Different factors play into parents asking for the ceremony to be tailored to their unique crowd and guests.
Of course this is obvious, but the main messages I try to convey in the bris ceremonies over which I preside include:
1. We are celebrating the continuation of the Abrahamic covenant of Genesis 17, which coincides thankfully with the birth of a baby boy.
2. The families of baby's mother and father are celebrating here today.
3. There is much significance attached to the ceremony - much of which has literally been introduced in the last few hundred years, as the ceremony has to a large degree been influenced by a fair dosage of symbolism.
4. The ceremony is an education opportunity.
5. There are some circumstances when light humor is beneficial to ease the nervous tension in the room, which is typically brought on by the fact that a circumcision is about to take place.
6. The ceremony is NOT about the mohel.
All these being the case, sometimes one, sometimes a number of these being true, the ceremony will have the same main ingredients but will never look the same twice.
0. Mohel Circumcises, Someone Else MCs, or runs the show
This does not happen often, but there is sometimes a rabbi, or a close relative or friend who runs the ceremony, and the mohel is literally hired to circumcise, and that's it.
1. Most basic
I will introduce the honorees and go through the ceremony step by step without fanfare. No explanations necessary - this is usually a knowledgable crowd.
2. Minimal Explanations
I will add a brief explanation of each step of the bris as each honoree is introduced.
3. Educational Ceremony
The different honors are explained in greater detail. A light comment, some good-natured humor, and an overall respectful message for the crowd. The ceremony concludes with the baby being given his Hebrew name and the final blessings embedded in the liturgy are briefly explained.
We can discuss what you want, or you can decide for yourself.
But know this: I make the ceremony about the "Bris (the Covenant)" about the family, and about the baby. No part of the circumcision or ceremony stands to serve any purpose to shine light on the mohel, to make it about him, so he becomes the object of attention. It is about the experience, the family, and whatever people can take away from their participation in this special occasion.
I firmly believe that a good mohel's mannerisms, sensitivity and awareness of the needs of people will serve him better than being a showman. Some people like a good show, but most just people prefer honesty, dignity, and a healthy dose of good natured cheer.
Which I hope I provide satisfactorally.
Showing posts with label brachot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label brachot. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Getting Family and Friends Involved
In addition to the excitement and joy which comes with the birth of every child, friends and family gather to celebrate the continuation of our People, and our relationship with God that is symbolized by the bris.
For most people, especially those with a very close family, it is essential that family members participate in the ceremony. This is ideal.
Thankfully, the ceremony has many roles that need to be filled. But first, a word about protocol.
Men and Women
When it comes to public ceremonies, Jewish tradition has a thought about what is considered proper and improper, modest and immodest. These issues are subjects of a much larger discussion which I may write about elsewhere.
In a nutshell, to help keep modesty in check, Jewish law established separation of sexes in public ceremonies. As such, while a man may stand next to his wife (and vice versa), it is considered immodest for a man to stand with someone else's wife lest others perceive something, get the wrong idea and perhaps start gossiping.
Where the bris ceremony takes place, such as a home or a synagogue, would determine the proper protocol for the setting - is it, in essence, a private or a public ceremony? This would also determine the degree of participation of both sexes.
The Roles to be Played
In this segment, I will lay out the roles, briefly explain them, and make suggestions as to who should/can play the role and in what context it is inappropriate. Participants in the ceremony should all be Jewish. In the event the father is not Jewish, there are times when he can hold his son during the ceremony as well.
Kvatter - This couple (man and woman) bring the baby to the bris room, the wife taking the baby from his mother, handing him to her kvatter husband, who brings the baby to his father.
This is a male/female tag team. They are either a married couple, or a father/daughter or mother/son team (some might allow sister/brother)
Kisei Eliyahu (Elijah's Chair) - A person puts the baby on a chair designated for Elijah the Prophet.
In a synagogue it is usually a male, often the baby's uncle or great uncle, or some other relative or friend. At home, it can be the same, or baby's aunt, etc.
Sandak - Holds the baby on his lap during the bris.
Synagogue or home - the sandak must be male. First dibs go to baby's grandfather or great-grandfather. If grandfathers have been used at brisses of your older sons, some people include rabbis or dear friends, as the custom in Ashkenazic families is to not repeat sandaks among siblings.
Brachot/Blessings - Two blessings are recited to sanctify the moment and give special significance to the day.
The male reciting the blessings should read Hebrew fluently, understand their meaning, and should be a committed Jew. The default figures for these blessings are the mohel or the rabbi.
Naming the baby - This is a paragraph in Hebrew that officially invokes the baby's Hebrew name.
It is often recited by the same person who is honored to say the blessings (previous). It may be recited by anyone, but as it is a long paragraph in Hebrew, the person should be able to read Hebrew well.
EVERYONE in the room responds with declarations praising God and wishing well - blessings and all - upon the baby. When the crowd is unfamiliar with these Hebrew statements, I generally recite them word by word so all can repeat them together in unison.
Holding the baby for blessings and/or naming (previous two entries) - The person who plays this (these) role(s), should be significant to your family. Imagine this person having a relationship with you and your baby for a long time.
If one grandfather sat as sandak, consider having the baby's second grandfather hold him for the naming - this role is sometimes called the "Standing Sandak." Otherwise, in a synagogue a male will often play this role, while at home, it might be either of the baby's parents or grandparents. Sometimes two people will hold the baby together - both grandmothers, for example.
For most people, especially those with a very close family, it is essential that family members participate in the ceremony. This is ideal.
Thankfully, the ceremony has many roles that need to be filled. But first, a word about protocol.
Men and Women
When it comes to public ceremonies, Jewish tradition has a thought about what is considered proper and improper, modest and immodest. These issues are subjects of a much larger discussion which I may write about elsewhere.
In a nutshell, to help keep modesty in check, Jewish law established separation of sexes in public ceremonies. As such, while a man may stand next to his wife (and vice versa), it is considered immodest for a man to stand with someone else's wife lest others perceive something, get the wrong idea and perhaps start gossiping.
Where the bris ceremony takes place, such as a home or a synagogue, would determine the proper protocol for the setting - is it, in essence, a private or a public ceremony? This would also determine the degree of participation of both sexes.
The Roles to be Played
In this segment, I will lay out the roles, briefly explain them, and make suggestions as to who should/can play the role and in what context it is inappropriate. Participants in the ceremony should all be Jewish. In the event the father is not Jewish, there are times when he can hold his son during the ceremony as well.
Kvatter - This couple (man and woman) bring the baby to the bris room, the wife taking the baby from his mother, handing him to her kvatter husband, who brings the baby to his father.
This is a male/female tag team. They are either a married couple, or a father/daughter or mother/son team (some might allow sister/brother)
Kisei Eliyahu (Elijah's Chair) - A person puts the baby on a chair designated for Elijah the Prophet.
In a synagogue it is usually a male, often the baby's uncle or great uncle, or some other relative or friend. At home, it can be the same, or baby's aunt, etc.
Sandak - Holds the baby on his lap during the bris.
Synagogue or home - the sandak must be male. First dibs go to baby's grandfather or great-grandfather. If grandfathers have been used at brisses of your older sons, some people include rabbis or dear friends, as the custom in Ashkenazic families is to not repeat sandaks among siblings.
Brachot/Blessings - Two blessings are recited to sanctify the moment and give special significance to the day.
The male reciting the blessings should read Hebrew fluently, understand their meaning, and should be a committed Jew. The default figures for these blessings are the mohel or the rabbi.
Naming the baby - This is a paragraph in Hebrew that officially invokes the baby's Hebrew name.
It is often recited by the same person who is honored to say the blessings (previous). It may be recited by anyone, but as it is a long paragraph in Hebrew, the person should be able to read Hebrew well.
EVERYONE in the room responds with declarations praising God and wishing well - blessings and all - upon the baby. When the crowd is unfamiliar with these Hebrew statements, I generally recite them word by word so all can repeat them together in unison.
Holding the baby for blessings and/or naming (previous two entries) - The person who plays this (these) role(s), should be significant to your family. Imagine this person having a relationship with you and your baby for a long time.
If one grandfather sat as sandak, consider having the baby's second grandfather hold him for the naming - this role is sometimes called the "Standing Sandak." Otherwise, in a synagogue a male will often play this role, while at home, it might be either of the baby's parents or grandparents. Sometimes two people will hold the baby together - both grandmothers, for example.
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