mohel, about whom they heard - from those very same friends - that his bedside manner is not what they need. Breaking the mold of just calling the guy everyone hires, they called around, got a few names, did their research and eventually got confirmation from a friend about me.
The phone calls: Baby's grandfather called. We spoke. Heavy focus on bedside manner being important.
Then the baby's father spoke. Again, assurances that the kind of bedside manner they'd be getting is what they are looking for.
And after the fact, after I spend 1/2 hour in their home the day before the bris, plenty of time at the bris (in minutes before and after) explaining what will happen, what did happen, and of course in caring for the baby, as well as another visit to their home to see the baby a few hours after the bris (to remove his bandage and make sure all was well), the father of the baby told me, "You were just what we needed."
I wish for all parents of a boy to have a similar experience as this one. Many mohels have a wonderful bedside manner, and give the time to the parents and explain everything, and address their concerns.
Some, obviously, do not. Which is unfortunate.
The bris is a holy act, a defining experience of the Jewish people for close to 4,000 years - in fact, the OLDEST TRADITION WE HAVE. Of course it should be joyous, of course it should be celebrated properly, and of course it is something we should be proud of and we should never need to defend it.
But for the parents of the baby, there is a natural tension and unease. Because the baby is, after all, undergoing surgery, and we want that to go well, and for the baby to be in a good place as far as his healing is going, as quickly as possible after the bris. And the parents sometimes need to be coddled through the experience, because as much as we want to do it, it doesn't make the experience an easy one.
Enter the Bedside Manner Mohel. And all will be OK!!