A Thought on Metzitzah

According to the Talmud, there are a few steps that need to be followed when doing a bris properly. Incidentally, I am choosing not to "number" the steps, due to the variating ways people choose to read the Talmudic passage of the bottom of Shabbat 133a:

עושין כל צרכי מילה [בשבת] מוהלין ופורעין ומוצצין ונותנין עליה איספלנית וכמון
On the Sabbath, we do everything that needs to be done for the circumcision: Remove the foreskin, remove the membrane from the glans, draw out blood, put on a bandage and cumin.

The Talmud goes on to say that even if the cumin had not been properly prepared (crushed or ground) before the Sabbath, one could grind it with his teeth on the Sabbath, an act which would generally be forbidden on the Sabbath - but is permitted, presumably on account of the role the herb/spice would play in stopping the blood and healing the wound.

The differences in the reading open up a debate as to whether metzitzah, which I have defined as "drawing out blood" is considered to be: a. part of the steps of the process, or b. a suggested component that the Talmud records as the best known form of helping the wound heal.

If it is the former, then metzitzah must be done at every bris [how the blood is drawn is a topic of a different discussion, and of much debate, particularly in ultra-Orthodox and some Haredi/Hassidic circles]. If it is the latter, perhaps it need not be done,

A Consultant

People call for all kinds of reasons. Some are looking to "book a mohel right now." Others are expecting a baby in a few months and are doing research. Others don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl, but are preparing nonetheless, just in case.

Barring unforeseen circumstances, such as a health concerns, the bris usually takes place on the eighth day of the baby's life. Even though mostly everyone knows this, sometimes people - in the heat of the excitement - forget that mohels are used to being called after the baby is born. I blogged about this a long time ago, and tried to make light of the possibilities of when to call the mohel to book the bris itself.

There is never a wrong time to do research pre-birth.

A Wonderful Relationship

In general, this blog is dedicated to sharing information with those looking to explore the significance and practical sides of bris milah.

On the one hand, it is meant to answer questions you may have related to the significance of the mitzvah, the specific practices, the rituals, the pieces of the ceremony that have been introduced and innovated over the centuries.

On the other hand, it is meant to provide you with hands-on information that is most useful for the parent who wants to know what happens during a bris, what happens to the baby, what the healing process is, and how things will be different after the bris. It also provides information for first time parents (or first-time parents of a boy who may already have a daughter or two (or more!)) about what needs to be done to put together a bris. You may have friends who will help you, but if you have trouble finding information, it's all here.

So, in this posting, I will detour to the personal side of this role I play from time to time.

I was invited to perform the bris for the second son of a friend of mine, who I've known for close to thirty years. (I had the honor of doing their first son's bris two and a half years ago) We'd been in and out of touch for the better part of our formative years, but a reconnection 6 years ago tightened our friendship to this day. I am better off because of it, and for that I am grateful.

I cannot express in words how special it feels to play such a significant role at any family's bris. Being invited into the inner circle at such a significant time, being given a tremendous level of trust and good faith is something I cherish from all the people who call me at this joyous, yet vulnerable time in a family's growth.

And when the parents of the baby are such dear friends, the feeling is exponentially greater.

And so NOA, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being true friends,

What's In A Name?

Many bris speeches tend to focus on explaining the name that has been given to the baby.

Often enough he is named for a family member who has passed on, such as a grandparent or great grandparent, or an uncle or some other distant relative. Some families opt to name a boy after a grandmother - obviously he is not given the woman's name, but he may be given the same first initial. Grandma Nettie will become Natan. Great-Aunt Shirley will become Shlomo.

At its core, the practice is simple. Carry on a name, retain a heritage.

On a deeper level, we fondly recall those who are gone when we think about the name we have given this child, and we hope the name, and all it represents to us, will be embodied by the child who now carries it.

How travelingmohel.com helped me

Since moving to Florida from New York, I have had a number of past "clients" and new clients call me to perform their son's bris in New York. If it works out schedulewise, I am happy to do it.

Many more have called from New York, but when I told them I'm in Florida, they opted to go local. Which is understandable.

Traveling gave me the idea to create travelingmohel.com, but it also forced me to become an even better mohel.

A Long-Term Care Reminder

One question that comes up a lot, particularly when a baby boy is 4-12 months of age is, "Why doesn't it look circumcized?" (I get this a lot more often when I wasn't the mohel, but every now and then if I was)

In most cases, "it" actually does look circumcised, except that a minor issue needs to be tweaked.

Before I continue, let me be clear that this may be difficult to understand without the visual image, but I will do my best!

Clench your fist, and look at the profile of your arm. Imagine the fist is the glans, and your arm is the penile shaft, and you understand what the penis should look like from the side. The glans should sit above the shaft, and its outer rim should be completely separate and distinct from the shaft.

UNFORTUNATELY, not all parents realize this should be the case, until it is slightly too late.

What do I mean by slightly too late? I mean

Emotions Overtake Us

At today's bris, the baby's father served as the mohel.

You may ask, "what does that have to do with you?"

I'll answer: I set it all up for him, and he was the one who said the blessing and did the incision. And why not? It is, after all, the father's mitzvah!

As long as you know what you're doing, and have an awareness of the anatomy and what takes place at a bris, this can be the most genuine way for a non-mohel father to perform the mitzvah.

Taking Decor to a Whole New Level

In my time as a mohel, I have worked with over a thousand people. In all this time, I have worked at brisses on every point on the extremity line.

The smallest event was attended by three people. It was in a tiny apartment, with people who did not want anyone present beyond the baby's parents and the sandak.

I am debating in my mind which of a few events qualify as the biggest event. Should I consider the one with seven hundred guests the biggest? How about the Independence Day triplets (all boys)? Perhaps the one in a Jewish Center of a wealthy community, which had bounce-houses, a magic show, and other events for the children while the adults had an endless supply of Kosher Chinese food?

I guess everything is relative.

UNTIL NOW

I have NEVER seen anything like this before. The Jewish Hostess... I don't know what to say!

Let's try this - the standing lollypops are made up of flowers.


No. I was not the mohel at this event.

But if anyone would like me to be a mohel at a similar event, my phone number is 516 850 9694. Call whenever you like.

Symbolism I - 'ala Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch was one of the great leaders of German Jewry in the 19th century. His vast legacy includes significant works of scholarship and thought that continue to speak to us to this day. While some might suggest were he living now he'd be a champion of "Modern Orthodoxy," I question this premise simply because I don't think the label is very fair to modernity or to Orthodoxy. So we'll leave politics aside for now.

Hirsch's "Collected Writings Volume III" is dedicated to his studies of Symbolism in Jewish life. One of his primary foci is on the mitzvah of Bris Milah. I intend to share some of his teachings through a series of blog postings on this subject.

The following comes from his "preview" of the subject, which appears in his overview of the book, the chapter on "Symbols in Jewish History." (pages 23-24)

The forefather has been promised the nation and the land. He was already ninety-nine years old and his wife eighty nine, when the scion who was to be the bearer of this promise was begotten. But even as the original inhabitants of the promised land will lose the land only because they had forfeited their moral stature, so too, the fulfillment of the promise, the emergence of the nation and its possession of the land were to be dependent on Israel's attaining and maintaining its moral greatness. The resolve to achieve this end, and the acceptance of this obligation, were to precede the birth of the first scion. A year prior to Isaac's birth, God appeared to Abraham and said to him, "Conduct yourself before Me and be whole." (Genesis 17:1)

In that momentous utterance God expressed the full extent of this moral condition for the survival and prosperity of the promised nation. התהלך לפני! Conduct yourself before Me. Do so without any inducements from the outside, indeed,, if need be, even in opposition to all outside influences, והיה תמים, and be "whole." The adjective תמים "whole" (or "perfect") is the most flagrant antithesis to רעע, "broken." Be whole! Let all the aspects of your life, physical and spiritual, all of your character, be governed freely by one principle; subordinate yourself entirely, unconditionally, to the One sole God. This is the condition for the survival and prosperity of the promised nation, this the obligation in the Divine covenant to be assumed by Abraham and his people. Abraham fell upon his face and dedicated himself completely to the fulfillment of this obligation. However, the mission that was to be the everlasting foundation for the spiritual and moral development of the nation in every aspect of its life was not to be entrusted to the spoken word alone. "Now then," thus God concluded the verbal announcement of His covenant, "circumcised the flesh of your foreskin, so that it may become the sign of the covenant between Me and you. Thus My covenant upon your body shall become an everlasting covenant, and an uncircumcised male who does not circumcise the flesh of his foreskin, his soul shall be eliminated from the community of its people; he has broken My covenant!" (Genesis 17:11-14)

Is not the circumcised foreskin a symbol, and circumcision a symbolic act? Are both not אות ברית, symbol of the covenant that calls out to everyone who bears it upon his flesh the eternal admonition: התהלך לפני והיה תמים!

To be continued...

Knowing What To Expect Afterwards

[For much more detail on this subject, click here. The short version follows.]

When your child is circumcised, it is a good idea to get a good feel for how long the healing process takes.

In most cases, I need to see the baby only once after the bris, often enough to remove a bandage, but even when the bandage comes off on its own, just to see that everything is healing nicely. This has changed the time frame of my care for the baby - I used to see the baby, in some cases, two whole days after the bris. Now I see him within a few hours.

I FIND SEEING THE BABY A FEW HOURS AFTER THE BRIS TO BE MUCH BETTER: FOR THE BABY, FOR HIS PARENTS, AND YES, EVEN FOR THE MOHEL

There are mohels who like to see the baby a few days later, or even to see how things are looking a few weeks later. This is admirable.

At the same time, in the event that something is not OK at that two week period, there is really nothing that a mohel could/should do at that point. Any "correction" should be taken care of right away, which would perhaps necessitate an additional follow-up visit.

In simple terms:
* The glans (tip of penis) should be a dark red, and the extent of its outline - like a helmet on a head - should be visible all around
* There will or will not be remains of a membrane below the glans (also a dark red, though a slightly different hue). It is often swollen, though to what degree depends on how much membrane is present.
* The skin where the incision took place should be identifiable below the glans or membrance, and should be as close to even in its circumference around the shaft. Depending on the baby's anatomy, in some cases, the mohel might cut at more of an angle, to compensate for a differently angled glans.

If this is what things look like after the bandage comes off (with the caveat of the possibility of some swelling below the glans), all your baby needs is "time." Some colors may emerge (white, yellow, green) that are just the way the area scabs. But even all this goes away within a couple of days, and certainly very quickly once ointments (vaseline or similar product) are no longer applied to the area.

For instructions on how to care for baby, see here