The explanations for these roles and who gets them can primarily be found here, and in the latter half of this post.
Some of them have further explanations elsewhere in the blog: kvatter, Elijah's chair , etc.
THE LIST
* items marked with an asterisk are most commonly done,
- items marked with a dash and in parentheses are possibilities, but not necessary
* Kvatter - male and female who bring baby in to the room (transfer baby from Mom to Dad)
* Kisei Eliyahu/Elijah's Chair - places the baby on a specially designated chair
(- Min Hakisei (from the chair) - gives baby to his father)
* Sandak - holds the baby during the bris
(- Min Hasandak (very uncommon to have this) - takes baby off lap of sandak to give to...)
* Amidah L'brachos (Sometimes called the standing sandak) - holds the baby after the circumcision, for blessings (and naming - next honor)
(- Amidah for Krias Hashem - an additional honoree who takes the baby after two blessings and holds him while he is given his name)
* Brachos - the person who recites the blessings (in a mildly-traditional crowd, the rabbi or mohel will usually do this), and either does or does not name the baby (next honor)
(- krias hashem - the one who first announces the baby's up-until-now secret Hebrew name. Sometimes the person who says the blessings will also name the baby)
(- birkat hamazon - the one who leads the grace after the meals, particularly and ideally in the presence of a minyan of men.)
If you are not sure how to include everyone you need to include, let me know. We can always squeeze another one in. avbillet@gmail.com
Showing posts with label standing sandak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label standing sandak. Show all posts
Monday, May 24, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Getting Family and Friends Involved
In addition to the excitement and joy which comes with the birth of every child, friends and family gather to celebrate the continuation of our People, and our relationship with God that is symbolized by the bris.
For most people, especially those with a very close family, it is essential that family members participate in the ceremony. This is ideal.
Thankfully, the ceremony has many roles that need to be filled. But first, a word about protocol.
Men and Women
When it comes to public ceremonies, Jewish tradition has a thought about what is considered proper and improper, modest and immodest. These issues are subjects of a much larger discussion which I may write about elsewhere.
In a nutshell, to help keep modesty in check, Jewish law established separation of sexes in public ceremonies. As such, while a man may stand next to his wife (and vice versa), it is considered immodest for a man to stand with someone else's wife lest others perceive something, get the wrong idea and perhaps start gossiping.
Where the bris ceremony takes place, such as a home or a synagogue, would determine the proper protocol for the setting - is it, in essence, a private or a public ceremony? This would also determine the degree of participation of both sexes.
The Roles to be Played
In this segment, I will lay out the roles, briefly explain them, and make suggestions as to who should/can play the role and in what context it is inappropriate. Participants in the ceremony should all be Jewish. In the event the father is not Jewish, there are times when he can hold his son during the ceremony as well.
Kvatter - This couple (man and woman) bring the baby to the bris room, the wife taking the baby from his mother, handing him to her kvatter husband, who brings the baby to his father.
This is a male/female tag team. They are either a married couple, or a father/daughter or mother/son team (some might allow sister/brother)
Kisei Eliyahu (Elijah's Chair) - A person puts the baby on a chair designated for Elijah the Prophet.
In a synagogue it is usually a male, often the baby's uncle or great uncle, or some other relative or friend. At home, it can be the same, or baby's aunt, etc.
Sandak - Holds the baby on his lap during the bris.
Synagogue or home - the sandak must be male. First dibs go to baby's grandfather or great-grandfather. If grandfathers have been used at brisses of your older sons, some people include rabbis or dear friends, as the custom in Ashkenazic families is to not repeat sandaks among siblings.
Brachot/Blessings - Two blessings are recited to sanctify the moment and give special significance to the day.
The male reciting the blessings should read Hebrew fluently, understand their meaning, and should be a committed Jew. The default figures for these blessings are the mohel or the rabbi.
Naming the baby - This is a paragraph in Hebrew that officially invokes the baby's Hebrew name.
It is often recited by the same person who is honored to say the blessings (previous). It may be recited by anyone, but as it is a long paragraph in Hebrew, the person should be able to read Hebrew well.
EVERYONE in the room responds with declarations praising God and wishing well - blessings and all - upon the baby. When the crowd is unfamiliar with these Hebrew statements, I generally recite them word by word so all can repeat them together in unison.
Holding the baby for blessings and/or naming (previous two entries) - The person who plays this (these) role(s), should be significant to your family. Imagine this person having a relationship with you and your baby for a long time.
If one grandfather sat as sandak, consider having the baby's second grandfather hold him for the naming - this role is sometimes called the "Standing Sandak." Otherwise, in a synagogue a male will often play this role, while at home, it might be either of the baby's parents or grandparents. Sometimes two people will hold the baby together - both grandmothers, for example.
For most people, especially those with a very close family, it is essential that family members participate in the ceremony. This is ideal.
Thankfully, the ceremony has many roles that need to be filled. But first, a word about protocol.
Men and Women
When it comes to public ceremonies, Jewish tradition has a thought about what is considered proper and improper, modest and immodest. These issues are subjects of a much larger discussion which I may write about elsewhere.
In a nutshell, to help keep modesty in check, Jewish law established separation of sexes in public ceremonies. As such, while a man may stand next to his wife (and vice versa), it is considered immodest for a man to stand with someone else's wife lest others perceive something, get the wrong idea and perhaps start gossiping.
Where the bris ceremony takes place, such as a home or a synagogue, would determine the proper protocol for the setting - is it, in essence, a private or a public ceremony? This would also determine the degree of participation of both sexes.
The Roles to be Played
In this segment, I will lay out the roles, briefly explain them, and make suggestions as to who should/can play the role and in what context it is inappropriate. Participants in the ceremony should all be Jewish. In the event the father is not Jewish, there are times when he can hold his son during the ceremony as well.
Kvatter - This couple (man and woman) bring the baby to the bris room, the wife taking the baby from his mother, handing him to her kvatter husband, who brings the baby to his father.
This is a male/female tag team. They are either a married couple, or a father/daughter or mother/son team (some might allow sister/brother)
Kisei Eliyahu (Elijah's Chair) - A person puts the baby on a chair designated for Elijah the Prophet.
In a synagogue it is usually a male, often the baby's uncle or great uncle, or some other relative or friend. At home, it can be the same, or baby's aunt, etc.
Sandak - Holds the baby on his lap during the bris.
Synagogue or home - the sandak must be male. First dibs go to baby's grandfather or great-grandfather. If grandfathers have been used at brisses of your older sons, some people include rabbis or dear friends, as the custom in Ashkenazic families is to not repeat sandaks among siblings.
Brachot/Blessings - Two blessings are recited to sanctify the moment and give special significance to the day.
The male reciting the blessings should read Hebrew fluently, understand their meaning, and should be a committed Jew. The default figures for these blessings are the mohel or the rabbi.
Naming the baby - This is a paragraph in Hebrew that officially invokes the baby's Hebrew name.
It is often recited by the same person who is honored to say the blessings (previous). It may be recited by anyone, but as it is a long paragraph in Hebrew, the person should be able to read Hebrew well.
EVERYONE in the room responds with declarations praising God and wishing well - blessings and all - upon the baby. When the crowd is unfamiliar with these Hebrew statements, I generally recite them word by word so all can repeat them together in unison.
Holding the baby for blessings and/or naming (previous two entries) - The person who plays this (these) role(s), should be significant to your family. Imagine this person having a relationship with you and your baby for a long time.
If one grandfather sat as sandak, consider having the baby's second grandfather hold him for the naming - this role is sometimes called the "Standing Sandak." Otherwise, in a synagogue a male will often play this role, while at home, it might be either of the baby's parents or grandparents. Sometimes two people will hold the baby together - both grandmothers, for example.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The Ceremony and the Honors
The baby starts off with his mother in a private room. The room changes depending on the venue - it could be a bedroom in an apartment or house, an office or bridal room in a synagogue or catering facility - any place which gives the baby breathing room and an intimate environment where baby’s mother can nurse or otherwise feed him after the bris.
The mohel may or may not prepare the baby prior to the bris. If the baby is “prep”ed by the mohel, the baby can be brought out when he is ready. Otherwise he should be brought out when the mohel calls for him.
For information on how to choose people for the following honors, see the end of this section.
The baby is brought into the room where the bris will take place by a “kvatter” couple. The couple consists of a male and female who are either married to one another or are mother/son or father/daughter or brother/sister. Their role is to be the medium passing the baby from his mother to his father.
After he is passed to kvatter, the mother can go to her “spot” for the bris. Some mothers prefer to stay in the back or in a different room. Some like to be right up front. If you have a rabbi, speak with him about what is best for you based on your tradition. There also tend to be different protocols for home circumcisions versus synagogue circumcisions.
In many traditions, the baby is next placed on the chair of Elijah, the “kisei shel Eliyahu.” Some verses are recited, paying tribute to a staunch defender of the covenant of Bris Milah, Elijah the prophet. Note how he makes an appearance here, similar to the one he makes at the Passover Seder.
The baby is handed to the father who first appoints the mohel to be his messenger to do the bris. This helps the father fulfill his obligation to be the actual person performing the circumcision.
(In Jewish law, a person can appoint a messenger, a “shaliach,” to perform certain commandments on one’s behalf. Other examples include sending someone to donate your charity money, or giving and accepting Jewish legal documents.)
Depending on the family custom, the father’s blessing might be recited now (Sephardic or Middle Eastern tradition).
The father places the baby on the sandak’s lap, where he will be held during the actual circumcision. The sandak honor is considered the highest one can bestow upon a person at the bris.
The mohel may or may not prepare the baby prior to the bris. If the baby is “prep”ed by the mohel, the baby can be brought out when he is ready. Otherwise he should be brought out when the mohel calls for him.
For information on how to choose people for the following honors, see the end of this section.
The baby is brought into the room where the bris will take place by a “kvatter” couple. The couple consists of a male and female who are either married to one another or are mother/son or father/daughter or brother/sister. Their role is to be the medium passing the baby from his mother to his father.
After he is passed to kvatter, the mother can go to her “spot” for the bris. Some mothers prefer to stay in the back or in a different room. Some like to be right up front. If you have a rabbi, speak with him about what is best for you based on your tradition. There also tend to be different protocols for home circumcisions versus synagogue circumcisions.
In many traditions, the baby is next placed on the chair of Elijah, the “kisei shel Eliyahu.” Some verses are recited, paying tribute to a staunch defender of the covenant of Bris Milah, Elijah the prophet. Note how he makes an appearance here, similar to the one he makes at the Passover Seder.
The baby is handed to the father who first appoints the mohel to be his messenger to do the bris. This helps the father fulfill his obligation to be the actual person performing the circumcision.
(In Jewish law, a person can appoint a messenger, a “shaliach,” to perform certain commandments on one’s behalf. Other examples include sending someone to donate your charity money, or giving and accepting Jewish legal documents.)
Depending on the family custom, the father’s blessing might be recited now (Sephardic or Middle Eastern tradition).
The father places the baby on the sandak’s lap, where he will be held during the actual circumcision. The sandak honor is considered the highest one can bestow upon a person at the bris.
At the moment of circumcision the mohel recites a blessing and then the father recites a blessing (Ashkenazic tradition), and the congregation responds accordingly.
After the circumcision is over and the baby is bandaged and wrapped up, he is held by another honoree, who is sometimes called the “standing sandak.”
While the baby is held, two blessings are recited by the rabbi, mohel or an honoree, who is holding a cup of wine. After that another paragraph is recited in which the baby is officially given his Hebrew name.
Mazal Tov!
PICKING THE HONOREES
The rules: All participants in the bris ceremony should be Jewish.
Every other absolute rule is in bold. Anything else is a suggestion or might change based on the venue - ie home versus synagogue. Usually the honorees are all male, save in the kvatter component.
The kvatter: The kvatter is a married couple unless they are a male/female team as described above. Some people have the custom to give this honor to a couple who as yet do not have children, with the hope that in the merit of participating in this event they will be blessed to have a child. If all your married friends and relatives have children, then the honor can be given to any married couple. Some people give it to a great aunt and uncle.
What about having more than one “kvatter”?
No problem. Some people have unmarried siblings (aunts and uncles to baby) or other friends they’d like to get involved. My rule is simple: “Women first, then men. Let the last woman hand the baby to her husband (the first man).”
Elijah’s Chair: This honor can be given to anyone. Some give it to a rabbi, some to an uncle, some to a dear friend. If this is not your first son, many people try to give honors to individuals who were not honored at the previous bris.
Sandak: The sandak must be male. He is usually the baby’s grandfather or great-grandfather. There is a custom, once past the first bris, to use a different sandak for every subsequent bris of your children. A person may be sandak many times – but for only one of your sons. Some Sephardic traditions re-use sandaks.
Blessings and Naming: Should be read by someone who reads Hebrew fluently. In a traditional ceremony, the one who recites the blessings is an observant Jew. In many cases, the rabbi or the mohel will recite the blessings as the default honoree.
Holding the baby/Standing Sandak: This honor can be given to anyone. It is often split - one person for the blessings, and one for the naming. When there are two grandfathers, this is usually when one or both get involved. If one was the regular sandak, the other will typically fill this role. If a great-grandfather was the regular sandak, the grandfathers might split the baby-holding.
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