Monitoring the News

There are some crusades which are just a little too reminiscent of bad stages in Jewish history. (It is ironic that this story came out in the weeks prior to Hanukkah - see the third sentence here as well)

There is a man in San Francisco who is reportedly gathering signatures for a petition to make it illegal to circumcise minors - which of course translates to anyone under the age of 18. The petition will merely allow the issue to be put to a general vote in the near future, which can always lose at the ballot box. But in San Francisco, who knows what can happen?

I am not going to go into the legalities beyond suggesting that such a ban is unconstitutional simply because it would step on the toes of religious freedom (for those religions such as Judaism that require circumcision), and also puts the law into people's private lives in a way that seems to be illegal according to US law.

What I Learned in the Operating Room

I have had the privilege of observing pediatric surgeons, pediatric urologists, and adult urologists operate in the operating room. Sometimes it was at their invitation, sometimes at my request, and sometimes at the insistence of the parents.

With the adult urologists (I use the term to differentiate from pediatric urologists - all urologists are adults), I learned much about the anatomy of the penis, the foreskin, the mucosal membrane underneath the foreskin, the glans, and the delicacy and intrigue of the male organ from a medical standpoint.

With the pediatric urologists and surgeons, I was present when the circumcision to be done was extremely complicated,

The Wrong Attitude Is Not to Ask

Someone recently called our home from New York. She gave birth to a boy a few weeks ago, and the bris took place on time – the services of a local NY mohel were obtained.

In her conversation with my wife, she indicated she had a few concerns and questions about her son's bris, so I was given the phone to offer a mohel's perspective and to put her mind at ease.

After describing the way the mohel had instructed her to oversee her baby's healing process, and giving the best explanation she could of what things looked like, she kept asking, "Is this normal?"

From the information that was shared, and obviously without having seen the baby, I felt that while the prognosis was not standard, with time all would heal properly and look fine.

I had a few questions of my own: Did the mohel explain everything that you'd see? (No). Did he give you instructions how to care for the bris? (Yes) Did he walk you through the process in advance? (No) Was he nice to you? (Yes – everyone uses him) Just because everyone hires him does not mean everyone has a nice experience – overall, do you think you would call him again? (No). Why not? (Uhhhh)

Then came what, to my mind, was the most disturbing comment in the conversation. "Now that I've had this experience, if I ever have a son again I'll know what to ask in advance, and I'll do it right."

[INSERT BUZZER SOUND]

Wrong thing to say!

Don't Make Your Son Into Your Experiment

Let us remember that each child is precious. That we want the best for every child. And, as best as possible, we should do what is right the first time around.

This means that if you are a parent, you must ask all the questions BEFORE your son's bris, even and ESPECIALLY if it is your first son.

[I will grant that if you've had a positive experience with a mohel in the past and trust the man completely, then you need not go through everything again – that is your choice, and I feel it is justified. But the conversation should be had with any mohel you are employing for the first time for your family – even if you've had (a) son(s) before!]

Some Links about IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

A list of 21 questions,
Triple C - Ceremony, Care, Complications
An old post about this subject of doing research beforehand
The 4 Most Important Questions ("how much will it cost?" is not one of them!)

News Out of Israel

In an article today in Israeli newspaper "Yediot Aharonot" (the Hebrew article is available online here, and the English version is available here), a mohel in the northern part of Israel has been put under a cloud on account of "not doing brisses" according to Jewish law. The article does not call into question the individual's piety or intentions, but that as a practitioner who is required to produce a particular end result according to Jewish law, his practices have produced circumcisions that required regular touch-ups.

The cause for the touch-ups: Not removing enough foreskin.

I've blogged about this before: See here and here and here

It is also important to note that as much as cosmetic touch-ups are annoying and no one should ever need to go through them - not baby and not his parents - the good news is that the surgical touch up usually produces excellent cosmetic results. And if I were to have a choice, I would likely prefer the surgeon have something to work with (the extra skin that was not removed) than to have the baby at the mercy of having had too much skin removed.

Bris For Conversion

There are a few occasions that would warrant what is called in rabbinic terminology "Milah L'Shem Geirut" - מילה לשם גירות - circumcision for the sake of conversion.

1. When a Jewish couple adopts a non-Jewish baby and are committed to raising him according to their lifestyle.

2. When a couple converts to Judaism, and their children convert along with them. Any males who have not been circumcised - from father to adult children to babies - require such a circumcision.

Testimonials

The number of testimonials below reflects only those who have found the time to share their experiences. Others have had glowing thanks, emails and "reviews" but if they don't make it public, I respect their privacy. [typically if one doesn't post here right after the bris, it usually slips the mind]. I don't typically solicit testimonials, so I appreciate everyone who does take the time to share their positive experiences!

If you have any feedback that will help others utilize the same service you received (patience, caring, information, sterility, cleanliness, sensitivity), feel free to leave them in the comments.

If you are comfortable leaving a name or email address, that would be appreciated as well. (if you write it out like "avbillet at gmail dot com" that will help avoid potential spammers - though you may get inquiries from real parents looking to hear from someone other than me about their bris experience.)

Thank you for your trust in me, your patience, and for including me in this special time in your lives, the birth and bris of your son. And if you leave contact information, thank you for availing yourself to others seeking a similar experience to your own.

Avi Billet

The Color White

Nothing represents cleanliness and purity more than the color white. Any image you have in your head of heaven likely includes puffy white clouds and white angels dressed in white garments (to use an anthropomorphic image). A bride wears white on her wedding day, and in Jewish tradition, the groom wears a kittel as well when he and his bride complete the marriage ceremony under the Huppah. White garments (Tachrichim/n) are also placed on the deceased before they are placed in a coffin or are buried directly in the ground, as per the custom in Israel. It is also a widespread custom to wear white on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. There are various reasons given for this, but the attempt to live a symbolic life of purity on these days is unmistakable.

Is the Mohel a Doctor?

This has been coming up a lot lately.

I wear a lab coat at the brisses I do (as you can see under my tallis in the photo on the right), for a few reasons:

1. It looks official
2. It looks clean - can't argue with the whiteness of white (who said I can't be profound?)
3. The lab coat has deep pockets for me to put the things I need accessible at different times through my bris workings.

For people who don't know me, though, it makes them think I am a physician. Which I am not.

Correspondence

This post is not about bris milah per se, but more about how this blog has been received by others.

I have been getting a significantly higher number of emails and phone calls from people asking about circumcision - some from local towns, some from across the country. It is nice to discuss this subject matter with people, and to give them a fresh perspective on this ritual. Many people are truly learning about what they will be going through, and the ability to talk things through is something people have expressed appreciation for having.

I have also been getting attempts at Anonymous postings from people who are anti-circumcision. I don't know why people who post anonymously ever think their opinion will hold any credence.

So, let me clarify. This is not a "pro circumcision website." It is a pro-bris website that is informative for people who are going through this experience. I am not looking to convince people one way or the other - the assumption is being made that you are a parent expecting a child (or holding your newborn), who is just trying to find out information.

On that note, if there is any way I can help in your preparations for the bris, feel free to email or call me.

Thanks for looking and searching through the site. Best of luck with your baby.

A.B.

When Baby is "Born" Through C-Section

The Torah says that when a woman gives birth to a male baby, he is to be circumcised on the eighth day of his life. (Leviticus 12:2-3)

What happens when the birth is not really a "birth"?

Consider this: In "Macbeth," Macduff was able to kill Macbeth, who was unable to be harmed by anyone of woman born, because Macduff was "from his mother's womb untimely ripp'd" — born via a Caesarean section.

A similar thought process occurs in some cases when a child is brought into this world through this abdominal surgical procedure.