Honesty From Your Mohel

Please note: This is not "confessions of a mohel." This is sharing of information, in which I try to be realistic about the pluses and minuses of the bris experience - with whichever mohel you may one day hire.

This blog was born after years of looking at different mohels' websites and finding them to be largely the same. Of course every mohel has a different style, and (obviously) a different web designer, but between explaining the "Order of the Bris," the "Honors/Kibbudim" and, every now and then a "Frequently Asked Questions" page, most of the websites offered little to no information beyond what the particular mohel wants people to know.

But over the years I have been asked MANY questions. Some are fairly simple and common, and some are much more complicated. Because as much as circumcision is a relatively minor surgery, the organ upon which it is done is not "minor," the nature of the procedure in question is quite sensitive - physically AND emotionally, and, perhaps most importantly, the results of the procedure (NOT the ceremony) will last a lifetime, and will be something parents will encounter every day, until the child realizes what privacy is, and from then on HE will encounter the results every day.

[Some people only realize afterwards how much the personality of the mohel, and perhaps how the way he personally experiences his Judaism informs how he runs the ceremony and perhaps relates to people, is also important to them!]

I have met many men who have confided in me that they are not sure if their mohel did a good job. Everything usually "works" but they don't like how it looks or think something is awry. But because it's embarrassing to discuss or address (who really wants to have a cosmetic touch up?), most do nothing about it. Except mention it in confidence to a friendly mohel - who is in the field, but is not interested in rendering an opinion nor is he in a position to do anything about it.

Some mohels have communicated with me how helpful they find this website to be. Others have communicated their opinion that I offer too much information and scare parents away.

To the former I say thank you, and to the latter I respectfully disagree. We live in the Information Age when people find whatever they need to know with a few clicks on a keyboard. And so I have tried to provide information on both extremes, and everywhere in between, so people can have a good understanding of how things can go perfectly, how there could be a few bumps on the road (including this error that some mohels are not careful to avoid) and how much care and thought people need to put into their research and decision making.

And if people choose not to hire me because I am honest and say I am imperfect, so be it.

When I lived in NY, a pediatric surgeon told me he had done touch up work on babies circumcised by every mohel in NY. Even the BEST of the BEST. Here in Florida, a pediatrician and a pediatric surgeon (2 different people) have shared similar statistics. 

NOONE is perfect. And parents, who are often doing research for their mohel on a very limited time frame (too often people wait until after the baby is born, at which time they have only 7 days until the bris), don't have the time to ask ALL the important questions to make sure the mohel they are talking to is exactly what they are looking for. Sometimes, they don't even know what that means.

I take the precautions to make sure I can deliver as close-to-perfect a job as I can. I double check afterwards to make sure everything looks as good as I can get it to look. I try to be as sensitive to your baby as I can, and to give you as much respect, courtesy, and straightforward information as I can. I want you to know what is happening and what has happened to your baby. The ceremony is flexible, depending on your background, your crowd, the setting, your level of observance, and any number of factors that weigh into your personal situation.

And the results show. I meet many babies months after their bris, and their parents are happy, and the babies don't remember a thing. They smile at me, coo at me, and have no ill will.

With the exception of one case where an anatomical abnormality was uncovered once the foreskin was removed (it was not evident while the foreskin was present), I am unaware of any touch-up surgeries that followed my brisses, on account of the precautions I take (the case I mentioned needed a surgery irrespective of the circumcision). Does it mean every circumcision turns out the same? No. And that I am unaware of touch-ups does not mean they never happened. I simply don't know. But most mohels will not say that "it sometimes happens." It's actually a lot more common when an OB-GYN does the circumcision, but it does happen to mohels too. Nobody is perfect.

There you have it. Up front and straight. Everything on the table. From a mohel who is honest with you, who will communicate with you, and who will do the best he can to give you and your baby a positively memorable experience - with the main positive memory being a satisfactory result that you and baby will be happy with for the rest of his life.

May A Bris Take Place At Night?

I've addressed this question in simple terms over here, when we discussed how to time when the bris will take place, along with the notion that the bris should take place while the sun is out.

But I came across the question in Yossele Wesiberg's magnum opus on Bris Milah (Volume I page 154), where he records 4 possible answers:

1. One would not fulfill the mitzvah and there would be a requirement to draw out blood for the covenant (Hatafas dam)

2. One does not fulfill the mitzvah and even Hatafas Dam would not change any status. It is an error that cannot be corrected.

3. One has nonetheless fulfilled one's obligation, with no requirement at all for Hatafas Dam

4. If it was on the night of the eighth day, no Hatafas Dam is required. Any other night would require Hatafas Dam.

Generally speaking, however, we follow the first approach if the circumcision happened to take place at night. But we do not schedule the circumcison to take place after sunset.

The celebratory meal, on the other hand, can go for as long as you like into the evening.

Amazing Bris Experience

I posted this on Facebook, right after the fact, but here is the account of last week's bris: 

Most amazing bris experience today! The father of the baby recently converted to Judaism (Orthodox), and while the baby today is his third son (Jewish mother, of course!), it is the first time he participated in the mitzvah of bris milah as a Jewish father who has the mitzvah to circumcise his son as per our Covenant. 

Easy to say he was the most emotional person in the room, "This is BIG, Rabbi. Isn't it?"

Yes it is. I haven't seen people dance at a bris in a long time, but the men in the room grabbed him (he was sandak as well!) and danced in circles singing "Siman Tov UMazal Tov."

It was AWESOME - this is what Bris Milah is all about. It's a little sad that we need these kinds of reminders of why we celebrate and how to celebrate, but we all got it today.

Truly a special bris. Honored to have been a part of it.

You want to know what Metzitzah is?

See also the Metzitzah page

Update: The link I had here was removed from youtube for "violating community guidelines."

The video briefly described then demonstrated the sterile tube method, and then the direct oral contact method (aka MBP or "metzitzah b'peh"), both of which accomplish the "b'peh" (with the mouth) traditions -  though the first does not involve the mohel's mouth contacting the baby, and the second one does involve this kind of contact. 

My main objection is to the use of the words "more traditional" for the second one. I would call it "more cultic" than "more traditional" because the only tradition it reflects is living in an ancient world.

Having said that, the track record is relatively good. But as I say each time, if ONE baby gets infected from the second method (and that seems to be the reality out there), then that method shouldn't be done, and mohels should opt for the first method, and parents should understand that it is more than adequate. 

Metzitzah in the News Again

It's been about a year since I set up the Metzitzah Page, and things have been relatively quiet.

Until the last few weeks.

First Rav Herschel Schachter was chastized for claiming there are 15 cases a year, most of which go unreported.

And this week, another report has come forward, claiming that two children have been infected with Herpes in NY, post brisses which included Metzitzah (Fox News originally mistakenly said HIV, but they meant HSV - Herpes Simplex Virus)

Here are a few links:

http://www.examiner.com/article/some-new-york-city-infants-contract-herpes-after-ritual-circumcision-1

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2304793/Two-babies-stricken-HERPES-ritual-oral-blood-sucking-circumcision-New-York-City.html

The radio showman Michael Savage (nee Wiener) spent an hour talking about this subject - here is the youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPLh36XYolc

Suffice it to say, the man knows nothing about bris milah and is a bumbling buffoon on this subject. The only thing I'll agree with him on is that the Metzitzah with direct oral suction needs to be stopped. And that the people who say "If it were dangerous we would stop" are not telling the truth. Yes, the numbers don't reflect it being an overwhelming danger, but as I've written before - if ONE baby gets infected or dies from this practice, that is ONE WAY TOO MANY!


It is an irresponsible practice in 21st century. Chazal would not approve if they knew what we know.
It's not a mitzvah. And the argument that it's been practiced for 4000 years is a lie.

It's a chillul Hashem (desecration of God's name). Plain and simple. 

A Mohel in South Florida

There are many cities in Florida that do not have a local mohel. There may be some people who will opt to have a physician play the role on the traditional eighth day, and there are some who will bypass tradition opting for a hospital circumcision in the hospital on day 1 or day 2 of their baby's life. [I don't recommend this path because I believe that a bris milah is incomplete unless it is done by the right person on the eighth day - or afterwards, if delayed for medical reasons.] If a person chooses this latter method, the procedure described here Hatafat Dam Brit, would be needed to turn the circ into a bris.

For those who are looking for the traditional method, a bris done with a mohel, the difficulty comes in finding the right person for your needs, as well as someone willing to travel. 

These are the things that make me - and therefore your bris experience - different than with a different mohel.

The travel expenses are sometimes the biggest deterrent for people contemplating the traditional route. But if you think of bringing in a mohel as a one-time expense which, in most cases, doesn't repeat itself for at least two or three years (if not more, if there's a girl somewhere in the mix), then it becomes a little easier to stomach.

So whether you are looking for a mohel, moyle, moil, moyel, in Naples, in Fort (Ft.) Myers, in Sarasota, in Tampa, in Western Florida, or in Kendall, in Miami, in North Miami, in North Miami Beach, in Ft. Lauderdale, in Hollywood, in Boca Raton, in Delray Beach, in Pompano Beach, in Plantation, in Cooper City, in Palm Beach, in West Palm Beach, in Boynton Beach, in Aventura, in Weston, in Pembroke Pines, in Margate, in Deerfield Beach, in Lake Worth, or in Wellington (not to mention Jupiter, Stuart, Port St Lucie, or Orlando) - or even Gainesville, Jacksonville, Tallahassee or Pensacola, to which I am accessible by plane, be in touch! I'd be honored to join your family for the bris of your son!

CONTACT INFORMATION

Calcium Alginate

New delivery arrived!

I love using calcium alginate as a bandage post-bris. It contains the blood very well and comes off so easily on account of the way it gels when it comes in contact with the bris-wound.

My supply was running low, so my friend Mr. JG from NY hooked me up with the latest supply.

Good for a year of brisses! And loving it

Metzitzah Tubes - Approved by Arukh HaShulchan

The two short letters were composed by Rabbi Yechiel Michel HaLevi Epstein, author of the Arukh HaShulchan on The Friday of Parshas Chukas 5659 a.k.a. 1899.

He blessese those who have innovated the glass tube for Metzitzah, expressing how the merit of the mitzvah (not clear if he's referring to the mitzvah of circumcision or the "mitzvah" of metzitzah) should protect those who made it and use it.

O the Irony!

A Hebrew Name for Brooks

Last Sunday I presided over the bris of a baby who had been given the English name Brooks. His parents asked me if I have any recommendations for a Hebrew name, as they noted that one of the baby's grandfather's has the name Baruch.

I immediately thought of one of the great heroes of the Bible, who is actually mentioned in the Haftorah read the Shabbat of the bris - Barak ben Avinoam - ברק! (Judges, Chapters 4-5) I was not yet aware of the family's political leanings, and I told his mother that the name has been around a lot longer than it has been made famous by the current president.

The baby's mother said to me, "O dear God no. My father hates Obama, and that just won't be possible."

So they named him "Berel." Which is ironic, all things considered, because the President was known as Barry for most of his US formative years. Barry, of course, is a very common English diminutive for Berel.

I have met many Israeli "Barak"s – never been unimpressed. One of the great characters in Leon Uris' "Exodus" was named Barak. It's a great name.

Unless you don't like the President. O well.

Interesting Conversation About Clamps

I received a phone call today from Rabbi Yaron Amit. He is an Israeli mohel who maintains a presence in South Florida, who has an organization that provides free bris services to Jews around the world. He told me they do 28 brisses a day.

He called because I wrote a blog post in response to an article which appeared in IsraPost a few years ago in his name. As it turns out, my response was more against the way the article was translated than against the points he made. My original post has been removed - at his request, and in respect of the clarification - but I would like to share the points he made in our conversation, along with my own commentary.

Rabbi Amit's main issue is that brisses done with a clamp are not kosher. He says there is never blood from such circumcisions and that even when there is blood in the procedure it is blood which emanates from handling an open incision, which is different blood than "dam milah" - the blood of circumcision. He also referred to realities that changed for people - which he witnessed - after their circumcisions-by-clamp were corrected, such as a change in parnasah, finding a mate, and general shift in life turning positive - what he refers to as "spiritual benefits" (my translation - we spoke in Hebrew).

He maintains that any bris done by such a method is unacceptable and needs hatafat dam bris. And that a mohel who uses such a device is unfit to be a mohel, and is unfit for anyone to hire as a mohel.

He shared with me stories of surgical corrections that needed to be done to brisses done through this method, as well as horror stories of amputations of the glans that he has witnessed on account of the use of clamps.

I agree with him on almost all points. I have long advised against the use of clamps:
* For halakhic reasons: Rabbinic approval is scant        Mistake #4
* For practical reasons: Danger        Arrogance (here I outline another practice, which the Rabbi agreed should not be done - "Freehand")
* In addition, in the "methods of circumcision" I have described here (for education purposes), I have made it clear that while there are some mohels who opt to use the clamp, this practice has been forbidden by many many great rabbis and poskim


The points in which we might disagree are:
I maintain that according to Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, if there is minimal blood at the time of circumcision, the bris is valid b'dieved, as long as there was blood. Rabbi Amit believes there is never blood when a clamp is used, and any blood is not "dam brit" as I explained above. Rabbi Feinstein also makes it clear that the clamp is not to be used (Iggerot Moshe Yoreh Deah 3:99).

I am not a fan of telling thousands of people that their bris is unkosher and needs a touch-up, even if it is "merely" Hatafat Dam. With this Rabbi Amit and I will have to agree to disagree.

CONCLUSION: FIND A MOHEL WHO DOES NOT USE A CLAMP (WHO DOES USE A SHIELD) IF YOU WANT THE SAFEST RESULTS, AND NO HALAKHIC COMPLICATIONS FROM THE BRIS MILAH PROCESS. ASTHETIC RESULTS - IN ALL CASES - ARE DETERMINED BY THE SKILL OF THE MOHEL, IRRESPECTIVE OF THE METHOD. ALL MOHELS ARE HUMAN. ALL HUMANS ARE IMPERFECT. EVERY MOHEL SHOULD DO HIS BEST, AND SHOULD TAKE EVERY NECESSARY PRECAUTION TO ASSURE THE BEST ASTHETIC RESULTS HE CAN.

Rabbi Howard Jachter has penned an article in which he talks about the clamp. I don't believe all the responsa he quotes are being portrayed accurately. I also don't understand what he means when he says "As long as the clamp is used properly." The clamp being used properly happens when the clamping arm is closed. This is what all the rabbis wrote against! The clamp being used "improperly" is when the clamping arm is not utilized. If one is not closing the clamp, why not just use the more traditional shield?

The deleted post (that inspired this one) concluded with these links.
He's YOUR baby, you have a right to choose whom you'll hire.
You have the responsibility to ask all the right questions to every mohel you interview before you settle on the one you want
And you also must take care to know what you are looking for to have the right kind of experience for your needs.  Always remember that the wrong attitude is not to ask.

REMEMBER - IMPORTANT REMINDERS (similar links), as well as THE MISTAKES YOU WANT TO AVOID