A Different Type of Busy

I don't know what triggers them specifically, beyond my existence, but every now and then my Facebook page is attacked by anti-circumcision activists, some of whom are respectful, some of whom are curious as to why we do what we do, some of who can not fathom how we don't view Brit Milah as a human-rights violation, and some of whom are vile human beings who spew filth and the most hate-filled language and invective towards me (as a representative of Brit Milah) and our backwards ways.

These latter people, some of whom go so far as calling me a pedophile, get blocked, banned, and their comments deleted. They don't call urologists and gynecologists sexual predators, so their comment in my direction is just disgusting. If no one ever hired me again for a bris, I would never see another foreskin (except on my own newborn son, I suppose) as long as I live. And I certainly have no interest in seeing my work once the healing process has completed and parents aren't asking me questions about it. (Though as long as they ask questions, it's in a professional capacity, and the physician parable remains...)

As for the rest of the people, if they have respectful comments and questions, I am happy to have the dialogue. Perhaps there is merit to trying to explain - in a respectful manner. Even though it takes time, and the conversation almost never convinces anyone of even the merits of our view.

Because the bottom line is this. People who have not bought into a. Judaism, and b. the Covenant (both of which are why we do this), as well as those who do not agree with the idea that parents who bring children into the world are allowed to raise them how they want, they don't accept that Brit Milah (which includes the act of circumcision, but is symbolically much more than a circumcision) isn't a human rights violation. 

They can argue that a child born of a Jewish mother is Jewish even without circumcision. This is certainly true. But try explaining to them the concept of 'karet' and you're viewed as a lunatic (so I don't - not worth it). They certainly don't understand why doing it this way is highly preferred over letting the child decide when he is 18. While I've met some people on FB who are disgruntled, in my personal dealings, everyone is happy their parents took care of it for them when they were babies (as per Torah law - Genesis 17 and Leviticus 12:3), so it's done and taken care of.

To these activitists, pro-circumcision views are irrelevant (not that we need them, because we're doing it anyway), and any perspective other than their own is unacceptable. One woman even said that circumcision is a form of Anti-Semitism (I can't make this stuff up!) 

They don't understand us. Period. One person told me there was a reason why Greeks and Romans outlawed circumcision. And I congratulated him on joining the ranks of the most evil people to ever inhabit this earth, who hated Judaism and (murdered) Jews on account of their being different, and for the acts they did which made them Jewish.

Most Jewish men I encounter give no second thought to their circumcision, and certainly don't obsess over how their lives would be different if they had their foreskin. Many are even proud of their circumcision, and even prouder that they had the opportunity to bring their sons into the mark of the Covenant as well. 

It's been an interesting week. But I look forward to focusing on the important work of bringing our Jewish boys into the mark of the Covenant. 

The Pulitzer Prize-worthy photo that went viral

The first time I posted a picture that went viral on Facebook was, post-bris, after a mom put a creative Harry-Potter themed onesie on her baby.

This time - overwhelming those numbers - the photo I posted on Friday (2 days ago), has already been seen by over 100,000 people, has been shared over 500 times and has received over 1100 reactions, according to the stats I see through FB.

I did not do this bris - it took place in Israel - but the story is so heartwarming. The great-grandfather held his own brother during WWII, as his brother died. The baby was named for that brother - what a different position to be in! To have held and lost over 70 years ago, and now to hold for life!!!

Here is the post. Am Yisrael Chai!!!

Tefillin at the Bris

I don't know what's going on in this photo, but the person on the right is still wearing his hand tefillin

When davening leads directly into the bris, the baby's father (as well as the Sandak) will often ask me, "Do I leave my tefillin on?"

According to the Sha"kh (Y"D 265:10) "the custom was to not remove tefillin until after the Bris, because tefillin are a sign (אות) and Milah is a sign (אות)."

Yosef Weissberg, in his Otzar HaBris Vol 2, page 250, addresses many of the rules associated with Tefillin in conjunction with a bris. 

* The Sefardic custom in Jerusalem is that the father and the Sandak put on tefillin (or leave them on) for the Bris. If it's after davening, the Mohel leaves them on too. (This assumes the mohel davens with the family, which is not always the case. Also, from experience with my first son, I'll note that I took off my hand tefillin, but left my head tefillin on, as the hand tefillin get in the way of doing a good job  - AB)

* In the book אות חיים ושלום (from Munkatch) concurs with my parenthetical comment about the mohel, but felt that the Sandak should keep the tefillin on. 

* There is another viewpoint (recorded by Ateret Tzvi, and reported as practice of Chozeh of Lublin and others) not to keep the tefillin on for the Bris. This is also true for the Yemenite Jews - tefillin are removed prior to the bris. 

* A reason for removing the tefillin follows a similar reasoning for why we don't wear tefillin on Shabbos. Since Shabbos is an אות, we don't need tefillin that day. Since מילה is an אות, we don't need to have another אות around at the same time as we are introducing a new אות. 

* In the book כורת הברית, he doesn't recommend taking them off. But if one is not wearing tefillin, he should not put them on, as he looks like he's seeking an אות when he is already partaking in the marking of a very special אות. 

* Rabbi Moshe Feinstein argued with the logic of most recent bullet point, because the new אות is not on the person wearing the tefillin - it's on the baby! So if the tefillin are on - whether kept on, or put on in honor of the bris - this is not a contradiction. 

TO PUT IT SIMPLY, I ALWAYS TELL THE FATHER AND SANDAK WHO ASK, "IT'S UP TO YOU!"

Bris During the Three Weeks

For babies born yesterday and for the coming three weeks, any bris will be during the period which is called "Bein Ha'Mtzarim" in Halakha, or the "three weeks" in English. This period starts on the 17th of Tammuz and ends with Tisha B'Av.

As this is a time of mourning on the Jewish calendar, some rules of the bris experience are a little different than usual.

All of the following is recorded in Yosef Weissberg's bris Otzar HaBris volume 1, pages 289-291, where he has all the footnotes supporting the viewpoints presented.

The Baalei Bris (Father, Sandak, Mohel) may get a haircut in honor of the bris. Some are of the opinion that if the bris is during the week when 9 Av will be taking place, that haircut should be skipped. [In a footnote, he essentially argues that the same rule applies to cutting fingernails]

The Baalei Bris (see above) may wear "Shabbos clothes" to the bris. The woman who brings the baby into the bris - the female half of the Kvatterin - may also wear Shabbos clothes, though the male Kvatter may not.

The wine should be given to children to drink, or to the mother of the baby. But the one who makes the bracha during the bris ceremony should not have, and neither should the Baalei Bris (see above) taste the wine. [Though he doesn't specify, I assume this rule is actually during the 9 days, when the custom is to refrain from wine, except on Shabbos, and not from 17 Tammuz until Rosh Chodesh]

Everyone who is present for the mitzvah and therefore the meal are permitted to eat meat and drink wine as part of the "seudas mitzvah" celebratory meal. The wine used for bentching may also be consumed.

However, during the week in which 9 Av falls, one should limit the size of the guest list to relatives and enough to make a minyan. The exception to this rule is if the bris is on Shabbos - even on Shabbos which is 9 Av (for which the fast will be observed on Sunday) - then everyone can participate.

Another adorable shirt choice

Easily the best shirt I've seen on a baby post bris is the one that went viral on Facebook. 
(Last link is to my blog about it. This one is to the Facebook post)

Last week, a couple with a wonderful way about them (very chilled out), with a shared sense of humor bought the "perfect" shirt for their baby to wear to his bris. And here it is.

I've written about the tasteless kind of humor that some people think belongs at the bris. But I am not against the kind of humor that eases the natural tension in the room, and the kind that is totally appropriate.  This qualifies.

Adorable.

And the bris was perfect.

Recent travels

Thank God, some of my recent brisses have taken place out of state. Ever grateful for the traffic from travelingmohel.com and a reputation that is, thank God, growing, these brisses always turn out to be wonderful experiences.  They often include meeting Jews in further-away communities, who are, of course, grateful for the gift of their new baby. But who are also making a go of a Jewish life away from family, and sometimes, away from a mainstream Jewish community.

It's always a marvel how people manage in their own way, their own observance, their own approach to a relationship with God. And how, for all of these people, the question is never "should we do a bris?"

It is always, "Where, and when will the bris take place? And how can we make sure we have a mohel for the proper time?"

Kudos - God bless - and may you raise your children with joy.

Comics about Bris

I was cleaning out some old files and I came across these - from my New York days when we would get the Jewish Week.

In general I don't like jokes about Bris as they are usually inappropriate and irreverent (as demonstrated in the second one). A colleague of mine likes to say to the person who tells a bris joke, "I have a lot of respect for that joke because it's older than you and me combined."

That said, enjoy?

Baby Feeling Pain - Myths and Facts

I just came across this article on chabad.org, and thought I'd give a slightly different perspective on the question of whether the baby feels pain at the bris. The main reason for sharing the following perspective is because I prefer to be a realist and share truth, rather than paint a rosy picture, blaming realities on straw-men, and ignoring the facts-of-life.

I do agree with the article in that we've been doing this for a very long time, and when done right, most babies are fine shortly after the procedure is over. And certainly have no memory of it.

I've written about this subject before - you can search "pain" in my website (this link will do it for you if you're not on a computer or laptop) and you'll get my thoughts on this more spelled out.

But here is the brief version.

FACTS
Anything out of the baby's comfort zone causes a baby to cry. This may include: wearing a diaper, not wearing a diaper, being hungry, being handled for a diaper change, having legs pushed out of fetal position, any kind of pain.

MYTH
Babies nerve endings aren't developed so they don't feel pain.

FACT
Babies feel pain. However, they don't have a very long-term memory. When pain sensation ends, and especially if amicably distracted (otherwise comfortable, eating, etc), crying can stop.

MYTH
Babies are at their prime for clotting on day 8, so the 8th day is the best day to have a bris.

FACT
The 8th day is the best day for a bris because God said so. Clotting factor is irrelevant to pain.

MYTH
A bris is really pain-free because it is a mitzvah.

FACT
A bris is often less painful than a hospital circumcision because the hospital variety utilizes clamps that crush the skin and destroy tissue (from the clamping). Some mohels use a clamp too, so let the customer beware (fwiw, I don't use a clamp). The baby cries when being handled, so the longer he is exposed, subject to metal surgical instruments, and with his legs restrained from being in the fetal position, the more he will cry. Saying he doesn't feel the circumcision in a bris ceremony is a lie.

FINAL POINT
While I'll leave the debate of numbing for a different discussion (search for numbing is here), I think the main points to consider are DEGREE of pain-inducing contact, and the amount of TIME during which baby is subject to the same.

A mohel should not use a clamp, and should work neatly, efficiently, and should be done - start (separating membrane) to finish (bandaging) in 30 seconds. Less contact → less discomfort → less crying baby → happier everyone.

Maybe My Kvatter "Rules" Are Wrong!

I find this depiction of a bris, in particular the description of who served as Kvatter, to be fascinating. And who was the baby? At the time he was the son of a prominent rabbi in Piotrkow. Now that baby is a former Chief Rabbi of Israel. Rabbi Israel Meir Lau.

Rabbi Lau

Naftali Lavie and Rabbi Lau shortly after liberation

The bris story was recorded by Naftali Lau-Lavie in his book, "Balaam's Prophesy"

A Bris Milah Roundup

As most of what I've ever wanted to say about Bris Milah has already been recorded in this blog, the challenge is ever present to say something new, to couch something a new way, or to come up with new material that has not yet been addressed. As it happens, there are many sefarim (Hebrew books) written on the subject, so if I would either like to get esoteric, or start discussing out of the ordinary circumstances (such as what happens if the bris is on a pushed off fast day and the baby's father dies before the circumcision), those options are always available.

At the minimum I'm trying to blog once a month, so before May is lost, here goes.

I've gotten two more inquiries from physicians - I mentioned a previous one from two months ago here. And once again a physician (or two, or more?) wants to become a mohel and is having a hard time finding a mohel to train him.

One needs to be consistently busy to train others, and as I'm finding out, babies tend to come in spurts and seasons. I have about 12 babies lined up for brisses at the end of June through early August - and that's just the people who call well in advance! (And some of them may turn out to be girls, which will obviously lower the numbers)

In the news: Europe is going crazy again, couching their anti-Semitism in the guise of liberalism. Save the babies! Save the animals! From those nasty Jews!  (the title is mine, but that is the truth behind this latest assault)

I spoke to a father this week who had two very preemie twin boys. They will need a lot of time before they are ready for a bris. And as I write this I am waiting in an airport for my delayed flight to take me to a bris for another set of twins - though only the brother half will be having his bris.

Life goes on. Babies are born every day, and this blog continues to service people around the globe. Not sure why, but for the first time I know of, the hits from Israel outshine from even the USA - 3929 website visits from Israel in this week alone, compared to a meager 411 in the USA.

Germany, Brazil, UK and Netherlands are the next top visitors. I hope they're mostly Jews looking for information, rather than anti-Semites looking for fodder to fuel their anti-Semitism (see mention of Europe above).

That about does it! Looking forward to the summer and the many anticipated (and unknown to me) births which are coming. May the babies all be healthy, and may the boys have their brisses at the right time.