Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Metzitzah in a Nutshell

Oy.
This question keeps coming up. And while I have a page dedicated to it, and a lengthy blog post explaining it, and a clarification as to how I do it, it seems I haven't made clear in simple terms why I do it.

So here goes.

The Talmud states that a Mohel who does not do metzitzah is not fit to serve as a mohel.

Not wanting to fall out of favor with this declaration in the Talmud, I continue the tradition.

HOWEVER, the Talmud does not describe how metzitzah is to be done. Nor does it ever say that a bris without metzitzah is an unkosher bris. The bris is fine! It is the mohel who is suspect!

Since Metzitzah can be done in a number of ways, and since a long tradition has the power of the mouth performing the metzitzah, I choose to do it in a way that is as sterile and sanitary as applying a sterile gauze pad to the wound (haven't met a parent who objected to that!), which does no harm to a baby, which also satisfies my own obligations vis a vis the Talmud.

Were the metzitzah, as I perform it, in any way possibly dangerous to a baby, I wouldn't do it at all. I would find an alternative method. But the sterile tube stuffed with sterile gauze assures no transfer of fluid, assuring safety of baby, and allows me to be Talmudically fit to serve as mohel.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

The Sensitivity Factor

I've been asked by many people, "Why should I hire you? What do you differently than any other mohel?"


But after some of the more recent experiences I've had with some sensitive situations, and the feedback I've received, what people have told me they found most helpful about my services is the calming demeanor and the "knowing the right thing to say" manner I bring to their unique circumstance.

Honestly, I am a results guy. I want the circumcision to look as perfect as I can, and I want the baby to be in a good place in his post-bris healing the last time I see him (which is usually one post-bris visit).

But there is so much more to what is going on than just the baby's circumcision. There is post-partum mother, and, in many cases, a nervous father. If this is their first child (but also if it's the first son after a girl or only girls) there is the added "This is totally new for us" factor, 

And people need to know...

that everything will be OK, 
that we have thousands upon thousands of Jewish boys born every year, 
that the baby will cry during the bris.
that circumcision causes a little bit of bleeding.

AND also that
your baby is in good hands
other than you right now, no one cares for your baby's well being more than I do

And all this will be explained to you in a calm manner, in a sensitive manner, in a way that will put you at ease, and will hopefully leave you feeling (as the couple from this morning's bris told me) that your questions and concerns are also my concerns, and that they were answered, and that you were given the attention you need and deserve in the events surrounding the bris of your son. 

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

When Does the Delayed Bris Take Place?

The reasons why a bris might be delayed are mentioned here.

The specific points to consider are addressed here

I got a call Sunday night from a father whose newborn son had finally come home from the hospital after having been there for over a month on account of his premature birth.

He wanted to schedule the bris for a week later, because that was what he had been told to do.

(The following is my summary of our conversation, the quotes are not actual)

Did your baby have complications? No. He needed to learn how to do things, but he's been fine for a while.

Why was he in the hospital so long? He wasn't eating well, he needed to gain weight.

Was he ever "sick"? No. He needed to grow into himself.

All this information led me to understand that the baby did not fall into the "choleh b'khol haguf" (systemic illness) category. It was a matter of maturity.

Then he told me that the doctors felt the baby could have circumcised while still in the hospital, if the parents had wanted such. Which meant he'd had medical clearance for a while.

With an understanding of the medical side, and an understanding of the halakhic side, we discussed options for when to have the bris, and when to have the "celebration party." I told the father that when a baby is ready for his bris, the appropriate thing is to do it as soon as possible. Could a preemie wait a few more days? Yes. But it's not necessary to do so.

The bris ended up taking place the following afternoon after our conversation, with a small, yet respectable - mostly family and very close friends - crowd. The family will have a bigger party as a combination homecoming and post-bris celebration, after the holidays.

MAZAL TOV!

Monday, October 13, 2014

A Promise Fulfilled

I did a bris for a very sweet family (the baby's parents are very chilled out - I love that!) 2 and a half years ago, and blogged about my reflections on a conversation I had at the time with the baby's grandfather. 

At that bris, the baby's father had requested that his father, a urologist by profession, be the one to actually do the circumcision - with me being the facilitator and bandager.

Which I happily did at that time.

The baby's father watched his own father do the bris, and when he saw how simple it is to do, once everything has been set up properly, he spontaneously called out, "THAT'S IT?! I'M going to do it NEXT TIME!"

When he called me last week, I reminded him of his spontaneous comment at the previous bris. And that I'd been telling the story for 2 and a half years.

With a reminder and a nudge, he fulfilled his promise today, and served as mohel for his third son - with complete support of his wonderful wife.