Assimilation - the good kind

 I was trained by a Sefardi Mohel in Israel, so I am quite comfortable with the Sefardic (or other Edot Mizrach) Brit ceremonies. Since Sefardim love to have great rabbis be the Sandak (though many will go the "traditional" route of having a grandfather fill that role), I was privileged to meet Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef many times, as well as Rabbi Mordechai Eliyahu, Rabbi Eliyahu Bakshi Doron, and even Rabbi Yitzchak Kaduri, who was close to 100 years old at the time, and lived to be somewhere between 103-108 (no one knows exactly when he was born).

A few Random Items With One Common Theme

The Importance of Bedside Manner

 Thank God, I had several brisses this week, and along with them had a few unique experiences, beyond dealing directly with the parents and the baby - which is of course run-of-the-mill (though always a different dynamic).

1. First Story

At one bris, a couple who had their son circumcised a few months ago on a Shabbos (with a different mohel) asked me about something the mohel had done on Friday. He used a Probe to separate the foreskin from the glans, somewhere between 16-20 hours before the bris. They wanted to know if this is normal. (a few things emerge from this: a. it is (in my opinion) unnecessarily uncomfortable to the baby, b. it causes swelling, c. it might cause the baby to bleed)

While there may be different feelings about this, I'll tell you how I answered.

Post October 7

 Since that Holocaust-like day, when over 1200 Jews were slaughtered in a single day, there has been a sense that every Jew born since that day should serve as a replacement for someone whose life was snuffed out.

Until now, all the babies born were conceived before that fateful day, but soon the babies born will have been conceived after that time. 

The יהי רצוןs that follow Torah Reading when Tachanun is Cancelled for a Bris or a Baal Bris

 Being a mohel and also a rabbi of a shul, it happens often enough that I am able to daven in shul in the morning when I have a bris later in the day. I’ve written about this here: http://www.mohelinsouthflorida.com/2016/01/no-tachanun-so-called-perk-of-being.html

On Mondays and Thursdays, this presents us with a dilemma. While “everyone knows” that the presence of a Baal Bris cancels Tachanun, (see the last 4 paragraphs in the link to the left/above line), many also know that the יהי רצוןs recited as the Torah is being rolled up on Mondays and Thursday are also connected to the saying of Tachanun. The general rule is “when we don’t say Tachanun, we don’t say the יהי רצוןs” (See the Levush on Orach Chaim 429:2, and Ateres Zekenim also 429:2).

For many years now, whenever this circumstance happens – there is a mohel present (me) who has a Bris later in the day, but the Bris is not taking place here – I have announced “If the DAY cancels Tachanun, then the DAY cancels the יהי רצון. If an EVENT cancels Tachanun, then we still say the יהי רצוןs.”

Over the years I have gotten minimal backlash over this pronouncement, but a few people have asked me for the “Lomdus” behind it. I will admit there isn’t great “Lomdus” behind it, but as I feel there is merit to the argument, and a reasonable svara (thought process behind it), I now present it all here.

Abudirham (or Abudraham) on Cleanliness

In the Shulchan Arukh, there is a description of a Bris ceremony that includes the recitation of the blessing that follows the circumcision (the Mohel's blessing is right before the incision, and the father's blessing is at the moment of the incision), and the Rama adds an insight from Abudirham.

שולחן ערוך יורה דעה הלכות מילה סימן רסה

ואומר: בא"י אלהינו מלך העולם אשר קדש <ה> ידיד (ד) מבטן וכו'. ו ט] ונוהגין שכשמגיע י] לבדמיך חיי, נותן מהיין באצבעו <ו> בפי התינוק. (וכשהמוהל מברך ברכה זו, רוחץ תחלה ידיו ופיו, כדי שיברך בנקיות) (אבודרהם). 

When the Mohel recites that blessing, he should first wash his hands and mouth in order to recite a blessing in cleanliness.

Purim and a Bris

 Purim is a little over a week away.

Click here for a brief summary of what might be different on Purim.

An interesting question can be raised regarding a Purim Bris. 

Since the Bris is a mitzvah which is typically accompanied by its own Seudas Mitzvah, AND there is a Rabbinic Mitzvah to have a special meal on Purim, can the meals be combined? Do there need to be 2 separate meals?

In a simple sense, the halakha recommends that the Purim Seudah be in the afternoon, presumably so that all the other obligations of the day are over - one has already given Matanos L'Evyonim, one has delivered Mishloach Manos, one has heard the Megillah... now a person can relax, drink a little extra (slightly more than usual), and if necessary fall asleep. However, the Seudah MAY take place in the morning, if that is one's preference.

Appreciation

It's hard to explain how much of a privilege it is to serve as a Mohel.

For most Jews, there is no question about whether we will circumcise our child. The questions are usually more along the line of where and what time, as the date is usually chosen based on the baby's arrival... on the 8th day of his life (unless there is a medical reason to delay).

The other question, for the non-mohel-father (the mohel father will circumcise his own son) is "who will we have to help us fulfill this mitzvah?" While none of these are guarantees of the direction parents will go, most people who have a relative who is a mohel will typically go to that relative. People who have a friend who is a mohel might go that route as well. Sometimes a set of grandparents will be fond of a particular mohel and they'll do the hiring (and often carrying the financial load) for all of their grandsons. 

Naming the Baby Before the Bris? A Mi Sheberach for naming...

This question comes up every now and then - can the baby be named before the Bris?

The answer is YES, but the circumstances for why you'd want to do that are far less than ideal.

Before I get into this here, just to note that this is a popular question in Israeli websites:

Din.org

https://www.yeshiva.org.il/ask/18311

https://www.medethics.org.il/article/r0041236a/

https://www.hidush.co.il/hidush.asp?id=10895

https://ask-dh.org/2021/07/21/14892/f

I've addressed it before in two places: 

Different Kinds of Parenting Advice (Decide What Works For You!)

 Years ago I shared a few tricks I picked up over the years for how to tend to babies' cleaning and comforting needs. This post expands a little beyond that as I am noticing trends with first-time parents that remind me that some information is due for an update.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. This is not medical advice. These are things I learned over the years, both as a mohel and as a parent, which have served uswell, our children well, and many parents with whom I have had the privilege of seeing them through the Bris experience. You are welcome and encouraged to ask medical people for their advice. Just remember that, as with anything in life, it is always good to do your homework, get multiple opinions, then do what is right for you and your family, and what is best for your baby.

1. Feeding the baby on a schedule?

Some people like the idea of putting the baby on a schedule. It may help to get the baby to sleep through the night sooner than later in his life (which is probably a good thing). 

Letters to Family

 Here is a compilation of the letters I've written for specific circumstances and for specific people who either need a little assistance or a gentle reminder of what we are doing when it comes to preparing for a bris.

First, there's the note for the husband who might be a little overwhelmed with what's been going on. Yes, you are the baby's dad, but you are also a husband to a special lady. Remember that!

Then there's the note for the mom, who may be having a tough time post the arrival of baby. Especially with the thought of the bris. This one's for you!

Some grandparents totally "get" their role and know how to put everyone at ease and to make everyone comfortable.