An Act of Faith

Life has taken it's toll on blogging, thank God. Our son was born a month ago, and I chose not to repost what I had written the last time this happened. However, I did post the news on my Facebook page, and I was summarily attacked by anti-circumcision advocates who are either self-hating Jews, ignorant Jews or erstwhile anti-Semites. All hiding under the guise of "liberalism." The essential message they share is "I respect your religion until I have problems with your religion." Or perhaps, "You can only observe your religion in the manner that I see fit." Sigh.

As I noted here, Maimonides goes into intricate detail of his view as to why we circumcise our sons. And while one may or may not like his arguments (some of them - certainly when taken out of context, and in either case when not taken in the overall picture of Maimonides' worldview - might be easily misunderstood), I think his view can best be summarized in this one sentence.

No one, however, should circumcise himself or his son for any other reason but pure faith.

It really is as simple as that.

These pages are not really an invitation for debate about the pros and cons of circumcision. The Jewish people do not care if other members of society circumcise, nor do we care if they choose not to circumcise their sons.

For us, the Bris Milah (Covenant over Circumcision) turns the act of circumcision into a Covenental Rite, and the question of the value of the foreskin is not even raised. (There is a very insightful way to understand it if one reads through the Bible (in particular the books of Judges and Samuel) and notes how the words "uncircumcised" or "foreskin" are used).

Bris Milah is an Act of Faith which includes a circumcision. I am truly sorry if that offends people. But our children don't find it offensive (except the self-hating or ignorant Jews as mentioned). And our dedication to this act has outlived all those who were against it before, and it will also outlive the modern day activists.

Getting Around Florida

In the last few weeks I've been as far north as Gainesville (by plane) and Port St. Lucie (by car) and I've gotten inquiries from Naples, Tampa, and Sarasota from parents to be.

I've been recognized by participants who've seen me at other brisses in further from home places.

Which is always very flattering.

Thank God, this mohel in South Florida is getting around.

As always, I appreciate the trust and the opportunity to serve.

Workshops Announcement

Post by Rabbi Avi Billet, Mohel.

The Topic That Won't Go Away

That's right. Another article in the Forward about... metzitzah.

Here is the link. http://forward.com/articles/213364/is-controversial-circumcision-ritual-dangerous/?p=all

Unfortunately, this article is very long and says very little. It may have some or most of its facts straight, but there are too many questions left unanswered.

Of course, much of this is a response to this article I neglected to post last week.
http://hamodia.com/2015/01/13/dna-tests-clear-mohalim-rockland-calls-nyc-shift-course/


The bottom line is that - as I wrote in my article in the Jewish Week - nothing will change based on the outside. The change must come from within. Rabbis must teach their constituents that this practice is no longer acceptable, and they must insist and demand that the mohels stop performing it.

When the internal community pressure brings about a cessation of direct contact metzitzah, these stories will cease to occur.

We will also rid this horrible "chillul Hashem" from our midst (just see the way the obviously not-Jewish media paints the metzitzah ritual).

The Basic Information - All You Need to Know Consolidated

I get many phone inquiries months in advance of births. Sometimes the baby is a boy, and sometimes the parents don’t know yet. (Obviously those who know they are having girls don’t call!)

I am always happy to discuss all matters in advance of the bris. But for ease of reference, here is all the information you need (some of these links are at the top of the page as well).  Of course, any topic you'd like to research more can be found in the Topical Index.

This is the Process most go through to prepare for the bris before baby is even born (and continuing as outlined below)

If baby has been born and you haven't booked your mohel yet, stop everything and call ASAP: 516-850-9694  [Please make sure only ONE person from the family is hiring a mohel to avoid booking two people for the same job]

                

Here are the supplies you need for the bris, and for the aftercare.

If you want to consider procuring a numbing agent for the bris (most people don't), here is information about analgesics that might be helpful to you - speak with your pediatrician if you need a prescription.

                

Here are the honors you need to think about and assign for the bris ceremony

                

Here is a summary of what a classic bris ceremony looks like.     

                         

Here is a basic summary of what will happen to your baby in the course of thecircumcision, including the methods of circumcision generally used by mohels (I use #2, and I do not own any clamps).

                

Here are the instructions for post-bris wound care.

                

Here is an explanation of how things will look like in the few days and weeks following the bris.

                

Here is a long term care reminder for some babies, and another for babies who gather much baby fat over the next several months. 

Here is a link to the Honorarium page - guide to figuring out what the bris costs. It is different for everyone (there is much flexibility), but costs and considerations are explained here

I have written several letters, either directly to the new Mom, to the husband of that new mom, and even to baby's grandparents who forget their role. All those letters and more are linked here, including how to deal with the unique circumstance of where there is no bris.

In 2018, I penned this SOCIAL MEDIA WARNING, because I discovered that crazy people scour Facebook (and other platforms) to be disgusting towards people who are proud that they are bringing their baby into the Mark of the Covenant. 

Unrelated to Bris, here are two posts on Parenting Tips - which may be helpful to first time parents:

1. Tricks for Changing Diapers, Keeping Things Clean, and Calming a Baby

2. Feeding, Calming, Medicating?, Diaper Rashes, Thoughts on Sleeping

****************************************************
Update from 2016 - I am including links to the tools of the trade blog posts here - which will give you a great overview of all the things used at the bris, and how they are utilized.

SHIELD              TUBE               KNIFE              PROBE             HEMOSTATS 

MARKER              GLOVES             NUMBING

Another Metzitzah Tale Gone Bad

NOT BY ME, of course. This is out of New York. My method is completely safe, as there is no contact or transfer of fluid from mohel to baby (or vice versa).

See here: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/jewish-baby-contracted-herpes-bris-article-1.2055911

This story has a happier ending, as it seems the baby has been treated and will be OK.

But the beginning of the story is not so happy, because this baby should have never needed this kind of treatment.

A bris done under sterile conditions - with metzitzah being accomplished via sterile tube - does not produce an infection.

Properly sterilized instruments, sterile gloves, a sterile metzitzah tube, sterile bandages + the correct amount of skin being removed = job well done, quick healing time, healthy baby.

End of story.

Mouth on baby and whatever other ingredient which removes another step of sterility = good chance of infection.

I am not ashamed to be a mohel. But I am ashamed to share in a profession in which practices that can lead to this result (herpes infection on a newborn) are maintained by fellow practitioners, and desired by an ignorant herd who do not think for themselves and demand otherwise from their mohels.

Many non-observant Jews ask me "What is your policy on metzitzah?" (here it is)

This should be the FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION ALL NEW PARENTS ASK. And if the mohel puts his mouth directly on the baby, IT IS TIME TO CALL A DIFFERENT MOHEL WHO PRACTICES OTHERWISE.

We need to put these guys out of business, or force them to change their ways.

No baby need ever be put at risk, even the slightest risk, beyond the risk of the circumcision itself, which is commanded to us in our Torah. But metzitzah is not a commandment. And this method should be banned by rabbis, community leaders, parents, and mohels. NO MORE EXCUSES.

When Bris is on a Fast Day (Tosafos insights)

In a much larger Talmudic discussion (Eruvin 40b) that involves the question of whether one must eat/drink after saying a blessing (instead of having someone else, such as a child drink), as well as the propriety of giving alcohol to children, Tosafos record two stories, which are instructive as to how people conduct themselves with reference to eating and drinking on a fast day.

I share because when there is a bris on a fast day (10th of Tevet, referenced below, is coming up), this information is instructive.

תוספות מסכת עירובין דף מ עמוד ב 
ומעשה היה בחופה בעשרה בטבת נתנו הכוס לתינוק לשתות [ומעשה היה בברית מילה ברבינו יעקב בר יקר שחל עשרה באב בא' בשבת והוא היה אב"ד וצוה להתפלל מנחה גדולה ורחצו ואכלו מפני שי"ט שלהן היה כדכתיב שש אנכי כו' והאי דלא מברכינן שהחיינו משום צערא דינוקא תוס' שאנ"ץ].

"It happened that there was a wedding on the 10th of Tevet (a fast day), and they gave the cup (of wine) to a child to drink (the word "Tinok" means baby - but sometimes refers to a child)."

"It happened that there was a bris with Rabbi Yaakov bar Yakar which fell on the 10th of Av which fell on Sunday (meaning it was the day they were observing the 9th of Av fast, pushed to Sunday). He was the Head of the Rabbinic Court. He instructed everyone to pray the early Mincha, and then to wash and eat, for it was a Yom Tov for them, as it says, 'I rejoice at the fulfillment of Your word...'

And the reason we do not say "Shehechiyanu" at a bris is because of the pain the child experiences."

When we say a blessing over wine on a fast day, we have the custom to give the wine to the child - which at a bris is the baby. This may or may not be the source for our giving wine to the baby at every bris anyway.

But the points we take from these tales for bris practices on fast days are the following:
1. The easiest person to give to drink on a fast day is the baby
2. A fast day which is pushed off, even a fast day as important as 9 Av, is a day when participants at the bris may eat. While this is not a common practice, it is mostly due to lack of awareness of the rules.
3. A baby does feel pain at a bris. This is not something we celebrate through the recitation of Shehechiyanu. [This is a confirmation that this mitzvah is one of the rare mitzvos in the Torah that has pain associated with it (the other being fasting on Yom Kippur). This is why numbing the baby is advocated, while some argue that the speed in which we operate serves as its own numbing.]

News Monitor: the circumcision debate

This debate has been ongoing for many decades, with medical views going back and forth on the subject of "to circ or not to circ." This is the latest installment (text embedded below).

As always, this is irrelevant to the Jewish people on account of it merely being a footnote to why we do what we do.

But the STD concern is real.

See also this article and newsreel from today.com

Yer Lookin Quite Good Yerself

Because we live in an increasingly depressing world, there are things that I must do and that I cannot do in order to maintain that my interest in this field (bris milah) is solely for the mitzvah - helping parents fulfill their biblically mandated requirement to have their sons circumcised to bear the mark of the Covenant.

This is why, as much as I want to share before and after photos so parents can know what to expect, I am resigned to explain it in words, leaving photos out.

This is why my care for most children ends one or two days after the bris, when things are healing nicely and I know that as long as post bris care follows my instructions, everything will be fine.

I have a colleague who likes to offer the change the baby's diaper if he bumps into the parents weeks down the road - it's his way of checking his handiwork to assure that all is healing as it should.

I am not so bold, and I don't ask parents for such opportunities. However, every now and then a parent will have a question or wants me to assure that all is good (especially if we left things as "let's keep in touch to see how things heal") and I get a chance to see how things have healed.  This happened twice this week, and I am happy to report wonderful healing processes.

It is always flattering to see such beautiful results from one's handiwork.  I hope they all turn out this way.

God bless!

Minhagei Worms, Germany (2 of 2)

The first installment is the previous posting. Here are a few more gems from the book "Minhagei Vorms."

1. Rabbenu Tam would be sure to stand during Torah reading and during a bris. The reason for standing during the bris was the same verse from Melachim II 23:3 - that the people stood at the covenant. The reason why the person saying the bracha needs to be standing is because of a comparison from the word לכם to the word לכם that we learn from ספירת העומר. Just as by the counting of the Omer the Torah tells us וספרתם לכם, the Torah tells us regarding the bris, המול לכם כל זכר. Just as we stand for counting the Omer, we stand for the bris. 

2. When there is a bris associated with שחרית we have a custom not to say עלינו until after the bris is over (most shuls today finish davening and then repeat עלינו, but that may be because many mothers bring their babies to the bris a little later than the end of davening (and some mohels have the bad habit of coming late*), and it takes a few minutes from baby's arrival before the bris begins). Why is עלינו not recited until after the bris is over? Because we say in עלינו the following phrase: "שלא עשנו כגויי הארצות" - that He did not make us like the nations of the land. When the child is uncircumcised, he is like the nations of the land. When he is circumcised, we can mark his entry into the mark of the covenant by including him in the missive that we are different from them. 

* I pride myself on coming on time, and not double booking, in order to be sensitive to everyone's schedule. 

3. Why is there a custom to have a party for a bris? There is a gemara that says that "all mitzvos that the Jews accepted with joy they still fulfill with joy" (i.e. with a party), and the classic example is bris milah. 

Furthermore, we are told that Avraham made a big part ביום הגמל את יצחק, Another way to read that is that Avraham made a big party ביום ה+ג מל את יצחק. On day (5+3=8) Avraham מל (circumcized) Yitzchak. And that's when he made the big party - at Yitzchak's bris!

4, We have the custom to say that just as the child entered the covenant so should he enter
"Torah, Huppah, and Maasim Tovim" - learning about (and living based on ) the Torah; the marital canopy; and a life of good deeds. In the footnote on this pronouncement, the author writes "I've been asked many times why Huppah precedes good deeds. Why can't it be the other way around? And I don't really have a good answer."

But I (AB) have a good answer. Simply put, one who does good deeds before marriage knows that a volunteer may step away at any time. But one who is married, in a committed relationship, cannot just go when things are rough. It is true that "chesed begins at home" and a life of good deeds truly begins AFTER marriage, when a person should do good deeds because it makes the other person's life easier and better. It isn't voluntary in the way one can just walk away when one is done. It is a commitment that one sticks with no matter what (again, in a lasting relationship) that outweighs any sense of "I'm volunteering and can walk away whenever I like."

Some of these vignettes are really fantastic. I hope you enjoy them as I have.