Repost IV: Preparing the Mind

In life, we often have dreams of what the "perfect" day will look like. The perfect wedding, the perfect vacation, the perfect Shabbos table, the perfect child, the perfect spouse. 

Reality tends to bite hard in most cases, as we discover that perfection is a lot harder to come by than we thought, hoped, and planned for.

And so it is with brisses. Whether the caterer forgets a detail, an important family member gets stuck in traffic, the mohel comes an hour late (something I work very hard to avoid doing, btw!), or even if the circumcision itself doesn't come out perfectly... we have to always hope and pray for the best, but prepare for imperfection to be the reality.

We need to prepare the mind in a few ways:

1. Parents will have to play the role of wound-care specialist, tending to the "bris" as it heals. Here is the link for all of that instruction. Please note I will go over this with you and demonstrate for you how you are to do this, making it as easy as possible. 

2. Prepare the mind for the sometimes-reality that in the immediate post-bris check up, there may be a need to "clean things up" and "make things even." This often enough is to remove tzitizn ha'ma'akvin. This is part of a larger discussion surrounding all the things that could go wrong at the bris

3. Even if everything goes "perfectly," some times things come up later, especially if the baby becomes particularly chubby in his legs. 

4. We need to prepare our minds for new realities that face parents and grandparents - all of which can be read in these letters I've addressed to members of the family over the years. The letter to moms at that link has been helpful to the pre-bris-very-anxious-moms

5. It's also a good idea to think about how you share your news and good fortune with your family, friends, and the world. Note this important SOCIAL MEDIA Warning

PREPARATION helps us get through much. When we know what to expect, we can get through difficult feelings much more successfully.