Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Family and Friends Focused

Exciting and Emotionally Stressful

The birth of a baby is an extremely exciting time for a family.

It can also be stressful, and emotionally challenging.

* New Moms may be dealing with post-partum depression, nursing challenges, and the stresses that come with bringing a new baby home
* Every aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, neighbor, friend wants to know "what they can do to help."
* A boy baby translates to a bris to prepare for in a week. Sometimes there is a party Friday night as well.
* The phone calls don't stop, and sometimes all you (new mom and dad) want is a chance to enjoy the baby for yourselves and get some rest when you can.

Planning Ahead

Sometimes it is helpful - BEFORE baby comes - to think things out, to decide who will do what once baby arrives.

In particular, when you know the baby is a boy and more family will be coming to visit and more expediently, it is important to have a plan of who will be playing what roles in that very intense first week.

YOU should decide whose parents (husband or wife) will stay in your home, who will do the cooking, who will be doing the cleaning. Getting help does a lot to relieve the stress of all that is going on. Whether it be a baby nurse or cleaning help, strategize beforehand what fits into your budget, or if your parents are willing to pitch in to make things easier for you.

Delegating

Sometimes, when people ask "how can I help?" they mean to do menial tasks. But if you have a plan for the things you need (who will do the shopping, carpooling - if you have other kids, other errands), people are pleasantly surprised and so willing to pitch in if you have specific tasks for them to do. Remember, if they offer they usually mean it. And if you have something for them to do when they offer, they'll usually come through amazingly.

If you have to call them when you decide you need them, you'll probably never make the phone call.

For the Bris

As far as the bris goes, give me a call and we'll talk. There are things you need to prepare for the ceremony and aftercare, but those are things others can do for you. The lists of supplies are at the top of the page here. Give them to your parents to do. Send them to the pharmacy and/or baby store.

We'll schedule a time to talk, to meet (if you live at a reasonable distance away), and to plan or strategize.

I hope the bris will be the least stressful for you due to our conversations, other than the natural stress that comes with concern over your son's wellbeing during and post his circumcision.

I can't do too much about any natural reservations you may have about the ordeal (more on this in a different post), but hopefully we can come to a reasonable understanding.

Mazal Tov!

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