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Welcome to -  the most comprehensive and up to date mohel blog on the internet . My name is Avi Billet, and I am so ...

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Recent articles about Bris and Circumcision

I have a Facebook page to which I keep an intermittent commentary about some of my brisses, as well as a social commentary about bris milah and circumcision, when the topic is written about for newspapers and websites. Seems there's no end to this conversation.

Anyway, here are some of the articles I've posted recently on Facebook.

With the comments I shared about them in Bold

Poor writing and odd reporting, but this is something I have heard anecdotally from the touch-up people (pediatric urologists and pediatric surgeons) for a long time. 
And to the title I will add the word "Reputable" - as in "Performed by a Reputable Mohel." Carrying the title doesn't make a person perfect and not subject to human frailties.
[I am humored by the photo, which shows a "forbidden" Mogen clamp, something "supposedly" no mohels in Israel use.]


We're doing this anyway. But here are different sides to the circumcision debate. 

A horrific article in the Forward. 
Every excuse the mohel gives comets from the vilest, most bigoted place. And it ignores the reality that this is AT MOST a custom that really has NO PLACE in the 21st century. 
Do metzitzah with a gauze-stuffed tube/pipette and quit legitimizing your irrational and WRONG behavior under the guise of tradition. Inauthentic Judaism at its finest turning people away.

************************************,7340,L-4504242,00.html - 'Intactivists' protest against circumcision in Washington

Oy vey

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Dear Husband

I have written several notes to the father about what is expected of him before and during the bris.
Here is one about the things the father needs to do, and one about whether/when/if the father opts to make the incision himself. Now I venture out of mohel role for a moment, as I talk to you as a friend and a father, who was a husband before being a father, and more than likely before becoming your friend.

Part II - a note to grandparents (please share with parents or in-laws, but only if it will be helpful to your situation

Dear Husband,
Congratulations on the birth of your new son! I am sure this is a moment you have been waiting for - for a long time. You have a boy, a son who will carry your name, to whom you can teach everything you want, from sports, to interests, to Torah, to the great upbringing you will undoubtedly provide for him.

But this is not a letter to you, the father. This is a letter to you, the husband.

Look at the woman who just gave birth to this child. Remember that for nine months she endured a pregnancy and all that goes with it. Whether she loved her pregnancy or hated it, whether she had cravings or did not, whether she was more beautiful than ever or pregnancy did things to her (ie morning sickness, bloating, etc) you could have never imagined, whether she got pregnant easily or it was an ordeal (which you both went through), remember that she went through all of this for YOU.

You have a mitzvah to have a child. She does not. She may WANT to have a child, but it is her choice. She becomes the vessel through which you fulfill your obligation to "be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth."

Conception takes a second. Pregnancy is a long ordeal. Your job is simple. Hers is much harder.

And remember who will more likely experience more sleepless nights (especially if she is nursing)? Who is likely to be more involved in the raising of your son?

Please don't think I am accusing any father of shirking his responsibilities as a father. 

But don't forget your responsibility as a husband. Appreciate your wife, the mother of your child. Love her. Cherish her. Honor her. Respect her. Be patient with her.

Birth is a stressful time. The bris could be a very stressful time. It requires a different kind of resilience to make it through this time period with no regrets.

I am so happy to report that I have seen incredible acts of kindness and chesed and concern and care displayed between husband and wife and vice versa in the days when I am present in the home, shortly after the birth (before bris), at the bris, and certainly after the bris.

At the same time (and this is why I write to you, husband of Amazing Woman), I have seen too many people get into regrettable arguments (in my presence!) over what are usually (in my opinion) the silliest of things - about the honors for the bris, who will be involved, etc; about who will change the diaper, who will get the diapers or the wipes, whose turn it is, etc; over who contributes more to this marriage...

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! And I'll add an "oy vey" for good measure! Even if you need to have the fights, please PLEASE have them AFTER I leave. 

But I wonder if it is even necessary, dear husband. Because you should be looking for EVERY opportunity to give your wife a break, to not have to make her climb stairs, to not have her run around looking for things, to not have to change every diaper. And if she is forgetful or if she gets impatient, or if things don't go exactly your way, let it go. The only pass I'll give you is if the baby is exclusively nursing (a move I applaud and encourage, for the baby's sake - as long as Mommy can handle it), you don't have to feed him.

Remember why you got into this in the first place - marriage, baby, the whole megillah. The baby should enhance your love, admiration, respect for and appreciation of one another. He should not bring about unnecessary stress and tension between you.

As to how you deal with your in-laws? For that you're on your own. :)

I care about your dear and precious wife who has done more for you in the last week months of your lives than you could ever do for her. God bless her. And you should too.

All the best
Avi Billet

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Inauthenticity of "Authenticity"

A mohel in NY called me recently because he was watching a bris on YouTube at which I was the mohel, and he had a comment about the timing of my putting on my gloves. His observation was duly noted, but I had to inform him that I wear two pairs of gloves, the top one protecting the lower pair in the moments leading up to the bris.

I find it much easier and quicker to take off a pair of gloves, rather than put them on, at the moment I am ready to begin.

Apparently my back was 'facing' the camera. He rewatched it and was able to discern, by the sound and the pause, that what I said was accurate. A few minutes later, he texted me that he "got it," and we shared a few tidbits about the trade.

Please understand - I was so appreciative of the phone call! Because here is a mohel who understands that sterility is no joke, and the appearance of sterility must meet with a reality of sterility.

So this was a breath of fresh air. Because the truth is, there is a world of mohels and their legitimizers who believe that the way that Abraham circumcised, and the way our ancestors in Europe circumcised, is the only authentic way to do it.

Whether they are against the use of the pipette for metzitzah, a hemostat for efficiency, a shield for protection of the glans (shudder!), gloves for sterility, or the highest standards of sterility that could be maintained outside of the Operating Room (because heaven forfend the bris koidesh should be viewed as surgery in any way - this is not a medical procedure! This is a mitzvah!), their vision of "maintaining authenticity" makes a mockery of medical advances, germ theories, and safety precautions that should be standard fare for every mohel who "operates" (yes, operates) on any child.

The truth is that the only authentic bris is the one that presents no inherent possibility of danger to the baby, beyond what the Torah obligates - that the foreskin be removed accompanied by the blood of the circumcision. Pain should be minimal, bleeding should be minimal, and risk of infection or damage should be NONEXISTENT.

This is authentic. This is living up to the tradition and covenant of Avraham Avinu.