Important Lesson I've Learned on the Job

Over the years, I have been privileged to serve as mohel for parents at all stages of parenthood. First timers, Second timers, etc. up to tenth-timers. I've worked with parents of twins (a number of times) and triplets (twice).

Thankfully, most births are without complication, or with minimal complication.

But I once had the sad role of being the mohel for a premature twin who lived only one day. (There is a custom to circumcise baby boys who do not survive, so their body may bear the mark of the covenant. You may or may not agree with it, but for the parents who lose a baby so soon after birth, this can be very comforting.)

And I've been the mohel for babies who came against all odds, after their parents experienced numerous miscarriages, or many years of infertility - treated and untreated.

I was once called to do the bris on a baby whose parents - both of them - are cancer survivors. I did not know this about them until after the bris. The husband/father gave the most emotionally packed speech I have ever heard at a bris, and I kid you not when I say there was not a dry eye in the room. Their friends and family all know their story, and they all celebrated the birth and bris of that baby in a way I hadn't seen and haven't seen since.

So here is the lesson:

You never know what people go through before having or in order to have a baby. One father put it to me this way: "People keep saying to us, 'why are you waiting? Don't you know it's better to have the kids closer in age?' We have one daughter, and we've had nine miscarriages. We'll take 'em when we can get 'em."

Obviously he won't say that to people. But it just goes to show that people can be really dumb in the things they say.

Those who are blessed to have babies, whether without difficulty, or with difficulty and with help, are truly blessed.

And those who seem to "wait" a long time before having their first, or their second, etc. - they are blessed in a different way (perhaps moreso) when they have their babies.

And those who don't have any children - you never know why it is so.

Wish those who become pregnant the best of wishes. And if they don't become pregnant, do what you can to help only when they reach out to you. Otherwise, don't say anything.

You have no idea what they're going through.

Multiple Babies

It is a tremendous privilege to be asked to be the mohel for any and every bris.

It is an even bigger privilege when there is more than one baby - such as twins or triplets.

Believe it or not, the last five sets of twins I've dealt with have been boy and girl twins; obviously they were only single brisses.

But I've had my share of twin boy brisses, and, even less common, two sets of triplet boy brisses.

"How do you do it?" people ask. Simple! Have multiple sets of instruments! Now the event is no longer a set of triplets, but it is three brisses in succession. No less an incredible feat, but less stressful for the mohel who has three babies to concern himself with in either case.

The amazing thing is that like every bris and like every baby, the brisses never come out "exactly" the same. For that I guess even the mothers may be grateful because they have another method of identifying the difference in their newborns.

Quadruplets or quintuplets will be the highlight of my career, but I'm not waiting up nights for it to happen.

Though, come to think of it, the last day I spent with my mohel teacher in Israel (Rabbi Mordechai Sasson, the government supervisor of mohels in Israel), he had nine brisses. One of that day's brisses was a baby who was a quadruplet. They hired four mohels that day to give each a chance, rather than give them all to one mohel who really would have had a story to tell for the rest of his life.

While I attended one, I never presided over it. Yet.

All in good time.

Update: Twins bris early 2012  And Late 2012