Monday, September 19, 2011

The Importance of Trust

I came to Israel to do my nephew's bris. My sister is a veteran bris-mom (her 5th boy), and some of her friends commented how calm she was during the bris. She is a pro, though, so it is not surprising. And, she has an advantage over many moms due to her relationship with her son's mohel.

And this is what made me think about what makes parents calm during the bris. Sometimes it is totally a personality thing. If you live your life chilled out, you will be chilled out during your son's bris. If just about anything makes you nervous, your bris experience will be nerve-wracking.

Unless.

Unless you trust your mohel completely.

I have found that in the cases where people contact me in advance of their son's birth (usually knowing they're having a boy - but even when they are preparing 'just in case') and we have a chance to meet or to chat, to get to know one another, it makes the bris experience ever so much more pleasant all around. When I arrive at the bris, I know the parents already. There are no surprises. We've talked about just about everything that needs to be discussed, and we are very much on the same page.

Hiring a mohel to do your son's bris is no simple undertaking. Many people don't put much thought into it, opting to ask their friends "who did you use?" without finding out themselves if the mohel works for them as well (not everything is a perfect match).

But remember that you are hiring a mohel to serve you, to communicate with you, to take the best possible care of your baby, to perform a minor surgery on your baby, in a public forum, on a part of his anatomy which requires delicate care - where the mohel should be careful to remove (as close to) exactly what he needs to remove, to leave your son with a kosher bris and an aesthetically pleasing circumcision.

If you do your research in advance, communicate in advance, you will benefit from having a better feeling of trust for your mohel, which will make your bris experience ever so much more pleasant.

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