What Makes YOU Different?

Someone recently asked me that - in the context of our talking about bris milah and this vocation of mine. Good question.
While some of the things I am about to describe are true with some mohels, I aim to bring them all together.

• The Main difference is that I view the bris experience as an educational experience. I aim to share as much information as I can share with you, so you understand what will be happening to your son, and what you are really asking me to do on your behalf.
• I am one of very few mohels who uses a surgical marker (or any magic marker) to guide the incision I will make during the bris. [Most mohels (arrogantly, in my opinion) "estimate" the foreskin, and don't pay much attention to aesthetics. I know it is important to you, however, and it is therefore extremely important to me that I 'get it right.' Using the marker assures a significantly more consistent result.]
• I spend the time getting to know you, getting a feel for who you are and what you want the bris experience to be. You are never "a number"
• From when bris mode sets in (beginning with our pre-bris meeting or phone conversation - not the "booking" but the "let's go over all the details" one) I am completely at your service until the last time I feel I need to see your baby. I communicate, call, keep you informed of all you need to know. If your home is within driving distance (as opposed to if I came by plane), I can come visit anytime you want afterwards to see how things are looking and let you know of what is still to come. 
• Depending on your particular needs - participation of men, women, family, friends; as well as accomodations for religious observance and preference - I hope to tailor the bris ceremony and experience to your liking.
• I don't have a particular formula that I use every time - it is more like a very loose script that guides our way, but is open to much ad-libbing. All to make each bris unique and special for its participants.
• I am a superstickler for sterility

    - using sterile gloves (many mohels opt for non-sterile, which are less expensive)
    - creating a sterile field for the bris (as is done in an operating room)
    - metzitza with a tube stuffed with gauze - no passage of saliva/blood between mohel and baby
    - all sterilized instruments, drapes and bandages are opened for the first time at the bris

• I am extremely careful to leave your baby with a clean bandage, after having observed for the requisite amount of time that his wound has clotted and that he is not bleeding.
• I give you full instructions for how to care for the wound after the bris, and what you will be seeing.

I hope you will consider utilizing my services, and I appreciate the trust and confidence you put in me. 

Important Reminders

Sometimes I put the most important information at the end of a seemingly unrelated post. Then it gets lost in translation.  At the end of this post, I wrote the following:


He's YOUR baby, you have a right to choose whom you'll hire.  You have the responsibility to ask all the right questions to every mohel you interview before you settle on the one you want. 


And you also must take care to know what you are looking for to have the right kind of experience for your needs.  Always remember that the wrong attitude is not to ask.


I wish everyone best of look in having a positive experience the first time, and in learning what you need to know in order to make it so. I look forward to working with you.

Personal Advertisement

I have to do this every now and then. :)

I have joined facebook! There is a "Rabbi Avi Billet, Mohel" fan page which I would appreciate if you signed up to (or at least click that you Like It).

I will be blogging on my new blog: thebrisblog.wordpress.com (for now) as well - and that will be the primary feeder to the fan page.

Understanding, of course, that participation in Bris Milah is only relevant to most people in the few days from the birth of their son(s) until a few days after the bris, nonetheless, it is important to me all year round, which is why I do what I do, and why I am doing what I can to have more of an internet presence.

Thanks for your support and your friendship!

Avi Billet

When the Baby Dies Naturally - Stillborn, complications from birth, etc

THIS IS A VERY SENSITIVE SUBJECT.

I was asked recently "what is the practice when a boy is born either stillborn or dies shortly after his birth? Is he to be circumcised?"

The simple answer is that it is up to the parents and what they want to have done. What follows is a more detailed analysis of the sources that address this topic, and what rabbis through the centuries had to say about it.

Remembering Our Roles

I tell this story to a lot of grandparents that I meet at brisses.

At a recent bris, in which I knew one set of grandparents (mother's family) very well for a long time (they have other grandchildren as well) but did not know the grandparents who became "first-timers" with the arrival of this baby, my first encounter with first-time Grandma went as follows.

I was in the private room preparing the baby, when the baby's father's mother walked in.

She promptly announced: "I am the mother-in-law."

To which I said, "You mean you are the grandmother."

And she said, "Me? I'm not the grandmother!" Then she thought about it a second and said, "O Right! I AM the grandmother! I guess I better get used to that."

Don't worry. You will!

Mazal Tov!

Shalom Zachar thoughts

When my son was born towards the end of 2009, I prepared a class about the custom to have a Shalom Zachar on the first Friday evening after the baby's birth.

I summarized the class online - it can be found in my other blog over here

Once I posted the audio class (previous post), I thought to share this one as well.

Enjoy!

Significance of Bris Milah

Click here for an audio presentation on this subject (54 minutes).
[The link sends you to Yeshiva University's online Torah website - yutorah.org]

San Francisco Ban - The Latest

The latest on the San Francisco ban-circumcision bill - a look at the people behind the bill, and some interesting observations about the Jewish community. It seems that even in San Francisco, where you have Jews of all colors and stripes, some of whom support circumcision and some of whom oppose it, are unanimous in their belief that a ban on circumcision is the wrong way to go.

As I have said before, the debate is legitimate, and the choice that parents make for their child is deeply personal. But making it illegal has no place in the United States of America.

Here is an article you may find of interest, from the Jewish Journal (reproduced in full below - minus the graphics - in case the link becomes inactive)

Except for the sub-headlines, the parts that are in bold are suggestive points that I have highlighted and emphasized due to their significance in this overall discussion (sometimes my point is to highlight what I see as an indication that the speaker or person in question is either hypocritical or operating with a loose screw or two)


June 21, 2011

The great California foreskin fight of 2011

By Jonah Lowenfeld

When Baby is Really Small

A baby can only be given his bris when he is completely healthy.  When he is a preemie, or otherwise small, is he considered unhealthy?

For bris purposes, any baby over 6 pounds can be considered a "full term baby," regardless of how many weeks early he may be born. Barring any other health concerns, the bris should be on time.

A full term baby who weighs less - though almost all full-term babies are over five pounds - can also have the bris on time.

A preemie - fewer than 36 weeks, will almost always have his bris delayed until he gets a little bigger.

Many mohels have a "kabbalah" (an accepted practice passed from teacher to student) not to do a bris on a baby who is under five pounds. I have an ongoing debate with the grandfather of a set of triplets I circumcised many years ago, because he felt I was randomly picking a weight in order to have all three boys be circumcised on the same day (they all had different weights at birth - the brisses were delayed but ended up taking place on the same day). But it isn't random - a five pound baby has a different look than even a 4 lbs. 10 oz. baby.

In my case, the only exceptions I will make in order to circumcize a baby weighing fewer than 5 pounds are:
A. If the baby is full term, and both of his parents happen to be below average size
B. A case such as the triplets, where the baby is a few weeks old, in perfect health, and is gaining 1-2 ounces a day, and he has a brother who is also ready, whose bris is scheduled. If the baby is in the 4 lbs and double digit ounces range, I will consider circumcising him at the same time as his twin/triplet brother.

No indication of anti-Semitism HERE... (NOT)

The ballot in San Francisco looms nearer and proponents of the circumcision ban claim that their only agenda is to protect babies who have no ability to defend themselves, who are not given a choice not to circumcise. "It should be their choice to make when they're older, if they want it."

Let's leave aside the argument that most people really don't care if they were circumcised. And let's also leave aside the argument that for those who do "choose" circumcision, they generally much prefer (and appreciate) that it was taken care of for them when they were babies, rather than having to go through the ordeal as an older person.

The Jewish community in particular, those who respect the Torah and Mitzvot and (at least minimally) believe that the Covenant of Circumcision is a fundamental tenet of our faith, is aghast that policies of czarist Russia and many other historically anti-Semitic regimes are actually being considered for a vote in religiously-free (and tolerant) America.

Proponents claim their is no anti-Jewish bias in the proposed ban. None. It's all about the babies.

Mmm hmmm.

Then what is this?