When a new baby arrives, there is so much to do.
Take care of older siblings, take care of mommy, take care of new baby.
If there's a Shalom Zachar: arrange the logistics of the Friday night party, tables and chairs, food and drinks, who will speak, and (if it's being done out of the house) arranging the location.
In the week leading up to the bris: the location needs to be booked, the caterer or food needs to be arranged, and the mohel needs to be called.
Many people are blessed to have family and friends take care of many of these things. Even calling the mohel can be done by someone other than the parents (though it's a good idea for everyone to know who is arranging the mohel so only one is hired).
Most of the things that need to be done can be done per your style, based exactly on what you want.
When it comes to the actual circumcision, however, most people do not know enough about the field to know there are differences in the way mohels may operate or work, in terms of technical procedural details.
I try very hard to give the baby's parents the forum to have the bris "how you want."
So whether you want a meaningful ceremony, a quick procedure, interactive with crowd participation, more of a show, or just a simple, dignified bris, give me a call! Let's talk about what fits your needs, and make the bris out to be all that you wish for yourselves, your baby, and this moment in your lives.
Mazal tov!
Showing posts with label respectful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label respectful. Show all posts
Friday, November 27, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The Right to Choose
I later wrote a Part II to this
You're a young parent. You are about to have your first son (or your second, or your third, etc). You know you're going to be making a bris. You'd like to do research and hire the person you want to do the job. Then mom or dad call and say "Use our friend. He was good enough for you back then." You're thinking, "I don't want a guy who is old enough to be my parent (or grandparent). I want someone who can relate to my experience." Not that the person being recommended is not a good mohel. But your needs are different. [Of course I am not suggesting a mohel should be judged by his age. You should get the right mohel for what you need]
He's your baby. You have the right to choose.
Getting Ahead Means Constant Education - Static is a Formula for Mediocrity
In order to get to the top of one's field, every professional has an obligation to continue one's education. As one mohel put it to me after I had observed him work, "Please tell me what I am doing wrong. I am always learning." Mind you, this man has been a mohel for over 25 years. So I admire him for being able to say this, even though he certainly didn't need any comments of mine.
When you're put on the spot like that, it is hard to be honest. Especially when you don't really know the guy.
So I told him, "Here are the things I would have done differently. I would wear sterile gloves (as opposed to your method of wearing no gloves and using your bare hands). I would have a wastebasket under the table."
What I did not say was, "I would make sure the wine and all materials are there before I begin. I would know who all the key players are (i.e. who is the father, and who are the grandparents) before I begin the ceremony. And I would not delay the start of the ceremony twenty minutes because I am not ready."
I once mentioned to my father that a person who had been reading the megillah on Purim for thirty years must really know it well. My father said, "Yes. Except he's been making the same mistakes for thirty years."
The World of Competition or 'Why Settle for Mediocrity?'It is amazing to me that people settle for mediocrity just because that is what they are used to.
Imagine this scene: There is one kosher restaurant in town. The food is OK (not great), the service is borderline (leaning towards lousy), and the prices are a little higher than reasonable (bordering on ridiculous). You go there only because you don't know anything else, and because you like to eat out every once in a while, but mostly because there are no other options
But don't you think you'd be checking circulars, ads, newspapers, yellow pages, the internet to see if a different kosher restaurant is opening? Let's say this mediocre restaurant is "all you ever knew." Can't you imagine that a different option might be an improvement? Especially if it is looking to compete with what has been, until now, the "only show in town?"
That is a depiction of restaurants.
Why I Prefer to Promote the Finer Qualities of A New Age Mohel
When I was a younger (not as busy) mohel, a friend of mine once said to me in commiseration "Does it really matter if a sixty year old [makes the cut] or if you do it?" His point was that the cosmetic result will be the same. The sixty+ year old in question (a certain mohel in NY), has a reputation and an endless supply of clients. Does it really matter to a young family if they get the thirty year veteran or the (then) five year veteran? All they want is for the bris to go well and for the baby to heal nicely!
Not really.
The New Age Mohel is in tune to modern sensitivities and sensibilities. He uses the most up to date methods of sterilization. He is neat and polished He is extremely aware of the clients he serves, their particular needs, and the needs of their guests who join in their celebration.
And he knows what new parents really want to get out of the bris experience.
What Do Parents Really Want?
New parents want to be treated with dignity and respect. They want the mohel to give them the time of day. They want a person who will sit with them and talk to them, and address their concerns. They want a person who will explain to them the process, who will raise and discuss important issues, who will give them the information they need to feel most comfortable with the process of the bris. They want a mohel who will help guide them and show them different options, to help them understand and find what they want.
They want to see that the mohel practices with a sterile technique. They want to see that he works in a clean space. They want to see that he treats their baby gently. They want to see that they and their baby are not just a number - that they are treated like human beings, like parents who have just had the amazing experience of birth, and who want to have an equally meaningful experience with the bris.
They want follow up. They want the mohel to visit the baby after the bris. To see that everything is OK. To give clear instructions. To call. To be in touch. To care.
See here for a list of good questions to ask a mohel
WARNINGS
Too many people go into the bris experience with too little information. You would never choose a surgeon for yourself without doing research: why pick a mohel for your newborn without doing research?
The bad stories and experiences are usually swept under the rug.
People are embarrassed to talk about their son's penis and his bris.I have heard the following statements from (too many) people who did no research before hiring someone for their son's bris. No one is perfect. But these statements should never have to be said after your son's bris.
THESE ARE ACTUAL QUOTES FROM PEOPLE I HAVE MET, WHO TOLD ME THE STORY OF THEIR EXPERIENCE AFTER LEARNING I AM A MOHEL (WHO DOES THINGS VERY DIFFERENTLY THAN THESE COMMENTS INDICATE ABOUT OTHERS' BRIS EXPERIENCES)
"The diaper was a mess after the bris."
"The mohel did not give us clear instructions."
"There was a bleeding problem."
"The baby got an infection from the bris." [THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN]
"The mohel was not in touch."
"The mohel did not practice good personal hygiene, or in the way he conducted the bris."
"The mohel told us how to take off the bandage, and instructed us over the phone."
"The mohel was insensitive to our needs."
"I wish I had done more research."
"I wish I had even explored other options."
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
You're a young parent. You are about to have your first son (or your second, or your third, etc). You know you're going to be making a bris. You'd like to do research and hire the person you want to do the job. Then mom or dad call and say "Use our friend. He was good enough for you back then." You're thinking, "I don't want a guy who is old enough to be my parent (or grandparent). I want someone who can relate to my experience." Not that the person being recommended is not a good mohel. But your needs are different. [Of course I am not suggesting a mohel should be judged by his age. You should get the right mohel for what you need]
He's your baby. You have the right to choose.
Getting Ahead Means Constant Education - Static is a Formula for Mediocrity
In order to get to the top of one's field, every professional has an obligation to continue one's education. As one mohel put it to me after I had observed him work, "Please tell me what I am doing wrong. I am always learning." Mind you, this man has been a mohel for over 25 years. So I admire him for being able to say this, even though he certainly didn't need any comments of mine.
When you're put on the spot like that, it is hard to be honest. Especially when you don't really know the guy.
So I told him, "Here are the things I would have done differently. I would wear sterile gloves (as opposed to your method of wearing no gloves and using your bare hands). I would have a wastebasket under the table."
What I did not say was, "I would make sure the wine and all materials are there before I begin. I would know who all the key players are (i.e. who is the father, and who are the grandparents) before I begin the ceremony. And I would not delay the start of the ceremony twenty minutes because I am not ready."
I once mentioned to my father that a person who had been reading the megillah on Purim for thirty years must really know it well. My father said, "Yes. Except he's been making the same mistakes for thirty years."
The World of Competition or 'Why Settle for Mediocrity?'It is amazing to me that people settle for mediocrity just because that is what they are used to.
Imagine this scene: There is one kosher restaurant in town. The food is OK (not great), the service is borderline (leaning towards lousy), and the prices are a little higher than reasonable (bordering on ridiculous). You go there only because you don't know anything else, and because you like to eat out every once in a while, but mostly because there are no other options
But don't you think you'd be checking circulars, ads, newspapers, yellow pages, the internet to see if a different kosher restaurant is opening? Let's say this mediocre restaurant is "all you ever knew." Can't you imagine that a different option might be an improvement? Especially if it is looking to compete with what has been, until now, the "only show in town?"
That is a depiction of restaurants.
Why I Prefer to Promote the Finer Qualities of A New Age Mohel
When I was a younger (not as busy) mohel, a friend of mine once said to me in commiseration "Does it really matter if a sixty year old [makes the cut] or if you do it?" His point was that the cosmetic result will be the same. The sixty+ year old in question (a certain mohel in NY), has a reputation and an endless supply of clients. Does it really matter to a young family if they get the thirty year veteran or the (then) five year veteran? All they want is for the bris to go well and for the baby to heal nicely!
Not really.
The New Age Mohel is in tune to modern sensitivities and sensibilities. He uses the most up to date methods of sterilization. He is neat and polished He is extremely aware of the clients he serves, their particular needs, and the needs of their guests who join in their celebration.
And he knows what new parents really want to get out of the bris experience.
What Do Parents Really Want?
New parents want to be treated with dignity and respect. They want the mohel to give them the time of day. They want a person who will sit with them and talk to them, and address their concerns. They want a person who will explain to them the process, who will raise and discuss important issues, who will give them the information they need to feel most comfortable with the process of the bris. They want a mohel who will help guide them and show them different options, to help them understand and find what they want.
They want to see that the mohel practices with a sterile technique. They want to see that he works in a clean space. They want to see that he treats their baby gently. They want to see that they and their baby are not just a number - that they are treated like human beings, like parents who have just had the amazing experience of birth, and who want to have an equally meaningful experience with the bris.
They want follow up. They want the mohel to visit the baby after the bris. To see that everything is OK. To give clear instructions. To call. To be in touch. To care.
See here for a list of good questions to ask a mohel
WARNINGS
Too many people go into the bris experience with too little information. You would never choose a surgeon for yourself without doing research: why pick a mohel for your newborn without doing research?
The bad stories and experiences are usually swept under the rug.
People are embarrassed to talk about their son's penis and his bris.I have heard the following statements from (too many) people who did no research before hiring someone for their son's bris. No one is perfect. But these statements should never have to be said after your son's bris.
THESE ARE ACTUAL QUOTES FROM PEOPLE I HAVE MET, WHO TOLD ME THE STORY OF THEIR EXPERIENCE AFTER LEARNING I AM A MOHEL (WHO DOES THINGS VERY DIFFERENTLY THAN THESE COMMENTS INDICATE ABOUT OTHERS' BRIS EXPERIENCES)
"The diaper was a mess after the bris."
"The mohel did not give us clear instructions."
"There was a bleeding problem."
"The baby got an infection from the bris." [THIS SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN]
"The mohel was not in touch."
"The mohel did not practice good personal hygiene, or in the way he conducted the bris."
"The mohel told us how to take off the bandage, and instructed us over the phone."
"The mohel was insensitive to our needs."
"I wish I had done more research."
"I wish I had even explored other options."
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Bris Humor
Here is a quote from Rabbi Joseph Telushkin's "Jewish Wisdom," p. 141 (William Morrow, 1994)
“My friend Rabbi Jack Riemer of Miami likewise expresses great exasperation at the obscene jokes that frequently are told by people attending a circumcision. Turning the sacred ceremony through which a male Jewish baby enters the covenant into a source for ribald humor demonstrates how obscenity can desecrate the sense of the sacred. For if entering the covenant is turned into a source of jokes, then the covenant itself eventually will be treated as a joke.”
The sentiment is so true. (I only disagree in that I believe the boy enters the covenant when he emerges from his Jewish mother, as does a baby girl who will never be circumcised, when she emerges from her Jewish mother. The boy bears the mark of the covenant, the sign of the bris (אות ברית) at his circumcision.)
The covenant is critical to the definition of the Jewish people. If we disregard or make light of it, it will become meaningless.
At just about every bris at least one person will approach me to see if I've "ever heard this one." One of my colleagues likes to say, "I have respect for that joke, because it's older than you and me combined."
It is a rare occasion when someone tells a joke related to bris that I have not heard.
It is even more rare if the joke I am told is appropriate and worthy of being repeated.
Let us save our inappropriate humor for a night on the town, and minimally preserve our dignity when we have the chance to show the utmost respect for our tradition and heritage.
Why not?
“My friend Rabbi Jack Riemer of Miami likewise expresses great exasperation at the obscene jokes that frequently are told by people attending a circumcision. Turning the sacred ceremony through which a male Jewish baby enters the covenant into a source for ribald humor demonstrates how obscenity can desecrate the sense of the sacred. For if entering the covenant is turned into a source of jokes, then the covenant itself eventually will be treated as a joke.”
The sentiment is so true. (I only disagree in that I believe the boy enters the covenant when he emerges from his Jewish mother, as does a baby girl who will never be circumcised, when she emerges from her Jewish mother. The boy bears the mark of the covenant, the sign of the bris (אות ברית) at his circumcision.)
The covenant is critical to the definition of the Jewish people. If we disregard or make light of it, it will become meaningless.
At just about every bris at least one person will approach me to see if I've "ever heard this one." One of my colleagues likes to say, "I have respect for that joke, because it's older than you and me combined."
It is a rare occasion when someone tells a joke related to bris that I have not heard.
It is even more rare if the joke I am told is appropriate and worthy of being repeated.
Let us save our inappropriate humor for a night on the town, and minimally preserve our dignity when we have the chance to show the utmost respect for our tradition and heritage.
Why not?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Why I Love Being a Mohel
People ask me all the time why I decided to become a mohel.
Have you ever known you wanted to do something so badly? Some people know they want to be doctors from a very young age. Some know they want to be laborers. Some are destined to become teachers or clergy.
The First Reason - Why I Became a Mohel
I grew up in a home and an environment in which Judaism was very important to me. As I entered adulthood, it occurred to me that a well-rounded Jew knows how to do a few things. [In other words, somebody shared this passage from the Talmud with me, from Hullin 9a:]
ואמר רב יהודה אמר רב תלמיד חכם צריך שילמוד ג' דברים כתב שחיטה ומילה ורב חנניא בר שלמיא משמיה דרב אמר אף קשר של תפילין וברכת חתנים וציצית
"And Rabbi Judah said in the name of Rav, a wise student needs to learn three things: how to write (some say this means 'to be a scribe' while others define it as 'to be literate'), how to ritually slaughter (to make kosher animals fit for consumption: inaccurate slaughtering renders even kosher animals such as cows, sheep, goats, chickens, ducks to be unkosher), and how to circumcise. Rabbi Chananya son of Shelamya said in the name of Rav: Even how to tie the knot of the tefillin, how to recite the blessing of the groom (to conduct a wedding), and how to tie tzitzit."
I had observed many circumcisions, and had gotten over the natural squeamishness that sometimes comes when watching such things without knowing exactly what is going on. It was the right time and the right place for me to train and learn this skill.**
Reason #2
I love meeting new parents. Whether this is a first baby or a tenth child (I've done brisses for both ends, and all points in between), the joy that accompanies the arrival of a new baby is a classic example of something that unites the human condition.
It is a privilege to be invited into the inner circle so early, and an honor to bring what I hope is perceived as a calming presence to what can be the stressful (and meaningful!) ordeal of the bris.
Reason #3 & #4
I love newborns.
#3 - To my mind, there is no better evidence to the existence of God than witnessing the miracle of birth. Obviously I don't watch actual births, but I do get to see the result of (hopefully) nine months of gestation, and the constant renewal of the miracle of life.
There is a tradition that God continues to renew the world every day. Seeing newborns on a regular basis is an affirmation of God's continued role in Creation.
#4 - Newborns are so innocent, so sweet, so delightful to behold. It is true that most of my job consists of bothering them, but I also get to calm them and soothe them. I enjoy sharing with new parents some tricks to calm a baby that I've picked up over the years: fast diaper change, how to swaddle, how to avoid the ever-threatening "soaking" the baby gives those who change his diaper, and positions for holding a baby that can be calming, and can remove discomfort.
Reason #5
I am personally very detail oriented and a bit of a perfectionist, qualities which serve me well in my capacity as a mohel.
These character traits help me: run a respectful and organized ceremony, maintain cleanliness throughout the procedure, leave my workplace as neat or neater than how I found it, give you full instructions for how to care for the baby after the bris, make sure the cosmetic result is as best as I can make it.
Conclusion
Yes, there are other reasons as well, but these will suffice for now.
Most of all, it is an honor and privilege to be a part of your family's joyous occasion, which I appreciate very much and do not take lightly. I am grateful that you have opted to explore utilizing my services, and I look forwarding to serving your family with graciousness and sensitivity.
Mazal Tov! Best of luck to you, your baby and your family.
[**I have learned the laws, but not practical application, of how to slaughter animals. The squeamishness is different, and I don't know if I ever will learn the practical skill. It seems the Talmud is saying that a person should also know limits: If you have not learned the skill, do not undertake to do the action... It is very important for every person to be careful not to undertake tasks they are not trained to do. This may seem obvious, but in our world we hear stories all the time of people who thought something was "easy to do" or "didn't require training, skill or guided practice" and ended up with disastrous results.
As for writing, tying tefillin and tzitzit, and knowing the blessing of the groom, I am proud to put a check mark next to all of those.]
Have you ever known you wanted to do something so badly? Some people know they want to be doctors from a very young age. Some know they want to be laborers. Some are destined to become teachers or clergy.
The First Reason - Why I Became a Mohel
I grew up in a home and an environment in which Judaism was very important to me. As I entered adulthood, it occurred to me that a well-rounded Jew knows how to do a few things. [In other words, somebody shared this passage from the Talmud with me, from Hullin 9a:]
ואמר רב יהודה אמר רב תלמיד חכם צריך שילמוד ג' דברים כתב שחיטה ומילה ורב חנניא בר שלמיא משמיה דרב אמר אף קשר של תפילין וברכת חתנים וציצית
"And Rabbi Judah said in the name of Rav, a wise student needs to learn three things: how to write (some say this means 'to be a scribe' while others define it as 'to be literate'), how to ritually slaughter (to make kosher animals fit for consumption: inaccurate slaughtering renders even kosher animals such as cows, sheep, goats, chickens, ducks to be unkosher), and how to circumcise. Rabbi Chananya son of Shelamya said in the name of Rav: Even how to tie the knot of the tefillin, how to recite the blessing of the groom (to conduct a wedding), and how to tie tzitzit."
I had observed many circumcisions, and had gotten over the natural squeamishness that sometimes comes when watching such things without knowing exactly what is going on. It was the right time and the right place for me to train and learn this skill.**
Reason #2
I love meeting new parents. Whether this is a first baby or a tenth child (I've done brisses for both ends, and all points in between), the joy that accompanies the arrival of a new baby is a classic example of something that unites the human condition.
It is a privilege to be invited into the inner circle so early, and an honor to bring what I hope is perceived as a calming presence to what can be the stressful (and meaningful!) ordeal of the bris.
Reason #3 & #4
I love newborns.
#3 - To my mind, there is no better evidence to the existence of God than witnessing the miracle of birth. Obviously I don't watch actual births, but I do get to see the result of (hopefully) nine months of gestation, and the constant renewal of the miracle of life.
There is a tradition that God continues to renew the world every day. Seeing newborns on a regular basis is an affirmation of God's continued role in Creation.
#4 - Newborns are so innocent, so sweet, so delightful to behold. It is true that most of my job consists of bothering them, but I also get to calm them and soothe them. I enjoy sharing with new parents some tricks to calm a baby that I've picked up over the years: fast diaper change, how to swaddle, how to avoid the ever-threatening "soaking" the baby gives those who change his diaper, and positions for holding a baby that can be calming, and can remove discomfort.
Reason #5
I am personally very detail oriented and a bit of a perfectionist, qualities which serve me well in my capacity as a mohel.
These character traits help me: run a respectful and organized ceremony, maintain cleanliness throughout the procedure, leave my workplace as neat or neater than how I found it, give you full instructions for how to care for the baby after the bris, make sure the cosmetic result is as best as I can make it.
Conclusion
Yes, there are other reasons as well, but these will suffice for now.
Most of all, it is an honor and privilege to be a part of your family's joyous occasion, which I appreciate very much and do not take lightly. I am grateful that you have opted to explore utilizing my services, and I look forwarding to serving your family with graciousness and sensitivity.
Mazal Tov! Best of luck to you, your baby and your family.
[**I have learned the laws, but not practical application, of how to slaughter animals. The squeamishness is different, and I don't know if I ever will learn the practical skill. It seems the Talmud is saying that a person should also know limits: If you have not learned the skill, do not undertake to do the action... It is very important for every person to be careful not to undertake tasks they are not trained to do. This may seem obvious, but in our world we hear stories all the time of people who thought something was "easy to do" or "didn't require training, skill or guided practice" and ended up with disastrous results.
As for writing, tying tefillin and tzitzit, and knowing the blessing of the groom, I am proud to put a check mark next to all of those.]
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Different Types of Mohels
There are many excellent mohels in this country. There are many fine mohels as well.
In Israel these differences are marked by the title "Mohel Mumcheh" (מוהל מומחה) (expert) and the standard "Mohel Musmach" (מוהל מוסמך) (certified or ordained to be a mohel). The differences between them vary and depend upon certain qualifications such as advanced study and examination, and years and volume of experience.
Just to bring an example, on this list of certified over 350 mohels in the Jerusalem area, very few of them are "experts." It's kind of like going to the top doctor who is less accessible when just about any other doctor will do the same job for you.
Trifecta: Ceremony, Care (Results), Complications (a.k.a 'The Triple C')
These three components will help you determine the kind of mohel you want. Unless a mohel is right out of mohel school, any experienced mohel has done hundreds, if not thousands of procedures. So you need not worry about your son being horribly damaged. As a pediatric surgeon I know has said, "We fix more circumcisions done by OBGYNs than anything else. With mohels, we'll usually hesitate to do anything to their work because they generally do a really good job. The worst case scenario, if anything, is a slight cosmetic touch up. Which is extremely rare and usually unnecessary."
Taking his lead, let's look to other criteria, because just about any mohel you will hear about is probably a fine, good, or excellent mohel whom you can trust your son's care to. A pediatrician I consulted with many times (particularly to determine if the bris needs to be delayed due to the baby's health) told me that many brisses he sees (in his neighborhood in NY there are many mohels so he saw the gamut of "results") look awful in the first few days, but they usually heal quite nicely and end up looking fine. [Before I moved to Florida, he called me to say how much he'd miss me and that I was the first mohel name he gave to clients who asked for a suggestion.]
Ceremony
Care (and Results)
Complications
In Israel these differences are marked by the title "Mohel Mumcheh" (מוהל מומחה) (expert) and the standard "Mohel Musmach" (מוהל מוסמך) (certified or ordained to be a mohel). The differences between them vary and depend upon certain qualifications such as advanced study and examination, and years and volume of experience.
Just to bring an example, on this list of certified over 350 mohels in the Jerusalem area, very few of them are "experts." It's kind of like going to the top doctor who is less accessible when just about any other doctor will do the same job for you.
Trifecta: Ceremony, Care (Results), Complications (a.k.a 'The Triple C')
These three components will help you determine the kind of mohel you want. Unless a mohel is right out of mohel school, any experienced mohel has done hundreds, if not thousands of procedures. So you need not worry about your son being horribly damaged. As a pediatric surgeon I know has said, "We fix more circumcisions done by OBGYNs than anything else. With mohels, we'll usually hesitate to do anything to their work because they generally do a really good job. The worst case scenario, if anything, is a slight cosmetic touch up. Which is extremely rare and usually unnecessary."
Taking his lead, let's look to other criteria, because just about any mohel you will hear about is probably a fine, good, or excellent mohel whom you can trust your son's care to. A pediatrician I consulted with many times (particularly to determine if the bris needs to be delayed due to the baby's health) told me that many brisses he sees (in his neighborhood in NY there are many mohels so he saw the gamut of "results") look awful in the first few days, but they usually heal quite nicely and end up looking fine. [Before I moved to Florida, he called me to say how much he'd miss me and that I was the first mohel name he gave to clients who asked for a suggestion.]
Ceremony
- Do you want a simple ceremony? A flashy ceremony?
- Do you want the mohel to be the star of the show? Or do you want the baby to be the center of attention?
- Do you want your family involved? Do you want the mohel to do everything?
- Do you want to do the bris your way? The mohel's way? Guided by Jewish tradition? (These do not have to conflict)
- Do you have customs based on your family's most ethnic point of origin (as in North Africa, Middle East, or Eastern Europe - not North America, Middle America, or the Eastern Seaboard)?
- Do you want explanations of the ceremony? Significance explained, lessons taught, stories told?
- Do you want bare bones, no talking except what is written in the prayer book?
Care (and Results)
- Does the mohel see the baby before the bris? Does he make a follow up visit after the bris?
- Is he sensitive to the baby? Is he sensitive to the mother?
- Does he wear gloves and have a sterile technique - see here and here ?
- Does he put you at ease (see here too)? Is he preoccupied thinking only about what he has to do?
- Does he inform you how to care for the baby after the bris?
- Does he tell you what to do in an emergency situation?
- What is his track record? Was his work ever revisited by surgeons? (for most mohels the answer may be yes. This is a simple matter of statistics. Out of 100 brisses, at least one may have an issue. Either he won't tell you, or, and this may very well be the case, he does not know because the parents did not tell him about it)?
- How long does it take to heal and what are the cosmetic results like (in general)?
Complications
- What kinds of complications can or do arise after a bris?
- How does a mohel deal with them?
- What if aesthetics or other matters come up or become apparent a few months down the road? How does the mohel deal with these circumstances and questions?
- I was trained by the government supervisor in Israel, Rabbi Mordechai Sasson. Before retiring he was one the five "expert" mohels on the list linked above.
- The number of brisses I have performed is in the 4 digits - which is an explanation I likely won't be updating for awhile (will need to get to 10,000 for that!) - in my over 25 years as a mohel (updated this info in 2024, as my training ended in 1998)
- Many parents have called me to do a bris for them a second time (on a different son of theirs, of course), a third time, and even four times! Some sets of grandparents have watched me circumcise anywhere from three to a dozen of their grandsons. This may include babies from three or more (sets) of their own children.
- I am not flashy, I am very respectful, and I guarantee the highest standards of sterility in the care of your son.
- I recognize that every baby is different, not all babies have the same circumstance of anatomy - and underneath the foreskin there can be all sorts of hidden surprises which may often determine a different result. Not all brisses end up looking the same.
- I have (thank God) never had a baby go to a doctor or hospital due to bleeding issues after a bris while under my care.
- I have (thank God) never had a baby develop an infection as a result of the bris.
- I view my role very seriously, and come to a bris with a sense of trepidation over the seriousness of the moment and the Jewish, traditional significance attached to the bris.
- On an equal scale, I value the trust you put in me as a practitioner, to give your son the care he deserves for undergoing this procedure, in fulfillment of the commandment first given to Abraham and concretized by Moses on Mt. Sinai. (If not for these last reasons, I would never serve in this capacity.)
I hope your research brings you back to this site and look forward to talking with you when your son is born.
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