No, it's not the fight of the century.
But it is a question which comes up a lot. So here is the simple answer, from a mohel, of course.
[Though see here for a Reform Rabbi's answer http://www.jweekly.com/article/full/15332/which-one-is-better-doctor-or-mohel/]
Every person must do research and find the best operator for your needs, and for your situation.
In an ideal world, the person you are hiring is an observant Jew, who understands the significance of Bris Milah, the covenant, and all the laws associated with the performance of a bris milah. Whatever character traits you'd like in the person might also be significant to consider, when thinking about what kind of representative you (especially the father, who is really hiring the person to perform this mitzvah in your place) want to fill your place in this very important mitzvah.
ANYONE WHO FILLS THESE ROLES TO YOUR DESIRES IS A GOOD HIRE. [Even better, if he uses a marker when operating...]
Other things to consider:
1. Specialist
Who does more procedures? Many doctors I know (they are usually observant Jews) highly recommend a mohel over a doctor. They have the attitude that the mohel is a specialist. This is his field. He is the expert. Being highly trained in a specific discipline, and specializing in this unique field, makes the mohel most qualified to do this. [Obviously if a doctor happens to also be a mohel, this will work to his advantage in some people's eyes. But honestly, the service a doctor/mohel and a mohel provide is the same thing with respect to the circumcision and the result, except perhaps in two areas as I'll note below]
2. Method
Most doctors are more comfortable using a clamp - such as the Gomco or the Mogen clamp. Do research on these items, to decide if they are right for you. Some mohels (usually on the very modern side, or in the Conservative and Reform movements) use the Mogen clamp or a modified Mogen clamp. Most traditional mohels use what is called in Hebrew a Magen (מגן), a traditional "shield" (which protects the glans and the scrotum) which does not have a clamping arm. THIS IS THE PROCEDURE I USE While no procedure is completely bloodless (a real bris is not supposed to be bloodless), the clamps are supposed to cause less bleeding. The traditional method may have a little more bleeding, but in the hands of a good mohel, it is absolutely nothing to worry about.
And, as Rabbi Cartun points out in the article I linked to above (here it is again), the speed in which a mohel operates is usually much faster than any physician.
3. Numbing
See here for a discussion about this. Most doctors will give the baby several injections to create a nerve blockage. While the baby might not feel the bris, the baby will feel the injections (and may feel them hours later as well). Some mohels recommend or provide a topical anesthetic. Depending on its strength, it may remove the pain of the actual circumcision.
4. How is baby held?
Numbing does not help the baby's discomfort at having his legs held down. Most mohels have the sandak holding the baby's legs, and letting go as soon as the procedure is over. Many doctors might utilize a circumstraint to hold the baby, leaving the baby in an uncomfortable position significantly before and sometimes after the procedure as well.
5. Track record and Touch-ups
Probably the most important question is "what is the track record?" While I don't have statistical evidence, I have spoken to pediatric urologists and pediatric surgeons who have told me anecdotally that they do many more touchups on circumcisions done by doctors than by mohels. [Don't trust me. Ask similar doctors that you may know.]
Doctors tend to take off a little less foreskin, which leaves the penis looking uncircumcised in many cases of touch-up necessity.
[Many "problems" disappear when the child gets out of diapers, and certainly by puberty. But for babies who need their circ to be revisited - it is worth asking people and doctors who has a better track record.]
A surgical marker could resolve this issue, but most mohels and doctors don't use one (though I do! :))
I guess it is clear that I prefer a good and experienced mohel over a doctor. Surprised?
Showing posts with label Mohel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mohel. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Sunday, August 31, 2014
The Special Role of Mohel
Of the last few brisses I have performed, a number of them have been for people I have known for a very long time. Of the fathers: A friend from college (15 years), a former camper of mine (18 years (though I know the mother's family for almost 30 years)), family friends (I know the father since he was 6 - for over 20 years).
Being brought into the family circle when I'm already in the family circle is super special. Not too many people know their mohel personally. And the truth is, it it probably awkward for people to make the phone call out of the blue to a person who is in this line of work.
But as my college friend remarked at his son's bris - when he first found out I was a mohel (I already was when we were in college), all he could think was (long before he was married, and long before any child was on the way) "You are never going near my child." And now, all he could think was, "I wouldn't want anyone else to serve as my son's mohel."
It is ALWAYS an honor to serve. I try to get to know everyone in the time I spend with every family. Some families are very straightforward. Some families have an infectious sense of humor. Some like to hear as much information as I can provide. Some have very few questions and are very trusting. Some are more nervous. Some are chilled out.
Having a very long history with people brings the relationship to a whole new level. And thank God for social media, I maintain contact with people now in ways that was more difficult before.
But it is such an honor, every time I meet people with their son(s) and they introduce the boy with a smile and say, "He was your mohel. Do you remember him?" I usually do, the boy usually does not. Knowing that I was able to help the father with his "shlichut" (agency) to help him fulfill his mitzvah, and that it is something which is forever remembered and appreciated, is a gift that is hard to top.
Thank you for the privilege!
Being brought into the family circle when I'm already in the family circle is super special. Not too many people know their mohel personally. And the truth is, it it probably awkward for people to make the phone call out of the blue to a person who is in this line of work.
But as my college friend remarked at his son's bris - when he first found out I was a mohel (I already was when we were in college), all he could think was (long before he was married, and long before any child was on the way) "You are never going near my child." And now, all he could think was, "I wouldn't want anyone else to serve as my son's mohel."
It is ALWAYS an honor to serve. I try to get to know everyone in the time I spend with every family. Some families are very straightforward. Some families have an infectious sense of humor. Some like to hear as much information as I can provide. Some have very few questions and are very trusting. Some are more nervous. Some are chilled out.
Having a very long history with people brings the relationship to a whole new level. And thank God for social media, I maintain contact with people now in ways that was more difficult before.
But it is such an honor, every time I meet people with their son(s) and they introduce the boy with a smile and say, "He was your mohel. Do you remember him?" I usually do, the boy usually does not. Knowing that I was able to help the father with his "shlichut" (agency) to help him fulfill his mitzvah, and that it is something which is forever remembered and appreciated, is a gift that is hard to top.
Thank you for the privilege!
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Honesty From Your Mohel
Please note: This is not "confessions of a mohel." This is sharing of information, in which I try to be realistic about the pluses and minuses of the bris experience - with whichever mohel you may one day hire.
But over the years I have been asked MANY questions. Some are fairly simple and common, and some are much more complicated. Because as much as circumcision is a relatively minor surgery, the organ upon which it is done is not "minor," the nature of the procedure in question is quite sensitive - physically AND emotionally, and, perhaps most importantly, the results of the procedure (NOT the ceremony) will last a lifetime, and will be something parents will encounter every day, until the child realizes what privacy is, and from then on HE will encounter the results every day.
[Some people only realize afterwards how much the personality of the mohel, and perhaps how the way he personally experiences his Judaism informs how he runs the ceremony and perhaps relates to people, is also important to them!]
[Some people only realize afterwards how much the personality of the mohel, and perhaps how the way he personally experiences his Judaism informs how he runs the ceremony and perhaps relates to people, is also important to them!]
I have met many men who have confided in me that they are not sure if their mohel did a good job. Everything usually "works" but they don't like how it looks or think something is awry. But because it's embarrassing to discuss or address (who really wants to have a cosmetic touch up?), most do nothing about it. Except mention it in confidence to a friendly mohel - who is in the field, but is not interested in rendering an opinion nor is he in a position to do anything about it.
Some mohels have communicated with me how helpful they find this website to be. Others have communicated their opinion that I offer too much information and scare parents away.
To the former I say thank you, and to the latter I respectfully disagree. We live in the Information Age when people find whatever they need to know with a few clicks on a keyboard. And so I have tried to provide information on both extremes, and everywhere in between, so people can have a good understanding of how things can go perfectly, how there could be a few bumps on the road (including this error that some mohels are not careful to avoid) and how much care and thought people need to put into their research and decision making.
And if people choose not to hire me because I am honest and say I am imperfect, so be it.
When I lived in NY, a pediatric surgeon told me he had done touch up work on babies circumcised by every mohel in NY. Even the BEST of the BEST. Here in Florida, a pediatrician and a pediatric surgeon (2 different people) have shared similar statistics.
NOONE is perfect. And parents, who are often doing research for their mohel on a very limited time frame (too often people wait until after the baby is born, at which time they have only 7 days until the bris), don't have the time to ask ALL the important questions to make sure the mohel they are talking to is exactly what they are looking for. Sometimes, they don't even know what that means.
I take the precautions to make sure I can deliver as close-to-perfect a job as I can. I double check afterwards to make sure everything looks as good as I can get it to look. I try to be as sensitive to your baby as I can, and to give you as much respect, courtesy, and straightforward information as I can. I want you to know what is happening and what has happened to your baby. The ceremony is flexible, depending on your background, your crowd, the setting, your level of observance, and any number of factors that weigh into your personal situation.
And the results show. I meet many babies months after their bris, and their parents are happy, and the babies don't remember a thing. They smile at me, coo at me, and have no ill will.
With the exception of one case where an anatomical abnormality was uncovered once the foreskin was removed (it was not evident while the foreskin was present), I am unaware of any touch-up surgeries that followed my brisses, on account of the precautions I take (the case I mentioned needed a surgery irrespective of the circumcision). Does it mean every circumcision turns out the same? No. And that I am unaware of touch-ups does not mean they never happened. I simply don't know. But most mohels will not say that "it sometimes happens." It's actually a lot more common when an OB-GYN does the circumcision, but it does happen to mohels too. Nobody is perfect.
There you have it. Up front and straight. Everything on the table. From a mohel who is honest with you, who will communicate with you, and who will do the best he can to give you and your baby a positively memorable experience - with the main positive memory being a satisfactory result that you and baby will be happy with for the rest of his life.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
A Mohel in South Florida
There are many cities in Florida that do not have a local mohel. There may be some people who will opt to have a physician play the role on the traditional eighth day, and there are some who will bypass tradition opting for a hospital circumcision in the hospital on day 1 or day 2 of their baby's life. [I don't recommend this path because I believe that a bris milah is incomplete unless it is done by the right person on the eighth day - or afterwards, if delayed for medical reasons.] If a person chooses this latter method, the procedure described here Hatafat Dam Brit, would be needed to turn the circ into a bris.
For those who are looking for the traditional method, a bris done with a mohel, the difficulty comes in finding the right person for your needs, as well as someone willing to travel.
The travel expenses are sometimes the biggest deterrent for people contemplating the traditional route. But if you think of bringing in a mohel as a one-time expense which, in most cases, doesn't repeat itself for at least two or three years (if not more, if there's a girl somewhere in the mix), then it becomes a little easier to stomach.
So whether you are looking for a mohel, moyle, moil, moyel, in Naples, in Fort (Ft.) Myers, in Sarasota, in Tampa, in Western Florida, or in Kendall, in Miami, in North Miami, in North Miami Beach, in Ft. Lauderdale, in Hollywood, in Boca Raton, in Delray Beach, in Pompano Beach, in Plantation, in Cooper City, in Palm Beach, in West Palm Beach, in Boynton Beach, in Aventura, in Weston, in Pembroke Pines, in Margate, in Deerfield Beach, in Lake Worth, or in Wellington (not to mention Jupiter, Stuart, Port St Lucie, or Orlando) - or even Gainesville, Jacksonville, Tallahassee or Pensacola, to which I am accessible by plane, be in touch! I'd be honored to join your family for the bris of your son!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
A Beautiful Sentiment
At today's bris a self-described "grandmother-age" woman said to me, "It was so nice to meet you. It's good to see a young person who enjoys being Jewish and contributes to Judaism in this manner."
Her husband also commented how years ago the thought was that Mohels will die out. It is therefore nice (if not surprising) to see a young mohel.
I know I won't be young forever. But while I am still blessed with relative youth, I am grateful for the opportunity to play this role at this stage of life.
I look forward to the day when I'll look back and see another generation of Mohels being trained to undertake this task that helps families fulfill this sacred and ancient mitzvah and tradition.
Her husband also commented how years ago the thought was that Mohels will die out. It is therefore nice (if not surprising) to see a young mohel.
I know I won't be young forever. But while I am still blessed with relative youth, I am grateful for the opportunity to play this role at this stage of life.
I look forward to the day when I'll look back and see another generation of Mohels being trained to undertake this task that helps families fulfill this sacred and ancient mitzvah and tradition.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Been Updating Photos
I once noted that I don't have pictures in this blog.
That was before I created my Facebook page.
Since creating the page on Facebook, I've been asking people to send photos from their brisses (I obviously can't take photos while working), and some people have been very gracious and generous with their offerings. [The photo here is with the 90+ Holocaust-survivor great-grandfather serving as Sandak. His grandson is assisting him, holding the baby]
I've uploaded some recent ones to my facebook page.
Check 'em out!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
What Makes YOU Different?
Someone recently asked me that - in the context of our talking about bris milah and this vocation of mine. Good question.
While some of the things I am about to describe are true with some mohels, I aim to bring them all together.
- creating a sterile field for the bris (as is done in an operating room)
- metzitza with a tube stuffed with gauze - no passage of saliva/blood between mohel and baby
- all sterilized instruments, drapes and bandages are opened for the first time at the bris
While some of the things I am about to describe are true with some mohels, I aim to bring them all together.
- The Main difference is that I view the bris experience as an educational experience. I aim to share as much information as I can share with you, so you understand what will be happening to your son, and what you are really asking me to do on your behalf.
- I am one of very few mohels who uses a surgical marker (or any magic marker) to guide the incision I will make during the bris. [Most mohels (arrogantly, in my opinion) "estimate" the foreskin, and don't pay much attention to aesthetics. I know it is important to you, however, and it is therefore extremely important to me that I 'get it right.' Using the marker assures a significantly more consistent result.]
- I spend the time getting to know you, getting a feel for who you are and what you want the bris experience to be. You are never "a number"
- From when bris mode sets in (beginning with our pre-bris meeting or phone conversation - not the "booking" but the "let's go over all the details" one) I am completely at your service until the last time I feel I need to see your baby. I communicate, call, keep you informed of all you need to know. If your home is within driving distance (as opposed to if I came by plane), I can come visit anytime you want afterwards to see how things are looking and let you know of what is still to come.
- Depending on your particular needs - participation of men, women, family, friends; as well as accomodations for religious observance and preference - I hope to tailor the bris ceremony and experience to your liking.
- I don't have a particular formula that I use every time - it is more like a very loose script that guides our way, but is open to much ad-libbing. All to make each bris unique and special for its participants.
- I am a superstickler for sterility
- creating a sterile field for the bris (as is done in an operating room)
- metzitza with a tube stuffed with gauze - no passage of saliva/blood between mohel and baby
- all sterilized instruments, drapes and bandages are opened for the first time at the bris
- I am extremely careful to leave your baby with a clean bandage, after having observed for the requisite amount of time that his wound has clotted and that he is not bleeding.
- I give you full instructions for how to care for the wound after the bris, and what you will be seeing.
I hope you will consider utilizing my services, and I appreciate the trust and confidence you put in me.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Why I don't have tons of pictures in my Mohel Blog
For a whole host of reasons, I chose to blog about bris milah. I enjoy writing, and I enjoy sharing ideas. And I feel there is not enough information out there that is easy to find, and that truly gives you, the parents of a baby soon to undergo a bris (or in the post-op stage wondering why things look the way they look).
So I blog, and when things come up, I try to address them. Especially when they come up a lot in conversation, or in the emails or phone calls I receive on a regular basis.
People have asked me how come I don't have pictures of myself doing a bris? Because I work alone and don't have the opportunity to snap photos of myself when I am caring for a baby.
People have asked me why I don't have pictures of me smiling holding a baby? Because that gives no indication of whether I am a good mohel. All it does is demonstrate how starched my mohel-jacket is, and whether I am photogenic.
I prefer not to put up dozens of pictures of the same bris to make it look like I am very busy when I am not. Or even to put up single pictures from many brisses to prove how busy I am.
You need information. Not smiling Jon. So, poke around, read what I've written. And if you believe I care enough about sterility, and your baby, and you, and not about me, my "show" and how "I will look," then call (516 850 9694) or email me (avbillet@gmail.com)
When I do your son's bris, you can take a picture of me. And if you send it to me, maybe I'll put it in a posting. But only at your request.
So I blog, and when things come up, I try to address them. Especially when they come up a lot in conversation, or in the emails or phone calls I receive on a regular basis.
People have asked me how come I don't have pictures of myself doing a bris? Because I work alone and don't have the opportunity to snap photos of myself when I am caring for a baby.
People have asked me why I don't have pictures of me smiling holding a baby? Because that gives no indication of whether I am a good mohel. All it does is demonstrate how starched my mohel-jacket is, and whether I am photogenic.
I prefer not to put up dozens of pictures of the same bris to make it look like I am very busy when I am not. Or even to put up single pictures from many brisses to prove how busy I am.
You need information. Not smiling Jon. So, poke around, read what I've written. And if you believe I care enough about sterility, and your baby, and you, and not about me, my "show" and how "I will look," then call (516 850 9694) or email me (avbillet@gmail.com)
When I do your son's bris, you can take a picture of me. And if you send it to me, maybe I'll put it in a posting. But only at your request.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
A Long-Term Care Reminder
One question that comes up a lot, particularly when a baby boy is 4-12 months of age is, "Why doesn't it look circumcized?" (I get this a lot more often when I wasn't the mohel, but every now and then if I was)
In most cases, "it" actually does look circumcised, except that a minor issue needs to be tweaked.
Before I continue, let me be clear that this may be difficult to understand without the visual image, but I will do my best!
Clench your fist, and look at the profile of your arm. Imagine the fist is the glans, and your arm is the penile shaft, and you understand what the penis should look like from the side. The glans should sit above the shaft, and its outer rim should be completely separate and distinct from the shaft.
UNFORTUNATELY, not all parents realize this should be the case, until it is slightly too late.
What do I mean by slightly too late? I mean
In most cases, "it" actually does look circumcised, except that a minor issue needs to be tweaked.
Before I continue, let me be clear that this may be difficult to understand without the visual image, but I will do my best!
Clench your fist, and look at the profile of your arm. Imagine the fist is the glans, and your arm is the penile shaft, and you understand what the penis should look like from the side. The glans should sit above the shaft, and its outer rim should be completely separate and distinct from the shaft.
UNFORTUNATELY, not all parents realize this should be the case, until it is slightly too late.
What do I mean by slightly too late? I mean
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Finding a Mohel in South Florida
A web search for a "mohel in south florida" or "mohel in florida" may have brought you to this particular page.
Ought you just go with the top search engine listing?
RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH
Everyone who has any media sense or savvy will have nice pictures and guarantees of a beautiful ceremony. Of course that's what you'll find. After all, don't we all do the same thing?
Yes, and no.
Yes - we all do a ceremony, we all do a circumcision, and we all take care of your son.
No - it's not all the same.
Ought you just go with the top search engine listing?
RESEARCH RESEARCH RESEARCH
Everyone who has any media sense or savvy will have nice pictures and guarantees of a beautiful ceremony. Of course that's what you'll find. After all, don't we all do the same thing?
Yes, and no.
Yes - we all do a ceremony, we all do a circumcision, and we all take care of your son.
No - it's not all the same.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
He's YOUR Son, Really
I've blogged about this before - but it deserves a repeat every now and then (though I am presenting things differently)
I was invited to do a bris on shabbos recently, outside of my home town, so my family enjoyed the good company of our relatives who hosted us and the lovely community where the new baby's bris would take place.
Being a visitor for shabbos, as the mohel for the bris in town, I was comfortable introducing myself as a mohel to people (especially pregnant people), even though normally I hesitate to do so (it's my bad business sense that prevents me from this sort of 'ambulance chasing.') In this context it was normal. I met a lot of people, and the conversation always went like this.
"Nice to meet you. Welcome to our community. I am ____, what's your name?"
"Avi Billet. Nice to meet you too."
"What brings you here for shabbos?"
"I am doing the bris tomorrow/ I am doing the bris this morning/ I was the mohel this morning for the bris."
"O - Mazal tov!"
"Thank you. Mazal tov. Good shabbos!"
I had a conversation along these lines with a couple who is expecting a baby soon, at which point they said, "Well, our family only uses Mohel X."
Were you happy with the procedure, with the ceremony, are you aware that the way he does a bris might not follow your standards of halakha (Jewish law)?
"If you know anything about my parents" (says one member of the couple) "you won't argue and you won't ask any questions either."
To which I said, "But it's YOUR baby! YOU have the right to choose what YOU want."
Please don't misunderstand. Had they given any indication that they LOVED (or even liked) the mohel in question, I would have dropped the conversation. An A+ experience with a mohel is a beautiful thing, and they should return to it.
But, they were hesitant, they seemed unsure, and frankly, a little too adherent to old-school mentalities as dictated to them by their parents/ in-laws.
Everyone wants a mohel who does a good job where it counts - meaning surgically, asthetically, and healing wise. Everyone wants there to be minimal bleeding, and for the baby to heal quickly, and without incident. There are never guarantees with anything in life, which is why you do your research, and you pray and hope for the best.
But some people would also like a mohel who relates to them in a way others don't. They want personality "b" instead of personality "a."
All I am saying is this: You NEVER need to settle for an option that is disagreeable to you. Look around, know what questions you want answered, and what you want the answers to be. Make a few phone calls. Read websites, blogs, discussion groups, interview a few mohels, and make a decision. You owe it to yourself to have the best experience YOU want to have. And you owe it to your baby to give him the best care in every department.
I was invited to do a bris on shabbos recently, outside of my home town, so my family enjoyed the good company of our relatives who hosted us and the lovely community where the new baby's bris would take place.
Being a visitor for shabbos, as the mohel for the bris in town, I was comfortable introducing myself as a mohel to people (especially pregnant people), even though normally I hesitate to do so (it's my bad business sense that prevents me from this sort of 'ambulance chasing.') In this context it was normal. I met a lot of people, and the conversation always went like this.
"Nice to meet you. Welcome to our community. I am ____, what's your name?"
"Avi Billet. Nice to meet you too."
"What brings you here for shabbos?"
"I am doing the bris tomorrow/ I am doing the bris this morning/ I was the mohel this morning for the bris."
"O - Mazal tov!"
"Thank you. Mazal tov. Good shabbos!"
I had a conversation along these lines with a couple who is expecting a baby soon, at which point they said, "Well, our family only uses Mohel X."
Were you happy with the procedure, with the ceremony, are you aware that the way he does a bris might not follow your standards of halakha (Jewish law)?
"If you know anything about my parents" (says one member of the couple) "you won't argue and you won't ask any questions either."
To which I said, "But it's YOUR baby! YOU have the right to choose what YOU want."
Please don't misunderstand. Had they given any indication that they LOVED (or even liked) the mohel in question, I would have dropped the conversation. An A+ experience with a mohel is a beautiful thing, and they should return to it.
But, they were hesitant, they seemed unsure, and frankly, a little too adherent to old-school mentalities as dictated to them by their parents/ in-laws.
Everyone wants a mohel who does a good job where it counts - meaning surgically, asthetically, and healing wise. Everyone wants there to be minimal bleeding, and for the baby to heal quickly, and without incident. There are never guarantees with anything in life, which is why you do your research, and you pray and hope for the best.
But some people would also like a mohel who relates to them in a way others don't. They want personality "b" instead of personality "a."
All I am saying is this: You NEVER need to settle for an option that is disagreeable to you. Look around, know what questions you want answered, and what you want the answers to be. Make a few phone calls. Read websites, blogs, discussion groups, interview a few mohels, and make a decision. You owe it to yourself to have the best experience YOU want to have. And you owe it to your baby to give him the best care in every department.
- A mohel who does a bris according to the halakhic dictates of the lifestyle you have chosen for yourself (or the level in Jewish law that you at least want for your son's bris)
- a ceremony that agrees with your personalities and the style you want for yourselves and your guests
- a standard of sterility that is top-notch for a public ceremony such as a bris
- a bris that has a time limit - that does not drag on
- that starts on time and finishes in a timely manner that is respectable to all present - most notably the baby, but which is also sensitive to the needs and schedules of those honoring you with their presence
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
The Wrong Attitude Is Not to Ask
Someone recently called our home from New York. She gave birth to a boy a few weeks ago, and the bris took place on time – the services of a local NY mohel were obtained.
In her conversation with my wife, she indicated she had a few concerns and questions about her son's bris, so I was given the phone to offer a mohel's perspective and to put her mind at ease.
After describing the way the mohel had instructed her to oversee her baby's healing process, and giving the best explanation she could of what things looked like, she kept asking, "Is this normal?"
From the information that was shared, and obviously without having seen the baby, I felt that while the prognosis was not standard, with time all would heal properly and look fine.
I had a few questions of my own: Did the mohel explain everything that you'd see? (No). Did he give you instructions how to care for the bris? (Yes) Did he walk you through the process in advance? (No) Was he nice to you? (Yes – everyone uses him) Just because everyone hires him does not mean everyone has a nice experience – overall, do you think you would call him again? (No). Why not? (Uhhhh)
Then came what, to my mind, was the most disturbing comment in the conversation. "Now that I've had this experience, if I ever have a son again I'll know what to ask in advance, and I'll do it right."
[INSERT BUZZER SOUND]
Wrong thing to say!
Don't Make Your Son Into Your Experiment
Let us remember that each child is precious. That we want the best for every child. And, as best as possible, we should do what is right the first time around.
This means that if you are a parent, you must ask all the questions BEFORE your son's bris, even and ESPECIALLY if it is your first son.
[I will grant that if you've had a positive experience with a mohel in the past and trust the man completely, then you need not go through everything again – that is your choice, and I feel it is justified. But the conversation should be had with any mohel you are employing for the first time for your family – even if you've had (a) son(s) before!]
Some Links about IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
A list of 21 questions,
Triple C - Ceremony, Care, Complications
An old post about this subject of doing research beforehand
The 4 Most Important Questions ("how much will it cost?" is not one of them!)
In her conversation with my wife, she indicated she had a few concerns and questions about her son's bris, so I was given the phone to offer a mohel's perspective and to put her mind at ease.
After describing the way the mohel had instructed her to oversee her baby's healing process, and giving the best explanation she could of what things looked like, she kept asking, "Is this normal?"
From the information that was shared, and obviously without having seen the baby, I felt that while the prognosis was not standard, with time all would heal properly and look fine.
I had a few questions of my own: Did the mohel explain everything that you'd see? (No). Did he give you instructions how to care for the bris? (Yes) Did he walk you through the process in advance? (No) Was he nice to you? (Yes – everyone uses him) Just because everyone hires him does not mean everyone has a nice experience – overall, do you think you would call him again? (No). Why not? (Uhhhh)
Then came what, to my mind, was the most disturbing comment in the conversation. "Now that I've had this experience, if I ever have a son again I'll know what to ask in advance, and I'll do it right."
[INSERT BUZZER SOUND]
Wrong thing to say!
Don't Make Your Son Into Your Experiment
Let us remember that each child is precious. That we want the best for every child. And, as best as possible, we should do what is right the first time around.
This means that if you are a parent, you must ask all the questions BEFORE your son's bris, even and ESPECIALLY if it is your first son.
[I will grant that if you've had a positive experience with a mohel in the past and trust the man completely, then you need not go through everything again – that is your choice, and I feel it is justified. But the conversation should be had with any mohel you are employing for the first time for your family – even if you've had (a) son(s) before!]
Some Links about IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
A list of 21 questions,
Triple C - Ceremony, Care, Complications
An old post about this subject of doing research beforehand
The 4 Most Important Questions ("how much will it cost?" is not one of them!)
Monday, August 23, 2010
Is the Mohel a Doctor?
This has been coming up a lot lately.
I wear a lab coat at the brisses I do (as you can see under my tallis in the photo on the right), for a few reasons:
1. It looks official
2. It looks clean - can't argue with the whiteness of white (who said I can't be profound?)
3. The lab coat has deep pockets for me to put the things I need accessible at different times through my bris workings.
For people who don't know me, though, it makes them think I am a physician. Which I am not.
I wear a lab coat at the brisses I do (as you can see under my tallis in the photo on the right), for a few reasons:
1. It looks official
2. It looks clean - can't argue with the whiteness of white (who said I can't be profound?)
3. The lab coat has deep pockets for me to put the things I need accessible at different times through my bris workings.
For people who don't know me, though, it makes them think I am a physician. Which I am not.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Right to Choose
I later wrote a Part II to this
You're a young parent. You are about to have your first son (or your second, or your third, etc). You know you're going to be making a bris. You'd like to do research and hire the person you want to do the job. Then mom or dad call and say "Use our friend. He was good enough for you back then." You're thinking, "I don't want a guy who is old enough to be my parent (or grandparent). I want someone who can relate to my experience." Not that the person being recommended is not a good mohel. But your needs are different. [Of course I am not suggesting a mohel should be judged by his age. You should get the right mohel for what you need]
He's your baby. You have the right to choose.
Getting Ahead Means Constant Education - Static is a Formula for Mediocrity
In order to get to the top of one's field, every professional has an obligation to continue one's education. As one mohel put it to me after I had observed him work, "Please tell me what I am doing wrong. I am always learning." Mind you, this man has been a mohel for over 25 years. So I admire him for being able to say this, even though he certainly didn't need any comments of mine.
When you're put on the spot like that, it is hard to be honest. Especially when you don't really know the guy.
So I told him, "Here are the things I would have done differently. I would wear sterile gloves (as opposed to your method of wearing no gloves and using your bare hands). I would have a wastebasket under the table."
What I did not say was, "I would make sure the wine and all materials are there before I begin. I would know who all the key players are (i.e. who is the father, and who are the grandparents) before I begin the ceremony. And I would not delay the start of the ceremony twenty minutes because I am not ready."
I once mentioned to my father that a person who had been reading the megillah on Purim for thirty years must really know it well. My father said, "Yes. Except he's been making the same mistakes for thirty years."
The World of Competition or 'Why Settle for Mediocrity?'It is amazing to me that people settle for mediocrity just because that is what they are used to.
Imagine this scene: There is one kosher restaurant in town. The food is OK (not great), the service is borderline (leaning towards lousy), and the prices are a little higher than reasonable (bordering on ridiculous). You go there only because you don't know anything else, and because you like to eat out every once in a while, but mostly because there are no other options
But don't you think you'd be checking circulars, ads, newspapers, yellow pages, the internet to see if a different kosher restaurant is opening? Let's say this mediocre restaurant is "all you ever knew." Can't you imagine that a different option might be an improvement? Especially if it is looking to compete with what has been, until now, the "only show in town?"
That is a depiction of restaurants.
Why I Prefer to Promote the Finer Qualities of A New Age Mohel
When I was a younger (not as busy) mohel, a friend of mine once said to me in commiseration "Does it really matter if a sixty year old [makes the cut] or if you do it?" His point was that the cosmetic result will be the same. The sixty+ year old in question (a certain mohel in NY), has a reputation and an endless supply of clients. Does it really matter to a young family if they get the thirty year veteran or the (then) five year veteran? All they want is for the bris to go well and for the baby to heal nicely!
Not really.
The New Age Mohel is in tune to modern sensitivities and sensibilities. He uses the most up to date methods of sterilization. He is neat and polished He is extremely aware of the clients he serves, their particular needs, and the needs of their guests who join in their celebration.
And he knows what new parents really want to get out of the bris experience.
What Do Parents Really Want?
New parents want to be treated with dignity and respect. They want the mohel to give them the time of day. They want a person who will sit with them and talk to them, and address their concerns. They want a person who will explain to them the process, who will raise and discuss important issues, who will give them the information they need to feel most comfortable with the process of the bris. They want a mohel who will help guide them and show them different options, to help them understand and find what they want.
They want to see that the mohel practices with a sterile technique. They want to see that he works in a clean space. They want to see that he treats their baby gently. They want to see that they and their baby are not just a number - that they are treated like human beings, like parents who have just had the amazing experience of birth, and who want to have an equally meaningful experience with the bris.
They want follow up. They want the mohel to visit the baby after the bris. To see that everything is OK. To give clear instructions. To call. To be in touch. To care.
See here for a list of good questions to ask a mohel
WARNINGS
Too many people go into the bris experience with too little information. You would never choose a surgeon for yourself without doing research: why pick a mohel for your newborn without doing research?
The bad stories and experiences are usually swept under the rug.
People are embarrassed to talk about their son's penis and his bris.I have heard the following statements from (too many) people who did no research before hiring someone for their son's bris. No one is perfect. But these statements should never have to be said after your son's bris.
THESE ARE ACTUAL QUOTES FROM PEOPLE I HAVE MET, WHO TOLD ME THE STORY OF THEIR EXPERIENCE AFTER LEARNING I AM A MOHEL (WHO DOES THINGS VERY DIFFERENTLY THAN THESE COMMENTS INDICATE ABOUT OTHERS' BRIS EXPERIENCES)
"The diaper was a mess after the bris."
"The mohel did not give us clear instructions."
"There was a bleeding problem."
"The baby got an infection from the bris." [THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN]
"The mohel was not in touch."
"The mohel did not practice good personal hygiene, or in the way he conducted the bris."
"The mohel told us how to take off the bandage, and instructed us over the phone."
"The mohel was insensitive to our needs."
"I wish I had done more research."
"I wish I had even explored other options."
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
You're a young parent. You are about to have your first son (or your second, or your third, etc). You know you're going to be making a bris. You'd like to do research and hire the person you want to do the job. Then mom or dad call and say "Use our friend. He was good enough for you back then." You're thinking, "I don't want a guy who is old enough to be my parent (or grandparent). I want someone who can relate to my experience." Not that the person being recommended is not a good mohel. But your needs are different. [Of course I am not suggesting a mohel should be judged by his age. You should get the right mohel for what you need]
He's your baby. You have the right to choose.
Getting Ahead Means Constant Education - Static is a Formula for Mediocrity
In order to get to the top of one's field, every professional has an obligation to continue one's education. As one mohel put it to me after I had observed him work, "Please tell me what I am doing wrong. I am always learning." Mind you, this man has been a mohel for over 25 years. So I admire him for being able to say this, even though he certainly didn't need any comments of mine.
When you're put on the spot like that, it is hard to be honest. Especially when you don't really know the guy.
So I told him, "Here are the things I would have done differently. I would wear sterile gloves (as opposed to your method of wearing no gloves and using your bare hands). I would have a wastebasket under the table."
What I did not say was, "I would make sure the wine and all materials are there before I begin. I would know who all the key players are (i.e. who is the father, and who are the grandparents) before I begin the ceremony. And I would not delay the start of the ceremony twenty minutes because I am not ready."
I once mentioned to my father that a person who had been reading the megillah on Purim for thirty years must really know it well. My father said, "Yes. Except he's been making the same mistakes for thirty years."
The World of Competition or 'Why Settle for Mediocrity?'It is amazing to me that people settle for mediocrity just because that is what they are used to.
Imagine this scene: There is one kosher restaurant in town. The food is OK (not great), the service is borderline (leaning towards lousy), and the prices are a little higher than reasonable (bordering on ridiculous). You go there only because you don't know anything else, and because you like to eat out every once in a while, but mostly because there are no other options
But don't you think you'd be checking circulars, ads, newspapers, yellow pages, the internet to see if a different kosher restaurant is opening? Let's say this mediocre restaurant is "all you ever knew." Can't you imagine that a different option might be an improvement? Especially if it is looking to compete with what has been, until now, the "only show in town?"
That is a depiction of restaurants.
Why I Prefer to Promote the Finer Qualities of A New Age Mohel
When I was a younger (not as busy) mohel, a friend of mine once said to me in commiseration "Does it really matter if a sixty year old [makes the cut] or if you do it?" His point was that the cosmetic result will be the same. The sixty+ year old in question (a certain mohel in NY), has a reputation and an endless supply of clients. Does it really matter to a young family if they get the thirty year veteran or the (then) five year veteran? All they want is for the bris to go well and for the baby to heal nicely!
Not really.
The New Age Mohel is in tune to modern sensitivities and sensibilities. He uses the most up to date methods of sterilization. He is neat and polished He is extremely aware of the clients he serves, their particular needs, and the needs of their guests who join in their celebration.
And he knows what new parents really want to get out of the bris experience.
What Do Parents Really Want?
New parents want to be treated with dignity and respect. They want the mohel to give them the time of day. They want a person who will sit with them and talk to them, and address their concerns. They want a person who will explain to them the process, who will raise and discuss important issues, who will give them the information they need to feel most comfortable with the process of the bris. They want a mohel who will help guide them and show them different options, to help them understand and find what they want.
They want to see that the mohel practices with a sterile technique. They want to see that he works in a clean space. They want to see that he treats their baby gently. They want to see that they and their baby are not just a number - that they are treated like human beings, like parents who have just had the amazing experience of birth, and who want to have an equally meaningful experience with the bris.
They want follow up. They want the mohel to visit the baby after the bris. To see that everything is OK. To give clear instructions. To call. To be in touch. To care.
See here for a list of good questions to ask a mohel
WARNINGS
Too many people go into the bris experience with too little information. You would never choose a surgeon for yourself without doing research: why pick a mohel for your newborn without doing research?
The bad stories and experiences are usually swept under the rug.
People are embarrassed to talk about their son's penis and his bris.I have heard the following statements from (too many) people who did no research before hiring someone for their son's bris. No one is perfect. But these statements should never have to be said after your son's bris.
THESE ARE ACTUAL QUOTES FROM PEOPLE I HAVE MET, WHO TOLD ME THE STORY OF THEIR EXPERIENCE AFTER LEARNING I AM A MOHEL (WHO DOES THINGS VERY DIFFERENTLY THAN THESE COMMENTS INDICATE ABOUT OTHERS' BRIS EXPERIENCES)
"The diaper was a mess after the bris."
"The mohel did not give us clear instructions."
"There was a bleeding problem."
"The baby got an infection from the bris." [THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN]
"The mohel was not in touch."
"The mohel did not practice good personal hygiene, or in the way he conducted the bris."
"The mohel told us how to take off the bandage, and instructed us over the phone."
"The mohel was insensitive to our needs."
"I wish I had done more research."
"I wish I had even explored other options."
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Putting Parents At Ease - More Considerations
Over the weekend, I attended a presentation/discussion in which one person mentioned her impression that bris turns some people off from Judaism. Almost as an aside she said "They think it is barbaric."
It wasn't my forum, so I kept quiet. I have a lot to say on the subject, but it's for a different place. My blog, for example.
Firstly, I don't believe the bris turns people off from Judaism. It's a big world out there. People who are unhappy with Judaism will find any excuse they want.
As far as circumcision being barbaric, that statement is a hard sell in the United States when over 60% of the newborn male population is circumcised - either routinely with a clamp (with or without a local anesthetic), in the O.R. under general anesthesia, or as part of a religious or holistic ceremony - and until relatively recently, over 90% of the newborn male population of this country was circumcised.
The American Choice
In American culture, people have all kinds of reasons for circumcising their sons. I learned about this recently when our son was born, when my wife and I were handed a pamphlet about circumcision which boiled the choices down to two: "to circumcise or not to circumcise; that is the question."
They have a number of reasons why people may opt to circumcise.
* Medical suggestions that urinary tract infections, penile cancer, and other penile illnesses (including STDs) are less common and the penis is less susceptible when circumcised.
* It is easier to clean.
* Family - father and brothers are circumcised
* Cultural - everyone else does it
* Aesthetics - You like the circumcised "look" better than not.
* And, of course, religious reasons.
Reasons not to circumcise include:
* It is healthy tissue which guards a very sensitive area of the body
* No medical benefits if the child is taught how to clean under the foreskin
* Why subject a child to such surgery, which may be unnecessary?
The "barbaric" nature of circumcision is not raised, even if people may personally feel it to be such.
Why Jews Circumcise Their Sons
While the religious reason is most obvious, the best verbal explanation I have heard of late was in the documentary "Partly Private" - a film made by a secular Israeli woman living in NY, who was researching whether or not to circumcise her as-yet-unborn son (they had circumcised his older brother, but were displeased with the experience).
When a number of her Israeli friends gathered to be a sounding board for her deliberations, one of her friends who had become observant said, "If you are deliberating circumcision because you think it is 'barbaric' - you are right. Don't circumcise. But if you have faith in God and understand that this is what God asked of the Jewish people, as this is a mark of the covenant He forged with Abraham, then this is not barbaric. This is an act of love: for your child, for your people, for your God."
He is so right. The reason we circumcise is FAITH.
But it's still BARBARIC, Right?
It really depends on your perspective.
Most medical authorities who deal strictly from a medical perspective (in other words, who do not have an agenda), will argue the benefits versus the risks, the pros versus the cons. Very few will call it a barbaric procedure.
Most people who call it barbaric have an agenda, have an obsession, and find it hard to not think about how life (read "sex") would be different if the parents had not chosen to "make the cut" on them.
And they'll usually show a picture of a red, screaming baby to show the kind of pain a baby feels when undergoing a circumcision.
Before we continue, it is important to understand that there are different kinds of circumcision procedures, and all kinds of situations that can make a baby cry and scream bloody murder.
Setting the record straight
Babies cry. They scream. They can be in all kinds of discomfort. And sometimes there is not much we can do to ease their pain.
Babies who have blood tests, shots, raw diaper rashes, or sometimes just have colic may very well be inconsolable. Would you not have your baby have the necessary blood test or innoculation just so your baby won't ever cry?
Sometimes benefits outweigh the downsides. And sometimes not.
There are some who will argue that babies nerve endings are underdeveloped and so they don't feel the circumcision.
This is a lie.
Babies absolutely feel pain. But they only feel the pain to which they are subjected - and that, only if nothing is done to numb them from the pain. Which brings us to two points worthy of consideration when considering the difference between what is known as "routine circumcision" and a bris (A circ in an O.R. is a completely different story, because once the baby is under general anasthesia, all bets of pain and discomfort are off.)
SPEED OF PROCEDURE and NUMBING
Click this line to read the article in which it appears: "A mohel does not usually use anesthetic, because his anesthetic is the speed with which he does the circumcision. "
Most routine circumcisions are done elaborately, painstakingly, with a clamp that crushes the skin in order to achieve hemostasis. Since the skin is essentially dead when it is excised, there is usually no bleeding by the time the last skin is removed. Kudos.
Meanwhile, the baby has been in excruciating pain throughout the procedure (which usually takes between 5 and 20 minutes), unless the circumciser has used a penile block (3 injections around the circumference of the penis, along the lower base of the abdomen), to numb the area during the procedure.
3 injections = 3 shots. If your kid screams during one shot, imagine THREE, even if their outcome is a numbing. The shots themselves are painful!
A good mohel is usually done with the procedure, start to finish, in between 5 and 10 seconds. That's less time than it takes to administer the injections. Yes, there is usually a little more blood at a bris (only a little), but the drawing of blood is (like it or not) a necessity for the procedure according to Jewish law. The covenant was forged over blood. (If you like movies, you can see how a covenant is forged over blood in Kevin Costner's "Robin Hood" when he swears to avenge his father's murder in the first quarter of the film - I used to have a link to youtube here, but the video was taken down.)
NUMBING [See this posting - in which I revised what I wrote below - AB, 2012]
I happen to be a fan of numbing the foreskin, but not with injections. I prefer a topical analgesic with a dose of 30% lidocaine + 70% acid mantel cream base, to be applied to the penis at least a half hour before the bris. It doesn't hurt the baby at all in its application, and it does the same thing for the small amount of time it is helpful. Most of the discomfort at the bris comes from being handled, not from the pain of the bris (proof is that the baby usually stops crying once he is no longer being touched).
And even without it, the bris speed is, as mentioned above, its own form of anesthesia.
In Conclusion
If I were not Jewish, would I circumcise my son? Knowing what I know about circumcision, I probably would. My wife would probably not, just because she would not want to subject the baby to a painful experience - even a fleeting one.
As we are Jewish, we agree that we do it because the Torah commands it of us.
I don't think it is a barbaric custom, and I think those who do it properly have a tremendous sense of satisfaction that the baby is well and that the chapter of bris is behind them.
Consider the method and you have your answer. (Clamps, injections, drawn out, hospital v home, physician, resident, mohel, surgery v bris)
And hopefully, if you call me, you'll find what you're looking for in a mohel and you'll uncover the answers to more questions through our conversations.
It wasn't my forum, so I kept quiet. I have a lot to say on the subject, but it's for a different place. My blog, for example.
Firstly, I don't believe the bris turns people off from Judaism. It's a big world out there. People who are unhappy with Judaism will find any excuse they want.
As far as circumcision being barbaric, that statement is a hard sell in the United States when over 60% of the newborn male population is circumcised - either routinely with a clamp (with or without a local anesthetic), in the O.R. under general anesthesia, or as part of a religious or holistic ceremony - and until relatively recently, over 90% of the newborn male population of this country was circumcised.
The American Choice
In American culture, people have all kinds of reasons for circumcising their sons. I learned about this recently when our son was born, when my wife and I were handed a pamphlet about circumcision which boiled the choices down to two: "to circumcise or not to circumcise; that is the question."
They have a number of reasons why people may opt to circumcise.
* Medical suggestions that urinary tract infections, penile cancer, and other penile illnesses (including STDs) are less common and the penis is less susceptible when circumcised.
* It is easier to clean.
* Family - father and brothers are circumcised
* Cultural - everyone else does it
* Aesthetics - You like the circumcised "look" better than not.
* And, of course, religious reasons.
Reasons not to circumcise include:
* It is healthy tissue which guards a very sensitive area of the body
* No medical benefits if the child is taught how to clean under the foreskin
* Why subject a child to such surgery, which may be unnecessary?
The "barbaric" nature of circumcision is not raised, even if people may personally feel it to be such.
Why Jews Circumcise Their Sons
While the religious reason is most obvious, the best verbal explanation I have heard of late was in the documentary "Partly Private" - a film made by a secular Israeli woman living in NY, who was researching whether or not to circumcise her as-yet-unborn son (they had circumcised his older brother, but were displeased with the experience).
When a number of her Israeli friends gathered to be a sounding board for her deliberations, one of her friends who had become observant said, "If you are deliberating circumcision because you think it is 'barbaric' - you are right. Don't circumcise. But if you have faith in God and understand that this is what God asked of the Jewish people, as this is a mark of the covenant He forged with Abraham, then this is not barbaric. This is an act of love: for your child, for your people, for your God."
He is so right. The reason we circumcise is FAITH.
But it's still BARBARIC, Right?
It really depends on your perspective.
Most medical authorities who deal strictly from a medical perspective (in other words, who do not have an agenda), will argue the benefits versus the risks, the pros versus the cons. Very few will call it a barbaric procedure.
Most people who call it barbaric have an agenda, have an obsession, and find it hard to not think about how life (read "sex") would be different if the parents had not chosen to "make the cut" on them.
And they'll usually show a picture of a red, screaming baby to show the kind of pain a baby feels when undergoing a circumcision.
Before we continue, it is important to understand that there are different kinds of circumcision procedures, and all kinds of situations that can make a baby cry and scream bloody murder.
Setting the record straight
Babies cry. They scream. They can be in all kinds of discomfort. And sometimes there is not much we can do to ease their pain.
Babies who have blood tests, shots, raw diaper rashes, or sometimes just have colic may very well be inconsolable. Would you not have your baby have the necessary blood test or innoculation just so your baby won't ever cry?
Sometimes benefits outweigh the downsides. And sometimes not.
There are some who will argue that babies nerve endings are underdeveloped and so they don't feel the circumcision.
This is a lie.
Babies absolutely feel pain. But they only feel the pain to which they are subjected - and that, only if nothing is done to numb them from the pain. Which brings us to two points worthy of consideration when considering the difference between what is known as "routine circumcision" and a bris (A circ in an O.R. is a completely different story, because once the baby is under general anasthesia, all bets of pain and discomfort are off.)
SPEED OF PROCEDURE and NUMBING
Click this line to read the article in which it appears: "A mohel does not usually use anesthetic, because his anesthetic is the speed with which he does the circumcision. "
Most routine circumcisions are done elaborately, painstakingly, with a clamp that crushes the skin in order to achieve hemostasis. Since the skin is essentially dead when it is excised, there is usually no bleeding by the time the last skin is removed. Kudos.
Meanwhile, the baby has been in excruciating pain throughout the procedure (which usually takes between 5 and 20 minutes), unless the circumciser has used a penile block (3 injections around the circumference of the penis, along the lower base of the abdomen), to numb the area during the procedure.
3 injections = 3 shots. If your kid screams during one shot, imagine THREE, even if their outcome is a numbing. The shots themselves are painful!
A good mohel is usually done with the procedure, start to finish, in between 5 and 10 seconds. That's less time than it takes to administer the injections. Yes, there is usually a little more blood at a bris (only a little), but the drawing of blood is (like it or not) a necessity for the procedure according to Jewish law. The covenant was forged over blood. (If you like movies, you can see how a covenant is forged over blood in Kevin Costner's "Robin Hood" when he swears to avenge his father's murder in the first quarter of the film - I used to have a link to youtube here, but the video was taken down.)
NUMBING [See this posting - in which I revised what I wrote below - AB, 2012]
I happen to be a fan of numbing the foreskin, but not with injections. I prefer a topical analgesic with a dose of 30% lidocaine + 70% acid mantel cream base, to be applied to the penis at least a half hour before the bris. It doesn't hurt the baby at all in its application, and it does the same thing for the small amount of time it is helpful. Most of the discomfort at the bris comes from being handled, not from the pain of the bris (proof is that the baby usually stops crying once he is no longer being touched).
And even without it, the bris speed is, as mentioned above, its own form of anesthesia.
In Conclusion
If I were not Jewish, would I circumcise my son? Knowing what I know about circumcision, I probably would. My wife would probably not, just because she would not want to subject the baby to a painful experience - even a fleeting one.
As we are Jewish, we agree that we do it because the Torah commands it of us.
I don't think it is a barbaric custom, and I think those who do it properly have a tremendous sense of satisfaction that the baby is well and that the chapter of bris is behind them.
Consider the method and you have your answer. (Clamps, injections, drawn out, hospital v home, physician, resident, mohel, surgery v bris)
And hopefully, if you call me, you'll find what you're looking for in a mohel and you'll uncover the answers to more questions through our conversations.
Monday, November 2, 2009
When The Mohel's Wife Gives Birth to a Boy
My wife gave birth to a little boy on Shabbos morning! Really!
We are so excited and so blessed.
When our oldest was born, a girl, people asked me if I was disappointed. Of course I wasn't disappointed. (In the fifty percent chance of the child being a boy, I was excited about the prospect of a bris until the doctor said "It's a girl," and she was (and is) beautiful, healthy, and the joy of our lives.) Becoming a father is one of the most altering moments in a man's life. Any remaining ego in one's marriage disappears as your life becomes one of complete focus on doing everything for the sake of the child.
At the same time, I called my mohel teacher, Rabbi Sasson, to tell him my wife gave birth to a girl and he said, ".תמיד זה כחה. למוהלים נולדות בנות" - "It's always that way. Mohels always have daughters."
Two Things Everyone is Saying
1. Everyone's a comedian. "I can recommend a good mohel." "Who's going to be doing the bris?" "Have you called the mohel yet?" "We had a great experience with so-and-so. You might want to call him." "I guess we all know who the mohel is!"
Do people make such a fuss over the identity of the mohel before their other friends' brisses?
2. Many people ask: "Will you be doing the bris yourself?" I don't know what the source of this question is... unless people are thinking that doctors don't operate on their kids or immediate family.
To answer the question - Yes. I will be doing the bris.
The Ideal Mitzvah of Bris
The reason I will be doing the bris is because that is the ideal mitzvah. Every father is supposed to do the bris himself. (Genesis 17:10-12: It's worth reading the whole chapter) But since most fathers are not trained to do it, it is much safer to have a mohel do it.
In this case, since the father is a mohel, the father will do the bris.
The first baby to be circumcised in the Jewish tradition was Yitzchak, who was circumcised by his father Abraham on the eighth day of his life. (See chapter 21, verse 4)
In an ironic twist, our son was born on the day we read the Torah portion describing the origin of the covenant - the Bris Milah (Genesis 17), and his bris will, please God, take place on the morning when we read the Torah portion describing the birth and bris of Yitzchak.
Pretty cool, no?
A number of years ago, my wife wrote an article about being the mohel's wife, and her impressions of anticipating the birth of our first child.
Now we will joyfully bring our son through this reaffirmation of our commitment to the covenant, as we continue to celebrate his arrival and the joy he brings to us, our family, our friends, our community, and the collective nation of Israel.
We are so excited and so blessed.
When our oldest was born, a girl, people asked me if I was disappointed. Of course I wasn't disappointed. (In the fifty percent chance of the child being a boy, I was excited about the prospect of a bris until the doctor said "It's a girl," and she was (and is) beautiful, healthy, and the joy of our lives.) Becoming a father is one of the most altering moments in a man's life. Any remaining ego in one's marriage disappears as your life becomes one of complete focus on doing everything for the sake of the child.
At the same time, I called my mohel teacher, Rabbi Sasson, to tell him my wife gave birth to a girl and he said, ".תמיד זה כחה. למוהלים נולדות בנות" - "It's always that way. Mohels always have daughters."
Two Things Everyone is Saying
1. Everyone's a comedian. "I can recommend a good mohel." "Who's going to be doing the bris?" "Have you called the mohel yet?" "We had a great experience with so-and-so. You might want to call him." "I guess we all know who the mohel is!"
Do people make such a fuss over the identity of the mohel before their other friends' brisses?
2. Many people ask: "Will you be doing the bris yourself?" I don't know what the source of this question is... unless people are thinking that doctors don't operate on their kids or immediate family.
To answer the question - Yes. I will be doing the bris.
The Ideal Mitzvah of Bris
The reason I will be doing the bris is because that is the ideal mitzvah. Every father is supposed to do the bris himself. (Genesis 17:10-12: It's worth reading the whole chapter) But since most fathers are not trained to do it, it is much safer to have a mohel do it.
In this case, since the father is a mohel, the father will do the bris.
The first baby to be circumcised in the Jewish tradition was Yitzchak, who was circumcised by his father Abraham on the eighth day of his life. (See chapter 21, verse 4)
In an ironic twist, our son was born on the day we read the Torah portion describing the origin of the covenant - the Bris Milah (Genesis 17), and his bris will, please God, take place on the morning when we read the Torah portion describing the birth and bris of Yitzchak.
Pretty cool, no?
A number of years ago, my wife wrote an article about being the mohel's wife, and her impressions of anticipating the birth of our first child.
Now we will joyfully bring our son through this reaffirmation of our commitment to the covenant, as we continue to celebrate his arrival and the joy he brings to us, our family, our friends, our community, and the collective nation of Israel.
Monday, October 12, 2009
The Danger of Arrogance
Before you read this, please note: I share this conversation with you not to scare you, but to help you become aware of the possibilities out there, and to know there are ways to avoid many of the problems discussed here. My suggestions appear at the end of this entry, so please make sure to read through to the end.
Over the weekend I had an interesting conversation with a pediatrician friend of mine. Our discussion drifted towards the topic of this blog (circumcision) and he shared with me some horrific stories of circumcisions that came to his attention after the fact, when there was a problem.
Mild Problems
In cases where the baby is a bleeder, or the mohel needs help in containing the bleeding, the baby either needs to be sutured (a couple of stitches), cauterized, or, in some cases, better pressure needs to be applied to seal the wound. In some cases, different products that are often used to help coagulation can also be applied to stop the bleeding, without the need for the stitches or cauterization.
Thank God, I have never needed to send a baby to the hospital: I ask about hemophilia in advance, and I was trained very well in the skill of bandaging.
Different Problems
There is a small margin of difference between removing too little skin and removing too much skin.
Too little
Pros: easily correctable, no long term damage, might not need a correction
Cons: Baby may look uncircumcised for a long time, may need to be corrected, Baby has to go through two procedures (One person told me a story of how his son had a second Bris because the first was considered meaningless.)
Too much
Pros: Baby will definitely look circumcised. There won't be a need for any cosmetic adjustments
Cons: circumcision scar will be enormous. Sex (as an adult) will be a less pleasurable (perhaps more painful) experience.
All in all, these are a matter of debate regarding the pros and cons. Obviously a perfect circumcision every time would be preferred. But as all mohels (like all doctors) are human and are by definition not perfect, the guarantee of perfection would be dishonest. Instead, we do the best we can.
Below, I will explain steps that can be taken to help avoid these problems.
[See this posting about the different methods for how to do a bris]
Bigger Problems
My pediatrician friend described to me examples of children he examined who had been damaged by the mohel. "Damage" does not refer to brisses which are not 100% cosmetically beautiful - those are common enough and are no cause for concern. The penis generally heals nicely and functions normally.
But when the glans is nicked in the process (through the removal of the foreskin, a bris exposes the glans to the edge of the corona), or cut or [shudder] amputated, this is real damage. If an artery that can not be controlled through simple mohel techniques is somehow cut, we have a real problem.
The DANGER of ARROGANCE
Most mohels are trained by expert mohels in Israel or the US. If they follow the instructions of their teachers and do not look for shortcuts to make the process quicker, they can do no damage to the babies on whom they operate.
But if they think they know better, and worse, declare that they are the only ones who know how to circumcise and that others do not do "kosher brisses" because of the methods they employ to protect the baby - this is not only arrogant. It is stupid.
Methods ALL Mohels Should Employ
To reduce the negative possibile outcomes of a bris significantly, there are two steps I highly recommend. Most mohels already do the first in one form or another. Very few do the second. They are:
1. Use a Shield - a device that protects the glans during the incision. Whether one uses a traditional shield, or a clamping device such as the Bronstein/Mogen clamp, if the glans is pushed out of the way when the shield or clamp is applied, it will not be damaged in any way by the circumcision. (There are FDA problems and halakhic (Jewish law) problems with some clamps)
2. Outline the edge of the foreskin with a marker before beginning the procedure - This will reduce the "margin of error" significantly, and will assure a significantly better chance of having a clean and even incision all around.
The Arrogance
If a mohel decides he can do a better job freehand (using just his fingers to hold the foreskin, and a knife to excise, without using a shield to guide his incision and protect the glans - see method 3 here), I maintain that he is a fool and should not be allowed to operate.
To suggest that "God wants it to be done this way" is arrogance of the highest order.
I am not suggesting that I know what God wants any better than someone else. As a Jew who believes in the Torah, I believe God wants us to circumcise our sons, and that there are a few other requirements as to what is supposed to take place during a bris.
But I also believe that we are to take every precaution to assure that the chances of danger to the child beyond the inherent danger of removing skin tissue (the definition of the bris circumcision) be reduced to an absolute minimum.
I repeat (and add):
EVERY mohel should use a device that guards the glans
EVERY mohel should mark the edge of the foreskin before beginning
EVERY mohel should wear sterile gloves
EVERY mohel should maintain a sterile field during the bris
EVERY mohel should not allow any part of his body to come in direct contact with the open wound during or after the bris.
With proper monitoring and education, we can minimize the negative bris stories as we take charge in taking good care of our sons.
Over the weekend I had an interesting conversation with a pediatrician friend of mine. Our discussion drifted towards the topic of this blog (circumcision) and he shared with me some horrific stories of circumcisions that came to his attention after the fact, when there was a problem.
Mild Problems
In cases where the baby is a bleeder, or the mohel needs help in containing the bleeding, the baby either needs to be sutured (a couple of stitches), cauterized, or, in some cases, better pressure needs to be applied to seal the wound. In some cases, different products that are often used to help coagulation can also be applied to stop the bleeding, without the need for the stitches or cauterization.
Thank God, I have never needed to send a baby to the hospital: I ask about hemophilia in advance, and I was trained very well in the skill of bandaging.
Different Problems
There is a small margin of difference between removing too little skin and removing too much skin.
Too little
Pros: easily correctable, no long term damage, might not need a correction
Cons: Baby may look uncircumcised for a long time, may need to be corrected, Baby has to go through two procedures (One person told me a story of how his son had a second Bris because the first was considered meaningless.)
Too much
Pros: Baby will definitely look circumcised. There won't be a need for any cosmetic adjustments
Cons: circumcision scar will be enormous. Sex (as an adult) will be a less pleasurable (perhaps more painful) experience.
All in all, these are a matter of debate regarding the pros and cons. Obviously a perfect circumcision every time would be preferred. But as all mohels (like all doctors) are human and are by definition not perfect, the guarantee of perfection would be dishonest. Instead, we do the best we can.
Below, I will explain steps that can be taken to help avoid these problems.
[See this posting about the different methods for how to do a bris]
Bigger Problems
My pediatrician friend described to me examples of children he examined who had been damaged by the mohel. "Damage" does not refer to brisses which are not 100% cosmetically beautiful - those are common enough and are no cause for concern. The penis generally heals nicely and functions normally.
But when the glans is nicked in the process (through the removal of the foreskin, a bris exposes the glans to the edge of the corona), or cut or [shudder] amputated, this is real damage. If an artery that can not be controlled through simple mohel techniques is somehow cut, we have a real problem.
The DANGER of ARROGANCE
Most mohels are trained by expert mohels in Israel or the US. If they follow the instructions of their teachers and do not look for shortcuts to make the process quicker, they can do no damage to the babies on whom they operate.
But if they think they know better, and worse, declare that they are the only ones who know how to circumcise and that others do not do "kosher brisses" because of the methods they employ to protect the baby - this is not only arrogant. It is stupid.
Methods ALL Mohels Should Employ
To reduce the negative possibile outcomes of a bris significantly, there are two steps I highly recommend. Most mohels already do the first in one form or another. Very few do the second. They are:
1. Use a Shield - a device that protects the glans during the incision. Whether one uses a traditional shield, or a clamping device such as the Bronstein/Mogen clamp, if the glans is pushed out of the way when the shield or clamp is applied, it will not be damaged in any way by the circumcision. (There are FDA problems and halakhic (Jewish law) problems with some clamps)
2. Outline the edge of the foreskin with a marker before beginning the procedure - This will reduce the "margin of error" significantly, and will assure a significantly better chance of having a clean and even incision all around.
The Arrogance
If a mohel decides he can do a better job freehand (using just his fingers to hold the foreskin, and a knife to excise, without using a shield to guide his incision and protect the glans - see method 3 here), I maintain that he is a fool and should not be allowed to operate.
To suggest that "God wants it to be done this way" is arrogance of the highest order.
I am not suggesting that I know what God wants any better than someone else. As a Jew who believes in the Torah, I believe God wants us to circumcise our sons, and that there are a few other requirements as to what is supposed to take place during a bris.
But I also believe that we are to take every precaution to assure that the chances of danger to the child beyond the inherent danger of removing skin tissue (the definition of the bris circumcision) be reduced to an absolute minimum.
I repeat (and add):
EVERY mohel should use a device that guards the glans
EVERY mohel should mark the edge of the foreskin before beginning
EVERY mohel should wear sterile gloves
EVERY mohel should maintain a sterile field during the bris
EVERY mohel should not allow any part of his body to come in direct contact with the open wound during or after the bris.
With proper monitoring and education, we can minimize the negative bris stories as we take charge in taking good care of our sons.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Different Types of Mohels
There are many excellent mohels in this country. There are many fine mohels as well.
In Israel these differences are marked by the title "Mohel Mumcheh" (מוהל מומחה) (expert) and the standard "Mohel Musmach" (מוהל מוסמך) (certified or ordained to be a mohel). The differences between them vary and depend upon certain qualifications such as advanced study and examination, and years and volume of experience.
Just to bring an example, on this list of certified over 350 mohels in the Jerusalem area, very few of them are "experts." It's kind of like going to the top doctor who is less accessible when just about any other doctor will do the same job for you.
Trifecta: Ceremony, Care (Results), Complications (a.k.a 'The Triple C')
These three components will help you determine the kind of mohel you want. Unless a mohel is right out of mohel school, any experienced mohel has done hundreds, if not thousands of procedures. So you need not worry about your son being horribly damaged. As a pediatric surgeon I know has said, "We fix more circumcisions done by OBGYNs than anything else. With mohels, we'll usually hesitate to do anything to their work because they generally do a really good job. The worst case scenario, if anything, is a slight cosmetic touch up. Which is extremely rare and usually unnecessary."
Taking his lead, let's look to other criteria, because just about any mohel you will hear about is probably a fine, good, or excellent mohel whom you can trust your son's care to. A pediatrician I consulted with many times (particularly to determine if the bris needs to be delayed due to the baby's health) told me that many brisses he sees (in his neighborhood in NY there are many mohels so he saw the gamut of "results") look awful in the first few days, but they usually heal quite nicely and end up looking fine. [Before I moved to Florida, he called me to say how much he'd miss me and that I was the first mohel name he gave to clients who asked for a suggestion.]
Ceremony
Care (and Results)
Complications
In Israel these differences are marked by the title "Mohel Mumcheh" (מוהל מומחה) (expert) and the standard "Mohel Musmach" (מוהל מוסמך) (certified or ordained to be a mohel). The differences between them vary and depend upon certain qualifications such as advanced study and examination, and years and volume of experience.
Just to bring an example, on this list of certified over 350 mohels in the Jerusalem area, very few of them are "experts." It's kind of like going to the top doctor who is less accessible when just about any other doctor will do the same job for you.
Trifecta: Ceremony, Care (Results), Complications (a.k.a 'The Triple C')
These three components will help you determine the kind of mohel you want. Unless a mohel is right out of mohel school, any experienced mohel has done hundreds, if not thousands of procedures. So you need not worry about your son being horribly damaged. As a pediatric surgeon I know has said, "We fix more circumcisions done by OBGYNs than anything else. With mohels, we'll usually hesitate to do anything to their work because they generally do a really good job. The worst case scenario, if anything, is a slight cosmetic touch up. Which is extremely rare and usually unnecessary."
Taking his lead, let's look to other criteria, because just about any mohel you will hear about is probably a fine, good, or excellent mohel whom you can trust your son's care to. A pediatrician I consulted with many times (particularly to determine if the bris needs to be delayed due to the baby's health) told me that many brisses he sees (in his neighborhood in NY there are many mohels so he saw the gamut of "results") look awful in the first few days, but they usually heal quite nicely and end up looking fine. [Before I moved to Florida, he called me to say how much he'd miss me and that I was the first mohel name he gave to clients who asked for a suggestion.]
Ceremony
- Do you want a simple ceremony? A flashy ceremony?
- Do you want the mohel to be the star of the show? Or do you want the baby to be the center of attention?
- Do you want your family involved? Do you want the mohel to do everything?
- Do you want to do the bris your way? The mohel's way? Guided by Jewish tradition? (These do not have to conflict)
- Do you have customs based on your family's most ethnic point of origin (as in North Africa, Middle East, or Eastern Europe - not North America, Middle America, or the Eastern Seaboard)?
- Do you want explanations of the ceremony? Significance explained, lessons taught, stories told?
- Do you want bare bones, no talking except what is written in the prayer book?
Care (and Results)
- Does the mohel see the baby before the bris? Does he make a follow up visit after the bris?
- Is he sensitive to the baby? Is he sensitive to the mother?
- Does he wear gloves and have a sterile technique - see here and here ?
- Does he put you at ease (see here too)? Is he preoccupied thinking only about what he has to do?
- Does he inform you how to care for the baby after the bris?
- Does he tell you what to do in an emergency situation?
- What is his track record? Was his work ever revisited by surgeons? (for most mohels the answer may be yes. This is a simple matter of statistics. Out of 100 brisses, at least one may have an issue. Either he won't tell you, or, and this may very well be the case, he does not know because the parents did not tell him about it)?
- How long does it take to heal and what are the cosmetic results like (in general)?
Complications
- What kinds of complications can or do arise after a bris?
- How does a mohel deal with them?
- What if aesthetics or other matters come up or become apparent a few months down the road? How does the mohel deal with these circumstances and questions?
- I was trained by the government supervisor in Israel, Rabbi Mordechai Sasson. Before retiring he was one the five "expert" mohels on the list linked above.
- The number of brisses I have performed is in the 4 digits - which is an explanation I likely won't be updating for awhile (will need to get to 10,000 for that!) - in my over 25 years as a mohel (updated this info in 2024, as my training ended in 1998)
- Many parents have called me to do a bris for them a second time (on a different son of theirs, of course), a third time, and even four times! Some sets of grandparents have watched me circumcise anywhere from three to a dozen of their grandsons. This may include babies from three or more (sets) of their own children.
- I am not flashy, I am very respectful, and I guarantee the highest standards of sterility in the care of your son.
- I recognize that every baby is different, not all babies have the same circumstance of anatomy - and underneath the foreskin there can be all sorts of hidden surprises which may often determine a different result. Not all brisses end up looking the same.
- I have (thank God) never had a baby go to a doctor or hospital due to bleeding issues after a bris while under my care.
- I have (thank God) never had a baby develop an infection as a result of the bris.
- I view my role very seriously, and come to a bris with a sense of trepidation over the seriousness of the moment and the Jewish, traditional significance attached to the bris.
- On an equal scale, I value the trust you put in me as a practitioner, to give your son the care he deserves for undergoing this procedure, in fulfillment of the commandment first given to Abraham and concretized by Moses on Mt. Sinai. (If not for these last reasons, I would never serve in this capacity.)
I hope your research brings you back to this site and look forward to talking with you when your son is born.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Mohel in Hollywood (Florida), will travel too
There's a nice ring to being a mohel in Hollywood.
There are a couple of mohels I know of who carry the moniker "Mohel to the Stars." One is in California, and the other is in New York.
But I live in Hollywood, FLORIDA, and other than everyone else's children, the only stars I see on a regular basis are the ones visible in the clear night sky. Which you can't see in New York (I lived there many years) or in smog-filled LA (I'm told). Maybe you can in LA. I don't know.
Though I'm based in Hollywood and don't do too many celebrity brisses, I am ready to travel. Other than the brisses I've done in Florida, I've done brisses in farther places (for an East Coaster) such as Seattle, WA, Omaha, NE, many places in NY, NJ, PA, and CT, as well as San Juan, Puerto Rico. Not to mention the number I've done in Israel.
It's always exciting, always new, always an honor and privilege to serve, and to meet parents going through the birth and bris of their son, so soon after his arrival. It is also amazing to watch, no matter how old or young the parents, no matter how experienced as parents or inexperienced, how the arrival of a new baby (boy or girl) is remarkably a similar experience for all. Joy, elation, disbelief, appreciation for the miracles of God, hope for the future, and anticipation of the rocky yet joyous road ahead.
I've done the brisses of many "first child"s, many "first son"s (after one or more daughters), as well as many siblings (parents who called me again), and, in a few cases, the third or fourth or fifth or sixth son in a family. Some families come from different cities, and some families are looking for a different experience than what they've had in the past.
I look forward to participating in your son's bris when the time comes, and hope you will have a similarly rewarding experience with me, as I know I will have with you.
Even though I don't carry a card which reads "mohel to the stars."
There are a couple of mohels I know of who carry the moniker "Mohel to the Stars." One is in California, and the other is in New York.
But I live in Hollywood, FLORIDA, and other than everyone else's children, the only stars I see on a regular basis are the ones visible in the clear night sky. Which you can't see in New York (I lived there many years) or in smog-filled LA (I'm told). Maybe you can in LA. I don't know.
Though I'm based in Hollywood and don't do too many celebrity brisses, I am ready to travel. Other than the brisses I've done in Florida, I've done brisses in farther places (for an East Coaster) such as Seattle, WA, Omaha, NE, many places in NY, NJ, PA, and CT, as well as San Juan, Puerto Rico. Not to mention the number I've done in Israel.
It's always exciting, always new, always an honor and privilege to serve, and to meet parents going through the birth and bris of their son, so soon after his arrival. It is also amazing to watch, no matter how old or young the parents, no matter how experienced as parents or inexperienced, how the arrival of a new baby (boy or girl) is remarkably a similar experience for all. Joy, elation, disbelief, appreciation for the miracles of God, hope for the future, and anticipation of the rocky yet joyous road ahead.
I've done the brisses of many "first child"s, many "first son"s (after one or more daughters), as well as many siblings (parents who called me again), and, in a few cases, the third or fourth or fifth or sixth son in a family. Some families come from different cities, and some families are looking for a different experience than what they've had in the past.
I look forward to participating in your son's bris when the time comes, and hope you will have a similarly rewarding experience with me, as I know I will have with you.
Even though I don't carry a card which reads "mohel to the stars."
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Mohel, Moyel, Moyl, Moyle, Moil, Moiel?
What is the proper way to pronounce the profession of the person who circumcises Jewish boys?
It really depends on what your background is.
The Hebrew term for circumcision is מילה (Milah) - pronounced "me-la."
One who does Milah is called a מוהל (Mohel) - pronounced "moe-hell"
Those who speak Yiddish as a first language will typically take the long "o" sound, and turn it into a classically Jewish sound of "oy." For them, a "mohel" is now pronounced "moy-ill" because the soft "h" is dropped in the process.
Since most American Jews stem from European ancestry, where Yiddish was the first language, the term "Moyel" became popular and it stuck.
In his classic book about Judaism, "This is My God," author Herman Wouk wrote (1950s) that most Jews today need only go back four or five generations to discover observant Jews. In 2009 2010, I suppose that would translate to seven or eight generations. Through it all, assimilation, integration, emergence of different types of Jewish experiences, one thing has pretty much remained a constant: bris milah a.k.a. circumcision.
And so the Yiddish name for Mohel ("Moyel") has remained popular as well, because that's the way "it's always" been pronounced.
So whether you call us circumcisers "mohel"s or "moyel"s or something else, we look forward to answering the call and taking care of your son and your family's needs.
It really depends on what your background is.
The Hebrew term for circumcision is מילה (Milah) - pronounced "me-la."
One who does Milah is called a מוהל (Mohel) - pronounced "moe-hell"
Those who speak Yiddish as a first language will typically take the long "o" sound, and turn it into a classically Jewish sound of "oy." For them, a "mohel" is now pronounced "moy-ill" because the soft "h" is dropped in the process.
Since most American Jews stem from European ancestry, where Yiddish was the first language, the term "Moyel" became popular and it stuck.
In his classic book about Judaism, "This is My God," author Herman Wouk wrote (1950s) that most Jews today need only go back four or five generations to discover observant Jews. In 2009 2010, I suppose that would translate to seven or eight generations. Through it all, assimilation, integration, emergence of different types of Jewish experiences, one thing has pretty much remained a constant: bris milah a.k.a. circumcision.
And so the Yiddish name for Mohel ("Moyel") has remained popular as well, because that's the way "it's always" been pronounced.
So whether you call us circumcisers "mohel"s or "moyel"s or something else, we look forward to answering the call and taking care of your son and your family's needs.
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