Repost XV: Unique Family Situations

 When a Jewish man marries a Jewish woman, they are most likely (and hopefully) aligned in their Jewish commitments. When she gives birth to a boy, they will schedule their son's bris. Sometimes the woman calls me, sometimes the man calls me. 

When there is any other arrangement of parents, things can get a little complicated.

Father is not Jewish

When the woman is Jewish and the man is not, Jewish law has declared that the baby's Jewishness is transferred through his mother. So while the case may not look the same as the first case described above, the baby's Jewishness is not subject to scrutiny. The ceremony will look a little different because the child does not have a Jewish father, but insofar as the child being considered Jewish, this is unquestionable and unchallenge-able. 

Here is where the topic of how to name the baby under that circumstance is raised. The particular question is relevant because we always name a Jewish child by his name 'ben' (son of) (his father's Jewish name). In this case, since the father is not Jewish and doesn't have a Jewish name, we would want the child to not seem different from others, so the options of how to name him are included here.

Father Not Present

While this is not necessarily a unique "family" situation, the absence of the father does raise a minor issue of who says the blessing the father usually says at the time of the Bris. You can read that discussion here

Mother Not Jewish

When the mother is not Jewish, the halakha declares that her child is not Jewish. Even if the baby's father IS Jewish. [This is a position that Reform Judaism challenges in their holding that patrilineal descent is sufficient for someone's Jewish status to be affirmed.]

Admittedly this is a source of much contention when a man is looking to have his son circumcised under the framework of a "bris."

The child can be circumcised. But unless it is done for the sake of conversion, it is not a bris. 

And yet, this is far less of a problem - because most people at least 'understand' that when the woman is not Jewish that is a basic and undisputed fact.

Mother Converted Under Non Strict Auspices 

Conversion is a hot topic [see a more drawn out discussion than the previous link]. What follows, if her conversion did not include an acceptance of the binding nature of all 613 mitzvot, is a different kind of question relating to the legitimacy of the conversion in question. See here

Another attempt to discuss this topic

Two Mothers or Two Fathers

The following information is new (not a repost) as I haven't really addressed this issue before

A same sex couple has a baby - hat is the baby's status? If they are males, there was a surrogate. Her status would play a large part in determining the status of the baby. If she is Jewish, the baby is most likely Jewish. Though some will further argue that if the donor egg was from a different woman, we'd have to know the donor's Jewish status as well. In most cases, and the greater likelihood is that both the egg and the surrogate are not Jewish. This makes matters very simple. The child is not Jewish. If the father of the baby (since a child of this couple will have genetic material from one of the men) is Jewish, and he can convince a Bet Din that his child is to be raised Jewish, then a circumcision for the sake of conversion can take place under the auspices of a Bet Din. 

If the couple are females, this should look rather simple. If the birth mother (since only one of them can carry the baby) is Jewish, then the baby is Jewish, and is required to have a bris. However, I have come to learn that in these relationships, often enough the birth mother will carry her to term a child which has her partner's egg. [If the birth mother is a non-Jewish woman, and is carrying a baby comprised of her Jewish partner's egg... see how it gets complicated?]

In both of these cases there are rabbis who will rule that the baby is Jewish, and rabbis who will rule that the baby is not Jewish, and others who will advise having a "conversion to be on the safe side." Finding a Bet Din who will authorize such a conversion might be a bit of a challenge.

Finally - a more general discussion that is ancillary to these, and that is how to go about...

Including Non Jews in the Ceremony