The Life and Times

Being a mohel is not a full-time occupation of mine. Sure, there are times I wish it could be. But between there being many mohels here in South Florida and whatever factors, it is not the reality now. Which is fine. Every mohel has very busy weeks with between 5 and 10 brisses, and every mohel has the occasional lull with 0 brisses in a week.

Thank God, I have other things going on in life, so my mohel blogging has taken a small hit, and I apologize to those who have found this blog helpful, that I haven't been updating.

And yet, those who have taken the time to search the blog have given me wonderful feedback, in person and through email, about how much they appreciated what has been "published" thus far. And for that I am grateful.

Here is to a busy but good life! In which there is much more diversity than brisses. And in which there is more to life than blogging. :)

Always grateful to those who put their trust and baby's bris needs to my hands.

Shalom - peace and nachas to you and your families.

A Busy Weekend

Three brisses this weekend - in Boynton Beach, Coconut Creek and Miami Beach.

That about sums up South Florida Jewry for you.

Peace!

Sterilize and Reuse or Disposable?

I was recently asked how I sterilize my equipment (answer: autoclave, except for the scalpel blades which are used once and discarded), and if I was open to the parents buying their own set of instruments for the bris for one time use to be disposed of afterwards?

Answer: I am open to it - by all means! As long as it is an expense the parents want to bear.

There are different companies outside of the USA who specialize in providing such merchandise/ equipment. It works in Europe. But I don't know how popular such an approach would be in this country.

Most people want to pay an all inclusive honorarium (however that is calculated) to a mohel, and don't want to bother with added expenses.

Of course, if a mohel wants to open such a possibility to parents, I suppose parents who want to could go the route of buying these things themselves.

Here are a couple of kits I found online. If you are interested - good luck with your purchase!

http://www.bris-milah.com/ [This one is clearly marketed to mohels... but give a call!]

http://www.brithmila.com/brith-kit/kit-brit-milah.html

News Monitor: Israel and Europe

jpost.com has a number of articles on the role Europe is taking in the modern circumcision debate.

Here is the latest.

http://www.jpost.com/Diplomacy-and-Politics/Shas-Yesh-Atid-MKs-unite-in-fighting-European-anti-circumcision-measure-334548

Shas, Yesh Atid MKs unite in fighting European anti-circumcision measure

By LAHAV HARKOV

12/10/2013 13:11

In a rare case of cooperation, Knesset members from both factions to head to Paris to battle resolution.

Baby undergoes circumcision Photo: REUTERS

In a rare case of cooperation between Shas and Yesh Atid, MKs headed to the Council of Europe’s Presidium in Paris Tuesday evening to continue battling anti-circumcision measures on the continent.

MK Reuven Rivlin (Likud Beytenu) led the delegation, which includes MKs Yitzhak Vaknin (Shas) and Ronen Hoffman (Yesh Atid), to fight a Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe (PACE ) resolution protecting children’s rights to their bodies. The measure – proposed by German MP Marlene Ruprecht and passed on October 1 – could be understood as banning ritual male circumcision for children, along with female circumcision, tattoos and body piercing for those under 18.

The initiative is non-binding, but member states take PACE votes seriously. The Knesset has made significant efforts to collect signatures from European parliamentarians on a counter- resolution it seeks to pass in April, reaching 102 signatures as opposed to 77 MPs who voted for the anti-circumcision measure.

The Rivlin-led delegation will meet with leaders of four of the Council of Europe’s five factions to convince them to put the Knesset’s counter-resolution on the PACE agenda for either late January or April. The Presidium, which consists of faction chairpeople, will set the agenda for those two meetings on December 15.

According to Rivlin, the anti-circumcision measure “is not a legitimate decision, and it is a joint goal of Jews, Muslims and anyone who believes in freedom of religion and conscience to cancel it.”

Rivlin, Vaknin and Hoffman plan to meet with party leaders and members of the Council of Europe’s Presidium and present them with the 102 signatures from PACE members, aiming to show that the original measure was passed unfairly when only a small number of MPs were present.

The Likud Beytenu MK expressed concern that parliaments in Europe would adopt the resolution and expand it to other religious customs, such as kosher slaughter, which is illegal in several European states.

“We want to make it clear to the Europeans that even if it’s legitimate for them to intervene in diplomatic or regional issues, it is not legitimate for them to be involved in Judaism and freedom of religion,” Rivlin added.

In their meetings with European MPs, MKs used research by the American Pediatric Association touting the health benefits of circumcision – including halving the risk of contracting HIV through intercourse – to show that the procedure is not a danger to children. They also cited studies by ethicists showing that it is not an ethical issue for a parent to circumcise a boy for his future benefit, even if he does not have a say in the matter.

In addition, last month, The Journal of Sexual Medicine published a peer-reviewed study by researchers at the University of Sydney proving circumcision does not reduce sexual pleasure.

Rivlin, Vaknin and Hoffman will also attend a meeting of PACE ’s Diplomatic Committee on the status of the Palestinian delegation, which was declared a “partner for democracy” two years ago. In addition, they will meet with French MPs and members of the Jewish community in Paris.

Bringing Kids To A Bris

Obviously the baby...

At what age is it appropriate for a child to attend a bris?

I think any age is appropriate to be there for the celebration and party. The question is really about what they need to know and where they need to be during the circumcision portion of the event.

For whatever reason, children gravitate towards the scene of the action. While this is a good quality to have, it is probably not the best thing at a bris. The baby is crying, surgical instruments are being used, and of course, the act of circumcision itself (removal of the foreskin) is not the visual a child needs to have in his or her brain.

I always instruct kids under 12 or 13 to move back, which they typically do begrudgingly.

If they are a little older, I try to judge - in my brief interaction with them - if they are acting maturely and can stomach what will take place. If yes and yes, they can stay. If not, then I politely but firmly request that they move further back.

As far as younger children goes, parents are very creative in explaining to them what is taking place.

I personally prefer honesty, but you have to know your child and what s/he will understand.

"We are going to the party for the baby." (not enough information)
"We have a special mitzvah to remove a small piece of skin from the baby."
"A rabbi/dr/man called a "mohel" is going to do this. The baby will cry a little, but he's going to be OK."

To a boy some parents add, "You had a bris when you were a baby, at the same age. Do you remember it? Did you even know that you had that happen?"

Most kids don't push much more. They were curious, the question was answered - it is honest and correct, without giving too much information that might scare a child.

Of course once the circumcision is over and the baby is out of the room, no explanation is needed to enjoy a party! Cheers!

Awareness Factor

Parents of a new baby have different approaches to hiring a mohel.

Some call the mohel based on the recommendation of friends. They have no questions. Their friend had a good experience and they want the same. 

Some call many mohels, ask a few questions to each, and try to find the mohel that best fits their needs.

Parents who have been through the bris process before - whether once, twice, or more - more or less know from experience what they want the bris to be like. If they were satisfied in earlier brisses, they'll call their mohel back each time. (Unless they've moved states, or he's moved! Though I've had a number of people call me from NY, my old stomping grounds, and I still go back there on occasion for repeat customers)

In this past week alone, I've met with a couple of families dealing with their third boy (I did not do any of their previous brisses), and they articulated to me why they called me this time.

Their concerns included that a previous mohel did not and refused to wear gloves

They were unsatisfied with a previous mohel's standards of cleanliness and sterility

In their most recent bris, the bandage came off and there was blood everywhere (here's why this should not happen)

They wanted to understand metzitzah and why previous mohels insisted on doing it the way which does not conform to their sensibilities (see also here and here)

One wanted to know if I use a clamp.    I do not.

ASKING IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY. Here are links from the Topical Index about important questions to raise before the bris

Good Questions to Ask ANY Mohel
Prioritizing Our Questions
Wrong Attitude is NOT to Ask

FAQ - Summary (links to answers to the questions) - Shorter Answers Appear in a Link at the top of the page
Inquiries Welcome

CONCERNS - SUMMARY OF IMPORTANT LINKS

GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING! Be in touch with your inquiries!

Achieving Perfection

Every mohel worth his sense tries to get a perfect circumcision every time. Some estimate the foreskin - others (I wish it were many more) use a surgical marker to note where the edge of the foreskin is (I offer for parents to see what this refers to when we meet in advance of the bris).

Any circumcision must account for a little bit of human imperfection - and I love quoting the line of the urologist grandfather who told me, "The penis is a very forgiving organ" meaning that for all the circumcisions that don't look perfect that he sees, most turn out fine on account of the way this organ heals over time.

While I have had my share of "perfect jobs," it would be dishonest for me (or any mohel, or any surgeon) to say that EVERY procedure goes perfectly without a hitch. Many do. But there are those that are a little more complicated. Thankfully, many "hitches" (when they occur) can be corrected, and I try to fix them ASAP after the bris. 

So what is referred to by "Achieving Perfection?"

It is the instruction given to Avraham at his bris! "Avraham - walk before me and become perfect" (some translate perfect as "complete." The Hebrew word is "Tamim" = תמים.)

The perspective of Jews that have always embraced circumcision as a mitzvah is that the act of circumcision makes the Jewish male complete.

[The thought process continues suggesting that women do not need a circumcision because they are created physically complete.]

Anti-circumcision people sometimes argue that a baby is born perfect. What gives us the right to do anything to the child.

It is a good argument. But it is ignorant of Jewish knowledge. Which is why we ignore it.

Parents cut umbilical cords, they cut hair, they cut fingernails, they clean out earwax, they pierce ears, they put injections, blood tests, and in some cases choose surgery as an option for either an emergency reason, or, in some cases, a cosmetic reason (yes! even on babies!). 

So we will continue to aim to achieve the perfection God spoke of in Genesis 17 (and we will not yell at anyone who cuts a "natural" umbilical cord off of its baby owner). That is our goal when we undertake the Bris Milah.

A Wise Opinion About NYC and Metzitzah

My position on metzitzah is clear. And the politics that have been going on over the practice in NYC has been a public discussion for far too long.

Here is an article from the NY Post which concludes with the following paragraph.

"This is a crucial election for New York, with many vital issues at stake. It’s tough enough to know what to do about schools, taxes, spending and crime without having our candidates have to weigh in on a Jewish ritual that never should have become a government issue in the first place."

Couldn't have said it better myself. 

Gloves Revisited

Rabbi Aryeh Leibowitz recently wrote an article/essay that explores the halakhic appropriateness of using Gloves while performing a mitzvah, with a specific focus on whether gloves (sterile, of course) should be worn when a mohel performs a bris.

I have written about gloves here. And if I did not make it clear there, I believe that once a mohel chooses to wear gloves (which all parents should INSIST upon!), the only gloves of choice are STERILE gloves - which usually come packaged in pairs.

Full disclosure is that I discussed some of these matters with Rabbi Leibowitz while he was in the draft stage, though I did not review the article before it was posted on the internet.

Here is the link to Rabbi Leibowitz's article. (link goes to the TorahMusings website)

Feel free to chime in (though only relevant and appropriate comments will be approved below)

Bris Wine and Baby

I originally wrote about giving the baby wine at the bris here

A recent experience caused me to rethink not the concept, nor the method, but the source of the wine we give to the baby.

As discussed in the original posting on wine, the source for giving the baby wine most likely comes from the situations in which he is the ideal candidate for drinking it because everyone else is fasting, and no one else has had any of the wine. That the wine is soothing and may act as a kind of analgesic is an added benefit - but is frankly, irrelevant after the circumcision is over (which is the point in time when most of the wine is typically given to him). 

"What happened recently?" you ask.  I'll tell you.

I was about to give some wine to the baby, when the person who had just taken a sip said to me, "I'm sick! Don't give the baby any wine from that cup."

I readily complied and dipped my gauze directly into the bottle, to give the baby "untainted" wine  

After that day, it occurred to me that while the baby is highly unlikely to catch anything from the wine, especially if the drinker merely takes a sip (which is usually the case) and particularly if he does not backwash, but still... If we are trying to keep the baby safe, shouldn't the baby have a cup of wine designated for him, which is not touched by anyone?

Now, there are some rabbis who specifically do not drink from the cup.  While they say the blessings, some wine typically drips on their fingers, and they taste the wine on their fingers, leaving the cup alone.  In those cases, the cup and wine in it remains untainted, and the wine in the cup is as "safe" as the wine in the bottle. But in most cases the one reciting the blessing sips from the cup. Wouldn't it be better for baby if there were a cup of wine dedicated for his use only, so he need not share a cup with an adult who may possibly have some virus in his mouth that could possibly be transferred...?

May be extreme, but seems logical to me... especially in light of the second source quoted here!